


like a flower

by reservethesun (cypheraly)



Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Degradation, Depression, Developing Relationship, Disassociation, Drunk Sex, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Friendship, Insecurity, M/M, Male Friendship, Manipulation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Poor Life Choices, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 54,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24245710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypheraly/pseuds/reservethesun
Summary: Happy, friendly King always seems to have a smile on his face and a kind word for most people. Those closest to him know that there are days where that smile is hard for King to mean and that there are things that he does not talk about that puts a sad look in his eye they will do anything to get rid of. Ram wants to be one of those people that King can rely on during those bad days.
Relationships: Bohn/Duen (My Engineer), Boss/Mek (My Engineer), King/Past OMC, King/Ram (My Engineer)
Comments: 177
Kudos: 376





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> So. Well. This fic is going to be fun to write. First of all I wanna say that I owe a lot of thanks to [thefriendyouhate](https://thefriendyouhate.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for being a cheerleader and talking through ideas with me on this and other fics. Thank you so much for continuing to listen to my random thoughts!
> 
> As for this fic, it came to be when the two of us were chatting about how it's always a crappy ex-girlfriend who messes things up and it should be time to turn the tables and have an ex-boyfriend instead of the stereotypical toxic girl. So, King got an ex-boyfriend, and then the want for a King Protection Squad was formed in the same conversation, which led to this.
> 
> A blanket warning on this fic: Please watch for any change in tags and I will try to tag anything that comes along that might need it.

King and his group of friends always seemed to gather in the same courtyard at the one picnic table there next to the center display of plants. The juniors all knew that was where they could be found in the mornings before classes, around lunch time, or even after lessons studying. That particular day, they sat around the table like usual. Something felt different to anyone who approached the table, though. There was a tension that didn't usually exist and no one seemed to be able to pinpoint why. A couple of junior students bypassed the table as Bohn pulled out bottles of water. One he placed in front of King, who was sitting opposite him at the table. King’s focus didn't leave his textbook, but after feeling a harsh nudge under the table, King blindly grabbed the bottle and opened it to take a small drink. A small group of juniors standing nearby exchanged glances. “Maybe we should come back later,” one of them suggested. “It doesn't really look like they're going to want to help us.”

The comment made Ram frown from the back of the group as he studied the others. They did seem a little unfocused on the world around them, like any outside distraction might make them snap, which definitely was not the norm. Usually they were all for helping out the younger students. Especially King, but he didn't seem like his usual smiley self. “I'm hungry,” Boss suddenly announced from his spot next to King at the table. “King, come with me. I need your help deciding.” King sighed but didn't respond. Most of the juniors had wandered off by that point, but Ram continued to stand where he was, tentatively watching the group while ready to leave at a moment's notice. There was a beat of silence with Boss just staring at King, waiting for an actual response.

Boss looked over at Bohn, who nudged King underneath the table once again. King grabbed the water and took another drink without looking up from his notes. “Ai’King! I need food,” Boss tried again. He did his best to keep his voice calm instead of growing irritated at the lack of response that was out of character for his friend. Boss once again looked over at Bohn. He was frowning as he watched King, who finally mumbled a distracted response that didn't seem to actually fit the conversation. “Come on. Time for food.”

All at once, there was a flurry of activity as Boss got up and grabbed King by the arm, beginning to pull him away from the table. The unexpected action made King stumble sideways and almost fall over - Ram unconsciously took a step closer to the table but stopped from going any further. While he felt the urge to rush over and steady King, he wasn't sure that was the best idea as he really was not sure what was going on or why everything seemed so strange. Getting involved in something he might not have been welcome in wasn't something he wanted to do. At the same time, Bohn stood up quickly and nearly knocked over his own water. “Ai’Boss, careful!” he scolded as Boss steadied himself and King before either of them actually fell over. “You know-”

“Yeah. Yeah I know. Sorry. I'll be more careful,” Boss insisted. “We'll be back in a bit. You guys want anything?” The question was one that usually King would have asked, but as he still seemed in a bit if a daze, Boss asked for him. Once he got the answers from everyone, he threw his arm over King's shoulders and started to lead him away from the table.

It was silent there in the courtyard, and Ram was glad that his presence remained unnoticed. He was not sure what he was supposed to make of the situation - and he wasn't sure what was more surprising; seeing King acting so out of sorts or the fact that his friends seemed to be used to that behavior. “I didn't realize it was that bad of a day,” Ram heard Tee comment as he slowly backed away so that he could leave the area while still unnoticed. “Wasn't he fine this morning?”

“Do you think…?” Ram didn't hear the rest of Mek’s question, though a very large part of him had wanted to stop and hear what it was that he had to say. It wasn't a conversation he was supposed to be hearing, he was sure. So, he made his way back to the library to try to work on his homework there - unsuccessfully, as he spent more time thinking about King and just what it was that he'd seen.

Ram attempted to forget, to stop dwelling on it but he couldn't seem to shake it off. King, the guy who had done so much for him, to make him comfortable and help him through some tough times seemed to be struggling a lot and Ram… he just wanted to help. With an inaudible sigh, Ram gathered his things and started to leave the library so that he could head home. He'd finally stopped taking advantage of King’s kindness and taking over his apartment in order to go back home. A part of him missed it, but his mother needed him to be there and he hadn't been able to keep running from what was going on. 

It was completely by accident that Ram found himself walking into the courtyard again. He once again went unnoticed, but King and Boss were back at the table. They'd all switched seats so that Bohn was next to King with Tee on his other side while Mek and Boss sat on the other side of the table. King seemed to be a little more like himself again. He was at least talking with his friends, albeit a little more subdued and quiet than Ram liked to see. He seemed tired and had obvious dark circles under his eyes. Ram wanted to go over and make sure that King was okay, but again he was not sure whether that was a good idea. Just because King had helped him out with his own problems didn't mean King wanted him getting all in his business. “I think I'm going to go home,” King said suddenly. His voice sounded strange, thick and scratchy as if he'd been crying recently. 

“I'll take you,” Bohn insisted as he started to gather both of their things while Ram resumed walking so that he could leave, before getting caught staring. Bohn had a small frown on his face at the fact that King didn't even bother to argue like he usually would have done. Usually he would have insisted that he could get home himself, that he preferred taking the bus. Usually he preferred the anonymity of riding on the bus, but that day he didn't feel like dealing with any of it. He appreciated Bohn giving him a ride. He mumbled some question about Duen as they walked to the car. “Duen is a big boy and can drive himself home.” If it was any other day, Bohn would have loved to have convinced Duen to let him give him a ride home. But, when King was like he was that day… Well, his friends came first. 

They didn't say anything as Bohn drove King home. The radio played quietly to fill the silence between them. Bohn kept glancing over at King, obviously holding himself back from asking if he was okay. It was clear that he wasn't okay. He never fully knew what to do on the low days. They didn’t happen too terribly often, but Bohn knew that did not make them any less awful for King to have to deal with. He felt a small flare of anger as he thought about what he knew of why King had those days - and he took a slow, deep to calm down before he did something dumb like go seek out the guy. “Do you want to talk about it?” Bohn finally asked.

“It's fine. I'm fine,” King answered, more on reflex than anything. He didn't look away from the spot on the window that he was staring out. “It's just…”

“Did he…?”

“I haven't seen him. But there's this thing coming up.” King let the statement hang in the air, holding a heavy weight that they could both feel.

Bohn let out a slow, heavy breath once again as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “You're not going.” Bohn would insist on it. He would physically fight King’s family if they tried to make him go.

“I have to-”

“Fuck that! You don't and you're not going to. Your parents can kiss my ass.”

King was unable to keep the faint smile off of his face at that. It was just a small and subtle upturn of one corner of his mouth. Sometimes he really loved his friends, even if they were dumb half the time. It didn't take them much longer to get to King’s apartment building, and King unbuckled his seatbelt as Bohn pulled up to the front doors. “Thanks for the ride,” King told him.

“Do you want me to stay?” Bohn almost looked as though he was going to stay no matter what King answered.

“I really, really don't.” King sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I just need a minute. I'll be fine tomorrow.”

“It's okay if you're not. It's okay not to be okay all the time, you know.” Bohn’s voice was steady but almost rushed at the same time as if the words were something that he needed to make sure he got out, that King heard him. “You don't have to always take care of everyone else.”

King could not stop himself from giving a small laugh. “This is weird. Since when are you so…” King gestured to Bohn. It made Bohn just smirk at him. “Stop that.” King rolled his eyes and shook his head. Bohn would counter something that sounded incredibly mature and thoughtful with that sort of reaction. “I'll see you tomorrow.” Bohn said goodbye to King, though he seemed reluctant to do so, and let him get out of the car.

It wasn't until King was unlocking his front door that he realized he'd left his school stuff in Bohn’s car. He was sure Bohn would bring it to campus for him the next day. He didn't feel like asking Bohn to bring it to him because Bohn would just use it as an excuse to stay, and King really didn't want him to. He wanted to just make some tea and curl up on his couch with a nature documentary he had recorded but never got a chance to watch. It sounded like the best thing right at that moment. 

King was just finished making his tea and getting ready to sit down when there was a knock on the door of his apartment. It made King sigh heavily but he set aside the tea and went to go see who it was despite a moment where he seriously considered just ignoring whoever it was. With his friends, though, they were likely to start being annoying until he answered the door. He expected maybe Mek or Tee to be standing there. Which was why when he opened the door to find Ram standing there, King blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't seeing anything. “What are you doing here, Ning?” King asked as he stepped aside to let Ram into the apartment. He had told Ram to drop by whenever before, so he didn’t mind that Ram was there at all. He just hadn't really thought that Ram would. Why would he?

“Are you okay?” Ram’s question was quiet but King didn't miss it. King wasn’t sure if it was because his apartment was fairly quiet at the moment or because he’d gotten into a habit of listening for whenever Ram actually said something to him.

The question made King pause, however. He had a moment of simply staring at Ram instead of responding right away. He hadn't expected Ram to actually speak and the fact that he did so while knowing something was wrong was just… something. It was something. King was not sure what it was, but it was… something. King was unsure how Ram had known there was anything wrong in the first place; he knew none of his friends would have told Ram. Then again, he could have simply just noticed how awful King was sure he looked right at that moment and assumed. It was… nice.

He liked knowing that Ram was concerned about him, but King was not sure he deserved Ram’s concern. “I'm… fine,” he answered. He could tell from the look on Ram’s face that he wasn't being entirely convincing. King appreciated that Ram was there and seemed to be willing to listen to him talk but he also just really didn't want to. That would involve telling Ram certain things that he had not planned on telling him ever. He had foolishly thought that maybe he'd be able to have a friend without them having to learn about just how broken he really felt most of the time. The look on Ram’s face told King that he had absolutely failed at being convincing. He did not call him out on it, at least. So, King just pushed forward with the conversation instead of continuing the topic. “I was just about to settle in for watching this documentary with some hot tea. Want to join me?”

King wasn't entirely sure what made him choose to suggest that to Ram. But he didn't want to take it back, either. Having Ram’s company wasn't a horrible thought. He might actually enjoy the company of someone not likely to ask him if he was okay every five minutes. Ram nodded his head in response but said, “No tea.”

It made King smile faintly with a nod of his head. Ram wanted to join him but didn't want tea. Him saying as much made it so that King didn't have to ask. He definitely appreciated it because he honestly would have probably forgotten that courtesy to ask in the first place. The two of them then walked over to the couch where they could settle down on it in front of the television. King grabbed his tea and then sat with his legs folded underneath him. He held onto his tea with both hands as he got comfortable but then placed the cup carefully on his lap and grabbed the remote in order to start the documentary. He could feel Ram’s eyes on him, but Ram continued to remain quiet and did not ask him anything else as they sat there. King set aside the remote and picked up his tea again, almost stubborn in the way that he didn’t look away from the television. “I’ll be fine, Ning,” King finally said about half-way through the documentary and when his tea was gone. He reached over to place the empty cup on the table before sitting up straight again. Ram had only partially focused on the documentary. He’d spent more time paying attention to King. It almost made King want to squirm. He wasn’t used to someone looking at him with such consideration. “Just a bad day is all. I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.”

It was a pretty statement, though King was aware it may not be fully accurate. He hoped it would be a better day the next day, however. He always hated the bad days. Not that his dislike of it was ever enough to stop them from happening. Ram nodded at the statements, and King tried to smile in a reassuring manner. It was definitely an improvement on the smile he’d given before, a little more honest that time as some of the weight on King’s shoulders seemed to have lifted in the time they’d sat there watching. “I’m going to make more tea. Are you sure you don’t want any?” King asked as he got up from his spot, looking at Ram. Ram shook his head in answer and King grabbed his cup to go to the kitchen. 

Once King returned to the living room with a fresh cup of tea, they backed up the documentary so that he could see what he’d missed while he was in the kitchen and settled back into place on the couch. At some point, King had leaned over and rested his head against Ram’s shoulder without really thinking about it. He didn’t pull away, so King guessed it hadn’t been a bad decision. He hadn’t intended to start to doze off, but between the day he’d had, the tea, and the comforting company he found himself unable to stay awake. Ram carefully grabbed King’s unfinished cup of tea from King’s hand when he realized that King had fallen asleep and he placed it aside so that it didn’t get spilled. Ram wasn’t sure if he should stay, but he didn’t want to move and risk waking King up, either. After debating with himself over it for several moments, Ram just stayed sitting where he was while watching the show playing on the television.

Ram wasn’t entirely sure how long he stayed there with King asleep on his shoulder, but eventually his shoulder started to go numb and Ram had the feeling of overstaying his welcome creep in on him more and more. He did not really want to wake King up, though. Ram tapped his fingers against his knee for several seconds as he tried to decide what his best course of action was going to be. Then, Ram carefully started to move while shifting King so that he was laying down on the couch as he stood up. Ram turned off the television and took the cup he’d set aside into the kitchen to wash and place in the strainer next to the sink. He kept glancing over toward the living room every so often to make sure that King was still sleeping and that he hadn’t woken him up. After he was finished with that, Ram walked over to the couch. He debated on grabbing the small blanket bunched up in the corner to place over King, or if he should take King to his bedroom.

He couldn’t be very comfortable on the couch - Ram was not a stranger to it and knew that it was not the best place to fall asleep. Not wanting King to be hurting in the morning, Ram decided to carefully pick him up and carry him to the bedroom. He moved slowly, not wanting to wake King up at all. Though he seemed to worry for no reason as King didn’t stir at all. Ram assumed that he was feeling the emotional drain of the day from his own experience with low days. He gingerly placed King down on the bed, thankful that King seemed to have forgotten to make his bed that morning. It made it so that he could grab the blanket and place it over King. Ram smoothed out the blanket once it was in place and then stood up straight with the intention of leaving but before he could, one of King’s hands wrapped around his wrist. “Stay,” King insisted, though he seemed to still be asleep. 

Ram glanced toward the door, but then felt King tug on his wrist, which nearly made him fall over because it had been sudden and unexpected. It made him let out a small, startled laugh. “Okay,” he agreed. It was not as if it would be the first time he stayed there. He just hadn’t done so since he’d returned home. He still appreciated King having let him crash there for a while, and Ram found that he hoped maybe King had liked him being there as much as he’d liked staying. Ram used his free hand to turn off the light in the room before he gently tried to get King to let go of his wrist. “P’King, let go so I can go to the other side.” He spoke quietly as usual, though that time it was purely with the intention of not fully waking King up.

It was hard to reason with someone who was not actually awake, however, and after several more attempts of trying to convince King that he wasn’t leaving, Ram ended up just sighing before he moved King over to the other side of the bed so that he could lay down on it as well. It was only then that King actually let go of his wrist and Ram shook his head a couple of times at him in absolute amazement. He would tease King about it later. Right then, Ram just made himself comfortable on his side while studying what he could see of King’s face in the faint light of the room. He seemed more relaxed than he had all day, and Ram hoped that meant that whatever it was that was bothering King would not be bothering him as much in the morning. Or, if nothing else, that King would let him help with whatever it was so that knot of worry that still weighed in his chest would have a reason to loosen.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King has a better day, but then he doesn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. So this update is being brought to you by my phone. It's also 3am right now. I hope this makes sense. I'll fix any errors later. Also welcome the asshole of the story.

When Ram woke up the next morning, he was alone in the bed and he could hear the faint sounds of King moving around elsewhere in the apartment. Ram got out of the bed and rubbed his eyes as he walked out into the living room of the apartment. King was over in the kitchen making breakfast. He looked as though he had already dressed and showered for the day. “Morning, Ning,” King greeted when he looked over and saw Ram standing there. “Didn’t wake you, did I?” Ram shook his head and King smiled at him. It was a tired smile, one that didn’t fully reach his eyes, but it was more of an honest one than what Ram had witnessed the day before. “You can shower if you want and I’ve got clothes you can borrow if you don’t want to go back home before classes. When is your first class, anyway?”

Ram smiled softly as King spoke, preferring the sound of his voice like that than the near silence that he’d heard the day before. Being quiet was his thing, after all. It didn’t fit King. While he wanted to ask what had been wrong, he also wasn’t sure if he should. King would share when he wanted to. “Thank you,” Ram said as a way of letting King know that he would stay until either King had to leave or he had to go to his first class.

“Pick out whatever from my room.” King waved a hand dismissively before focusing on cooking again. “Though if this becomes a habit maybe you should start keeping clothes here.” King’s comment was teasing, mostly, but also not at the same time. He knew that Ram had officially moved back home, but, well… He kind of missed the company sometimes. If it meant that Ram would drop by more often, he didn’t mind. King didn’t really expect a response from Ram, and he wasn’t surprised that when he glanced back over, Ram was no longer standing where he’d been before. He’d likely gone in to grab the clothes and shower.

King let out a heavy breath as his shoulders sagged slightly since he was confident he didn’t have an audience for the moment. It was a slightly better day than the one prior. King didn’t feel as low as he’d felt, but still not fully himself, either. It was easier to pretend, though. He would be fine. He knew he would. He always was. King got a plate of food ready for himself and one for Ram before sitting at the table to eat while messaging his friends in the group chat they had. The fact that he was the first one to reach out that morning was apparently cause for celebration in the chat - it made King laugh softly to himself at his friends’ over the top responses. He really didn’t deserve them as friends. He set aside his phone and took a bite of the easy breakfast he’d thrown together with what little he’d had in the fridge.

He brushed his hair back out of his face with his free hand and looked up when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Ram had finished getting ready and had returned. King gestured to the second plate. “It’s nothing much but you should eat something before we head to campus,” he insisted. Ram nodded in agreement before sitting down at the table across from King in order to eat the food that King had prepared for them. King talked some as they ate, mostly mindless talk about his classes and an essay he had to finish soon. Ram didn’t honestly care what was being talked about. He was just glad that King was talking.

The sound of the front door of the apartment unlocking and opening caused both of them to freeze in place and King slowly got up to see who was coming in and why. He visibly relaxed when he realized that it was his sister coming in with several bags from the grocery store. “Oh, you’re awake,” she said when she saw King standing there. “I thought it might’ve been a while since you did any shopping.”

“Bohn called you, didn’t he?” King replied with a slow nod of his head.

His sister didn’t say anything else on the matter. She just smiled and went to move around him in order to continue to the kitchen, but she stopped when she saw Ram sitting there at the table. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were here,” she said as she glanced between the two of them a couple of times. “Well. I’ll get this put up and get out of your way, then.” She held the bags in her hands up a little before she resumed walking to put up the food that she’d brought.

King went into the kitchen with her to help, insisting that she hadn’t needed to bring him food - she simply ignored him and shooed him back to finish eating his breakfast instead. When she was finished putting up the food, she hung around only a couple of minutes longer to talk with King about babysitting his nephews coming up soon. King agreed, figuring that he could do with the distraction. The kids were always unknowingly helpful in moving him past a low period. He was honestly sure that was part of why his sister had suggested it in the first place. Then, she said goodbye to both of them and waved as she headed out of the apartment again.

It didn’t take long for the two of them to finish eating breakfast. When they had, Ram insisted on helping King clean up the dishes and kitchen before they left for the day. “Do you need to stop by your place for your things?” King asked Ram as they walked slowly to the bus stop. Ram shook his head - he could borrow a pencil from one of his friends and there wasn’t anything due in any of his classes that day.

The bus arrived shortly after they got to the stop and they got onto it so that they could head to campus for the day. King spent most of the bus ride complaining about his classes and one of his teachers, warning Ram that he should be fully prepared to have that class next term and that it would be a nightmare. Ram didn’t offer much to the conversation that morning, but he did make a couple of comments here and there. Especially after he noticed how King seemed to smile every time he did. He wasn’t sure if King noticed that he was or not. It made the bus ride not seem so long, and soon enough they were exiting the bus at one of the stops there on campus. “Thanks for the company,” King told Ram with a smile as he patted the side of Ram’s arm. “I’ll see you later?” When Ram nodded in response, King smiled with a wave and walked off in order to go meet up with his friends. Ram stood there a few seconds longer before he left to find his own friends.

King found his friends at the table that they were usually at. Bohn was focused on his cell phone, typing away at something, while Boss was nearly pushing Mek forward off the bench in an attempt to hide behind him as Tee kept trying to reach across the table to hit him - probably for something he’d said before King had gotten there. He smiled a little to himself as he watched his friends for several seconds. Then, he walked over to the table and sat down next to Bohn. “What have I missed?” he asked. It made Boss sit up straight and smile brightly at him while Tee reached around Bohn to pat him on the back. 

They didn’t talk about it - they never did. It was an unspoken agreement between them that whenever the bad days happened, they didn’t discuss them later. Boss had stopped asking, though he used to before. He’d learned that he would never get an answer and only seem to make King feel worse. So, they just… let it go and did what they could to silently remind King that they were there when he was ready to talk. “Your stuff is in my car,” Bohn told him. King nodded and they made plans to go get it just before classes started. They still had some time. King elbowed Bohn, making Bohn look over at him and he nodded toward Bohn’s phone. He shrugged and put his phone away.

“Actually, let’s go get it now,” King insisted. He grabbed Bohn by the crook of his elbow and dragged him up onto his feet.

Bohn protested but ended up following King after they said goodbye to the others. “You can let go.”

“What’s up with you?” King asked as he let go of Bohn’s arm and they walked slowly together toward the parking lot that Bohn parked in.

“Nothing.” Bohn shrugged again, looking ahead of him instead of over at King. He could feel King’s eyes on him and it made Bohn frown. “Really, it’s nothing. Just… another disagreement with Duen. I don’t really want to talk about it.” King nodded in understanding and focused on his feet, though he wanted to keep asking Bohn questions. It turned out that didn't have to. They didn't make more than a couple of steps more before Bohn was sighing and saying, “I never know what he wants. Like… We're supposed to be dating but I feel like every time I try to spend time with him to get to know him better, he's dragging someone else along that he puts more focus on. And sometimes I'll like… try to kiss him because I really want to kiss him and he'll lean in but then he's shoving me away. And I don't know if… if it’s because he doesn't want to kiss me yet or if it's at all. Which that's fine if it is, because I can deal with that, you know? But he doesn't tell me anything about what he wants or thinks and I just…” Bohn groaned and rubbed the top of his head several times in a quick motion, messing up his hair. “Dating has never been this difficult before.”

King frowned to himself as he listened to Bohn talking about his situation. He could tell that there was a lot that Bohn was holding inside and hoped that it would do him some good to let it out. Even if it wasn't to the right person. “You should try talking to him again,” King suggested. He really didn't like seeing Bohn as torn up as he was. “I-” King stumbled to a stop next to Bohn as Bohn suddenly flung an arm out to keep him from going any farther when they reached the edge of the sidewalk as a car screeched to a stop in front of them.

It was a flashy sports car that was painted black with tinted windows so dark that it was impossible to see into the car. King glanced over at Bohn, who shrugged his shoulders, and they both looked back at the car. “You realize you're supposed to drive slow through here, asshole?” Bohn shouted at the driver of the car. “This isn't a parking spot!”

It was several seconds later that the door opened and the driver stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind him while turning to look at Bohn and King - a smile formed on his face as his eyes landed on the latter. It was a warm smile, the kind of smile that could make anyone believe the man was an amazing, warm-hearted individual. Unfortunately for King, he already knew better. “Hi, Khun,” he greeted. His voice was exactly how King remembered it from the last time he'd seen him. It held a light-hearted tone to it, one he'd seen the guy use to charm many a person - but to King, it just made him feel small. He was dressed to impress as he always was, complete with designer everything, with his perfect face and the eyes that had drawn King in the first time they met.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Sunan?” Bohn spat out before King managed to find his voice. 

The smile Sunan gave Bohn in return was nothing short of polite, though it was pinched and looked as though it might break at any second. “I do not believe I was speaking to you.” Sunan barely spared Bohn another few seconds’ glance before he was turning his attention back to King. “Your hair is longer.” King glanced up to where he could s the fringe of his hair in his eyes. Sunan hated when he grew his hair out. King remembered. He could hear the unvoiced  _ too long _ comment from Sunan, which made him absentmindedly reach up with one hand to brush his hair back from his face.

“You should go,” Bohn insisted, but Sunan didn't listen to him - he never did.

Instead, he reached out to smooth out the collar of King’s workshop shirt, tugging gently on the end of it even as King took a step back from him. “I've got to admit, I never thought you could pull off one of these cheap looking things,” Sunan said with a laugh. “It suits you.” 

“Did you just-?”

Bohn looked as though the only thing keeping him from throwing a punch at Sunan was a quick look from King - who made eye contact with him and shook his head just enough that Bohn could see it. During his moment of distraction, Sunan used the opportunity to reach up and start to pat the top of King’s head. As soon as he realized what was happening, King was ducking down and leaning back slowly in order to get him to stop. At the same time, King realized there was someone who had come up next to him and he looked over to see Ram, who had appeared at his side. He had been walking along with some of his friends when he'd seen the car stop in front of King and Bohn, and had slowly been walking closer when he realized that Bohn was looking at the guy much like he'd looked at Ram on the day that they'd fought. When he'd seen that the guy kept reaching out to touch King despite him looking uncomfortable, Ram had made the decision to go over to them. 

“Nu, you've made some new friends,” Sunan commented, that too perfect smile on his face again. “Aren't you going to introd-?” As he was talking, he had reached out to place a hand on King’s shoulder and start to direct him to stand at his side, but he paused his question when Ram suddenly had a hold of his wrist and was lifting his hand off of King’s shoulder - he'd only done so once he saw how uncomfortable King seemed to have the guy touching him. “Not very friendly, is he?” Sunan scowled at Ram, while Bohn just smirked with a small nod of his head. 

King let out a short, harsh breath and grabbed Ram’s forearm. “Unless you actually have something important to say, we've got places to be,” King said, finally seeming to have found his voice. He grabbed Bohn’s arm as well and tugged both of them after him away from where Sunan stood.

“I'll see you soon, Khun!” Sunan called after him.

“Like hell you will!” replied Bohn as he tried to turn back around, but a harsh tug on his arm from King had him continuing to stumble forward and away from the parking lot. “Why are you dragging me away? I could take that pansy ass-”

“Bohn!” King interrupted him as he let go of Bohn’s arm. “Stop. Just… Just stop. He's going to leave. Let it go.”

“He-”

“I said drop it.” There was a snap to King’s voice that Bohn hadn't heard in a long time and Ram wasn't sure he'd ever heard. It made Ram’s brow furrow as he studied King quietly as usual.

Bohn clenched his jaw and took a deep breath through his nose. “I hate him.”

King nodded at the statement. It was not the first time that he'd heard it. “I know you do.” He nodded again before looking over at Ram, only then realizing that he still hadn't let go of Ram’s arm. So he let go with a mumbled apology. He sighed inaudibly at the silent question he could read on Ram’s face, and he ran a hand through his hair as he looked back in the direction they had come from. “Don't worry about it, Ning.” The smile that King gave him was almost believable. “He's just someone we know. He and Bohn are always fighting.” Ram watched King for several seconds, and King was pretty sure that Ram didn't honestly buy that there was not more to the story. However, Ram didn't call him out on it. He just nodded his head. “You should head to class. If you're late just tell the teacher I kept you because I needed help with something.”

Ram seemed hesitant to do so, but after several seconds, he nodded his head slowly and then started to make his way to class. He wanted to stay and ask questions, to make sure that King was okay - but he knew when he was being dismissed. Just because he wanted to stay didn't mean that he was wanted to stay.

“He likes you,” Bohn told King once he was sure that Ram was out of earshot. Bohn could think of no other explanation as to why their junior had suddenly been there, ready to defend King if necessary. 

“We're friends,” was the response that King gave him. If he pointedly ignored looking at Bohn to look at his phone, well, King had no other reason except because he was fielding texts from his mother telling him that it was incredibly rude of him to have blown off Sunan, that he should have shown him around and whatever. King sent back a short apology before putting his phone back into his pocket. “Let's just go to class. We're going to be late.” King was just… Over it. He was tired and ready for the day to be done with. He didn't want to think about Sunan or anything to do with him - but a part of him sort of wanted to go home and take a shower. He reached up and put a hand on his head as he walked next to Bohn, as if he was shielding himself though there was no one there trying to touch him anymore. “Actually… Can you share your notes with me later?”

“Hmm? Yeah. Why?” Bohn replied with a frown. 

“I think I'm just going to go home. I'm kind of just… I want to go home. I'll take the bus. I don't need a ride.”

“Are you sure?”

King smiled a little at Bohn. He knew that if he asked, Bohn would blow off his classes to go with him. It had happened a couple of times in the past. As much as King appreciated it, he really needed a moment to himself, to gather himself and ready himself so that the next time he saw Sunan he didn't just stand there like an idiot. “Yeah. I'm sure. Come by after classes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna join Bohn in his I Hate Sunan club.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the run in with his ex, king returns home for a bit of alone time until he finds himself once again running from the things he doesn't want to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. So we've got another update. In this one we're going to get a bit more of a glimpse into where King's head is at and what he's thinking. There's some pretty negative thoughts in here.
> 
> Also, it should be stated that this story ignores most of the canon after episode 12. The camping trip still happened but Bohn was never assaulted (he and Duen spent most of the trip with their respective friend groups after Bohn got upset about Duen's shirt matching Frong's). King did push Ram away in the tent, but immediately pulled him back and they cuddled but haven't talked about it since (anything else that happened on the trip didn't happen in this fic as they spent time with their respective friend groups per King's request).

King had music playing, filling up the quiet and empty spaces of his apartment. He had the blinds open in all the windows to allow in the sunlight as much as possible while the sun was bright and shining. He busied himself with taking care of his plants and cleaning up around the apartment. He did everything he could to make sure he kept that smooth sounding voice that he heard far too often in his head or dreams from getting too loud. Seeing Sunan again just brought back way too many memories. Admittedly, some of them were good memories, but they were tarnished by the bad ones. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door to his apartment that made King jump and almost knock one of his plants off of the ledge it was on. “Sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive me,” he mumbled to the plant, making sure that it was steady and secure. Then he went over to turn down the music he was listening to before he went over to answer the door. He knew that it couldn't be Bohn yet, he still had class for a while. That and Bohn could have just let himself in if he wanted. King didn't really expect to see Ram there at the door for the second day in a row, but he wasn't going to complain. Ram had easily become one of his favorite people to be around, and King would not mind his company. “Hey, Ning,” he greeted as he stepped aside to let Ram into the apartment. “All done for the day, then?”

Ram nodded his agreement to the statement as he followed King into the living room. “Did you leave early?” Ram asked as they both sat down on the couch. King hesitated for a few seconds but then nodded in answer to the question. “Because of that guy earlier?”

King was not sure how to answer the question. He wasn't really in the habit of lying. He might omit the truth sometimes but he didn't like actually lying. He didn't really want to talk about Sunan with Ram, though. Ram was someone who just… He didn't know about any of it. He didn't know about the things that King kept hidden. He didn't know and King had never intended to let him know. It seemed more and more like he would not be able to keep it to himself much longer. And after everything Ram had trusted him with, it was only fair that King trusted him, too. “That guy…” King sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “He's… a complication.”

“An ex?”

King almost laughed out loud, wondering just how Ram had so easily come to that conclusion. Then again, maybe it was obvious. He wasn't sure. He didn't know how the situation looked to someone from outside of it. Maybe it was obvious enough. “Mn. First and only.” King had been on a few dates since the breakup, but nothing that had amounted to an actual relationship. It just had never felt right and he never really knew why. “It's fine, Ning. Nothing I can't handle. I'm a big boy. I do my own dishes and everything.”

“Your sister did your grocery shopping for you.”

King’s jaw dropped at the casual way that Ram had made such a cheeky comment. Ram was smirking at him and King could not keep himself from laughing as he smiled. King nudged Ram gently with his shoulder, leaning over enough to do so before he was sitting up straight again. “Maybe so, but really, I'm okay.” He maybe had days where he wasn't okay - but for the moment, he was okay. The fact that Ram was there with him maybe had something to do with it, too. He really had gotten to where he found comfort in having Ram around. King tried not to think too much on it, especially after the camping trip. There were a lot of things about the camping trip that King tried not to look back on. “How were your classes today?”

Ram shrugged his shoulders with a bored expression on his face in what could be considered a very universal response to a question about classes. King could definitely understand without any further explanation. While he would like to think it meant he was getting better at reading what it was that Ram didn't say, he was pretty sure even a stranger could have figured that one out. “Any homework?” he questioned, finding it easier to fall into mentor role instead of letting the conversation dwell on his own issues for too long. King had never been very good at talking about his own problems. He would rather help take care of somebody else’s.

Ram shook his head in answer. He did have some homework but it was the end of the week and he could put it off until Sunday. King didn't need to know that. Ram would much rather make sure that King really was okay. He had been distracted and worried through all of his classes that day. He couldn't stop thinking about the look that had been on King’s face as that guy talked to him. He didn't like seeing King look so… Small. It wasn't a way he would have ever thought to describe King, but it was the most accurate way to describe what he'd seen. Loud, personable and outgoing King had just looked small next to the man that had tried to touch him when he clearly did not want to be touched. It didn't sit right with Ram at all. 

He was just about to ask King another question about what had happened - one he would understand if King chose not to answer - when the sound of the door opening made both of them look to see who was there. Bohn came walking down the entry hall, putting his spare key back into his backpack. He smiled cheekily at King as he went to sit down in the living room with them. Ram frowned as Bohn made himself comfortable on one of the seats. “Didn't realize you had your nong over,” Bohn commented with a small raise of his brow that King pointedly ignored.

“You didn't bother to ask if anyone was over,” King reminded him. Ram silently greeted Bohn because he didn't want to start anything with King being right there but he didn't bother to mask the frown on his face - though it maybe wasn't as much of a frown as it could have been as Ram realized that King didn't correct Bohn’s “your nong” comment. It left a warm feeling in his chest that he couldn't quite explain. “Did you bring the notes?”

“Mn. And some snacks that Boss insisted I bring to you. Tee wants us to all get together again. Sunday if that's cool.” He didn't bother specifying that it would be at King’s family home - that was where they always gathered if it was going to be all of them. The kitchen was bigger than the ones in any of their apartments. They had tried to gather at each one of their apartments before. It always ended in disaster.

“Are you inviting Duen?”

Bohn tensed slightly at the question and slowly glanced over at Ram before he focused on King again. “I mean, yeah. But I wouldn't expect him to show up.” Bohn shrugged his shoulders. “He'll probably be busy with his sister or one of his friends. Or anybody else that's not me.” Bohn looked over at Ram again, frowning when he realized that he couldn't read the expression on Ram’s face. “But I'd rather not talk about this in front of his best friend.” Bohn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wanted to talk to King about it, but he would wait until he had a chance to talk to King away from Ram. “Anyway. You good?”

King hummed in agreement, nodding his head. “I'm good.” Bohn shot him a look of disbelief in response. King sighed and rolled his eyes very overdramatically at the reaction. “Really. I’m good. Why don’t you believe me?”

Bohn pointed at Ram, then, and said, “You don’t believe him, do you?” Ram gave King a side glance before he looked back at Bohn with a shrug of his shoulders. He didn’t think that King was fully okay, but he seemed to be doing alright at that moment, anyway. “See, even your nong doesn’t believe you.”

“That isn’t what he said.” King ran his hand through his hair and then rested his elbow on top of Ram’s shoulder.

Bohn’s brows lifted slightly at King’s comment and he glanced between the two of them a couple of times. “He didn’t  _ say _ anything.” He had known that King had been spending a lot of time with Ram lately - he didn’t know why or how considering the younger guy never really seemed to say much. He had heard about King ending up having to share a tent with Ram during the camping trip, but he’d spent too much of the trip trying not to let his emotions get the best of him to really pay much attention to what his friends had been doing. He and Duen had fought a couple of times, but ultimately Bohn had told Duen to just spend time with his friends since it was obviously what he’d rather do. Bohn had spent the rest of the trip pouting and keeping to himself. That all aside - he hadn’t realized that King had spent enough time alone with Ram that he could know what Ram meant without him actually saying anything.

“Okay, it’s not what he meant, then.” King rolled his eyes at Bohn before looking over at Ram. “Right?” Ram nodded his head and King looked back at Bohn with a smirk. “See? Now, stop worrying about nothing.”

Bohn eyed King warily but nodded his head a couple of times. Honestly, King understood why Bohn doubted his words. He hated that he had ever made his friend get into a position where that doubt was justified. But, it was what it was. King couldn’t really change it except by proving to Bohn that he meant what he said. “Yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you want what Boss sent or not?”

King hummed an agreement and nodded his head. Even if he didn’t eat them right then, he was sure that he would get to it eventually. “I’ll make sure we’ve got what we need for Sunday,” King told him as he grabbed the packages from Bohn and placed them aside. “Anyone want anything in particular?”

“Just the same as usual, probably.” Bohn shrugged his shoulders. “But I’ll ask.” Bohn then looked back at Ram, trying not to read into it too much at how King seemed comfortable there next to him in a way he didn’t think he’d ever seen King be with anyone. “Nong, are you coming?” Ram’s brows rose in silent question, unsure as to why Bohn was asking him that. He figured it was a lowkey invitation to join, but the fact that it was Bohn making that step was… strange. Ram glanced over at King, who gave a small shrug in response. He didn’t mind if Ram wanted to join them, but he didn’t want Ram to feel like he needed to go, either. Ram then looked back at Bohn with a nod of his head. “Guess I’ll see you Sunday, then. I’ve got to go talk to Duen.”

“Do that,” King insisted with a nod of his head. “Don’t forget-”

“I won’t forget, mom,” Bohn interrupted with a pointed roll of his eyes. King scowled at him and Bohn just smiled as he got up and grabbed his bag. “Call later. I wanna talk.”

King agreed that he would call Bohn later and waved at him as he left. He didn’t bother seeing Bohn out as he’d seen himself into the apartment in the first place. With Bohn gone, the apartment fell almost quiet once again. The music was still playing in the background, but it was soft and almost easy to forget was even playing. “Are you going to stick around for a while, Ning?” King asked Ram as he rested his chin on top of his arm that was still in place on top of Ram’s shoulder. “Or are you going to head home?”

Ram didn’t answer right away and King wasn’t sure what to make of the quiet. “I can stay,” Ram finally answered after several moments of silence passed between them.

He reached up to take a hold of King’s hand, making King lift his head before Ram gently tugged King’s arm off of his shoulder. King nearly jerked his hand away but Ram didn’t let him. He tightened his hold just enough that it kept King from actually pulling away. It made both of them freeze in place. King found himself thinking back to the tree planting trip, to him having pulled away from Ram before they ended up sleeping cuddled close to one another. It had only happened because King had grabbed Ram’s arm and pulled him close again, almost immediately having regretted pushing him away. The next morning, King had insisted that Ram spend time with his friends before he’d gone off to find Bohn. They hadn’t talked about it since. King wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it - about any of it. He didn’t know what it meant, what it meant to Ram. He didn’t want to build things up in his head to mean more than they were. He didn’t want to get any more attached to Ram than he already was. It would hurt less when he decided whatever fascination he had with King was over and done with. “P’King-” Ram started to say, but King suddenly got up from the couch, successfully pulling away from Ram that time.

“I’m starving,” King said with a quick smile at Ram. “What do you want? Wait, let’s see what I’ve got, first.” King then went over to the kitchen, leaving Ram sitting on the couch. Ram sighed and reached up to rub the side of his neck before he got up and followed King into the kitchen. “Something easy, yeah? I don’t think I have the patience to make a full meal.”

“I can help.” Ram pushed up the sleeves of his shirt as King turned to look at him. King paused for a few seconds before nodding and grabbing some ingredients out of the cabinet.

Together it didn’t take too long to get dinner made. King went back and forth between talking about random things or singing along with the music still playing in the background. Ram didn’t say much, but he input a thought or two here and there. Every time he did, King could not stop himself from smiling at Ram. He really did like that Ram was growing comfortable enough around him to talk more and more. King knew he needed to not get too used to it, though. With the way his life tended to go, he needed to stop before he got any more attached. It was already a problem, one he wasn’t sure what to do about. So, he just stopped thinking about it for the moment. He didn’t want to let his wayward thoughts ruin what was actually a good evening. 

Neither one of them said much as they ate once they’d finished cooking. They just sat there listening to the radio still playing or scrolling through their phones between bites. Ram kept glancing up at King, who seemed focused on his food or his phone until Ram actually said something. Then King would look at him with one of those smiles that made it impossible to not smile as well. When they were done eating, King got up from the table and grabbed their plates, mumbling that he was going to clean them up and that Ram was free to do whatever. Ram would have offered to help, but something told him that King wouldn’t let him.

So, Ram sat there silently as King cleaned up. He only stood up when it was obvious that King was almost finished cleaning the dishes, and that was only to go over to the radio that had been playing music the whole time and turn it off - it was a distraction. King finished cleaning up and dried off his hands before he returned to the living room where Ram was. “What’s up?” he asked Ram before Ram turned to look at him. King started to move over to the couch, but he stopped when Ram grabbed onto his wrist. Neither one said anything, then, as they stared at one another - there were a million questions in Ram’s eyes and King almost swore out loud when he realized that he could all too easily read each and every one of them.

It grew easier all the time for the two of them to have full conversations without words, and that moment was one of them. Ram just wanted to know what was going on, to help King in any way that he could. King was scared of far too many things to be voiced aloud. “I should shower,” King said suddenly, attempting to walk away from the situation and the conversation. King only made it a few steps when he realized that Ram hadn’t let go of his wrist, making him look to Ram who was staring intently back at him. Neither one of them said anything. King found himself holding his breath for several seconds as he looked between each one of Ram’s eyes.

There was a sadness in his eyes, but a determination at the same time. It almost made King want to try to run all over again. But, he knew that Ram wasn’t going to let him run that time. With a heavy sigh, King nodded his head a couple of times before he let Ram lead him back to the couch. King knew he needed to be honest, that Ram deserved that much. It was just… difficult. He didn’t want to talk about any of it. He didn’t want to talk about a lot of things, things that he knew they eventually needed to address. “That guy,” Ram prompted King once they sat down on the couch. There was a part of him that wanted to talk about the night in the tent, about the different moments since then, but something in King’s face made him decide on discussing the other elephant in the room, instead.

“Sunan,” King said. He wasn’t looking directly at Ram and he tried not to focus on the way that Ram’s fingers were still curled around his wrist. There was something soothing in the hold, almost grounding in a way. It didn’t scare him because King knew that if he really wanted to pull away, if he really wanted to be let go, Ram would let him go. “My ex’s name is Sunan. We met… a long time ago. He isn’t- He wasn’t-” King let out a short, harsh breath as he tried to think of the words that he wanted to use. He really hated talking about Sunan, hated giving him any sort of power over him still. “I know a lot of the things he said to me and made me believe aren’t true. They still affect me to this day, whether I want it to or not. It’s why Bohn hates the guy so much. He saw me at my lowest point because of Sunan.” King still didn’t look directly at Ram, though he could feel the intensity of Ram’s gaze on him. It made King want to run away all over again. “He made me hate myself and believe that I could do no better than him.”

“He’s wrong,” replied Ram quietly. It made King finally turn to look at Ram completely. “You’re a great person, P’King. You’re always…” King pulled his wrist from Ram’s hold to cross his arms over his stomach instead. Ram didn’t try to stop him. He maintained eye contact with King, instead. King was pulling in on himself because he was uncomfortable, feeling far more exposed than he wanted to be. “You’re patient and kind. Y-”

“Thanks, Ning,” King interrupted with a small smile. He didn’t need the reassurance, couldn’t stand to hear it right then. He just wanted to hide away or become invisible. He didn’t want to be seen, didn’t want Ram to be able to look at him with such intensity in his eyes. He didn’t want Ram to care - especially if he was going to end up just turning around and leaving. 

Which he would. King knew that he would. Ram would get busy with classes, with the people who were actually his friend. He would run out of time and patience for the weird phi who always seemed to hang around and push his way into peoples’ lives when he wasn’t wanted. Suddenly, King realized that he really shouldn’t be talking with Ram anymore. He really shouldn’t start spilling his soul to someone who was ultimately going to disappear once he no longer needed King’s help with anything. King cleared his throat and stood up again, running a hand through his hair a couple of times before Ram had a chance to grab his arm. “I’m going to shower,” he insisted as he walked away from the couch. He knew it was abrupt, running away again. He wasn’t going to take it back, however. “You can see yourself out if you get bored.” King didn’t look back to see if Ram got up from the couch. He just went to his bedroom to grab a change of clothes before going to the bathroom - he shut and locked the door after him in what was a futile attempt at putting a wall between himself and the things he would always be running from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor King. And Ram. He just wants to help and be there for King while King is so sure Ram being around is only fleeting. Also, I'm tired and fighting a migraine now - if anything doesn't make sense let me know and I'll try to fix it/clarify to you. Thanks!


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king and ram have a moment, or two, and king finds himself once again dwelling on the fact that he's putting far too much into whatever it is going on with ram when he needs to not. he maybe makes some dumb decisions from that point on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. So. There's some cute in this chapter. Some sadness, too. But we are moving forward with the plot.

King wasn't sure how long he spent in the shower. It was long enough that his skin was wrinkly and red and sore in places where he'd scrubbed too hard. But he felt better. Sort of. He no longer felt as though he was going to crawl out of his skin anyway. He took his time drying his hair and changing clothes. He pulled the hood up on the size-too-big hoodie he was wearing. It was a hoodie he'd stolen from one of his friends somewhere along the line. King was pretty sure it had originally been Mek’s hoodie. It was his by that point, obviously. It was big and warm and soft and made King feel safe. When he finished changing, King cleaned up the bathroom and put the dirty towel and clothes into the hamper. Then he grabbed his phone and made his way back to the living room while texting Bohn, asking him how his talk with Duen went. Bohn didn't answer and King took that as a positive sign, or a sign they were still talking at least. 

He was intending to go lock the front door before heading back to his room, and it was then that King realized Ram was still there in the living room. King didn't know how long he'd been in the shower, but it apparently was long enough for Ram to have left and come back because he was in different clothes that King knew were not his. It made King blink rapidly several times as he lowered his phone to his side. “You're still here,” King said. He hated how unsteady his voice sounded as he spoke. It shouldn't have caught him off guard like that. But he hadn't expected Ram to stay - why would he stay? It didn't make any sense that Ram would stay. Yet, there he was looking comfortable and casual, like he belonged there.

Ram nodded his head a couple of times. “I hope that's okay,” he said slowly.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Of course it's okay, Ning.” It was definitely okay. King was glad that Ram hadn't left, that he wasn't there alone. He just… He hadn't expected Ram to stay. The fact that he had… It was a lot. King felt a lot and he wasn't sure how to deal with any of it. It once again made him want to run and hide away. King hated how often Ram made him feel that way. “You don't want to go home?” Ram slowly shook his head while attempting to maintain eye contact with King. King hated that, too, because it made him feel much more vulnerable than he liked feeling. “It's not going to be too terribly exciting, though. I just planned on watching some movies on my laptop and sleeping.”

“That's okay,” Ram replied. He seemed to be thinking over his word choices more than he usually did, trying extra hard to make sure what he said was really the words he wanted to say. “I want to be here.”

King stared at Ram for several seconds before he nodded his head. “Oh. Okay. Well.” King gestured toward his bedroom before he went to make sure his door was locked. Then he made his way back to the bedroom, where Ram had already gone and sat down on one side of the bed - Ram’s side of the bed, King's mind supplied before he could stop it. The thought almost made him pause as he grabbed his laptop off his desk, but he pushed the thoughts aside. He didn't need to be caught getting tripped up by something that was ultimately nothing. “Do you have anything you want to watch?”

Ram shook his head with a shrug of his shoulders - he didn't have a preference. King nodded in response and sat down on the bed as he pulled up his preferred streaming service in order to choose a movie to play. As he chose a movie, he glanced around, attempting to come up with a way to make it easy for them both to see the screen. He could put the laptop on the bedside table, but that could involve Ram having to lay close to him in order to see. He could hold it on his lap as they both watched, but that could have the same outcome. Every option was either awkward as hell or could involve Ram being far closer than King thought he could handle. It was obviously a dumb idea, but it was too late for King to take it back. With a huffed out breath, King placed the laptop on the bedside table before laying down on his side to face it. He didn't move as he felt Ram get settled behind him. He could tell Ram was on his side, too. He was likely using his arm folded up under his head to lift it up enough to see over King's head. King could practically feel Ram right behind him, though he knew that Ram was a respectable distance away from him.

Neither one of them said anything else as King started the movie. There was an odd tension to the room, one that King hated but couldn't bring himself to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to have that conversation only for things to become horrible once Ram grew bored with being around him. It was better like it was right then. With King pointedly staying focused on the movie. He put his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie and curled up slightly on his side, making himself small on the bed and did his best to ignore the comforting, warm feeling of Ram at his back. He could pretend that Ram wasn't there, just focus on the movie until he fell asleep.

Falling asleep was a lot easier than King thought it would be. What was more difficult was waking back up once he found himself stuck in a nightmare. There were several times during the nightmare that King told himself it was just a dream. That didn't stop it from being terrifying. Knowing that it was a bad dream didn't stop the contents of the dream from making him shake. It took him far too long to realize that it wasn't the dream. Someone was gently shaking him, attempting to wake him up with a soft, “P’King. Wake up. You're dreaming.”

King sat up with a sharp inhale through his nose once he was fully awake. Before he could protest, he found himself wrapped up in Ram’s arms. King froze there, his face pressed against the top of Ram’s shoulder as both arms around him kept him close. King let out a shaky breath and before he could stop himself he had both arms wrapped around Ram’s middle. His hands clutched at the back of Ram’s shirt, fingers twisting into the material as he tugged Ram impossibly closer. He knew he should pull away, to tell Ram to stop. He couldn't form the words. Not when Ram’s arms around him felt like the only thing keeping him grounded, like the only thing that proved he was really there. King squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he turned his head without thinking about it, effectively pressing his face into the side of Ram’s neck. He didn't realize it at first until he felt one of Ram’s hands come up and run through his hair on the back of his head. King wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or something else that kept him from pulling away once he realized what he'd done. 

Eventually, the two of them moved to lay back down on the bed. It was awkward due to neither one letting go of the other, but they made it work as they lay on their sides. King didn't pull away at all, couldn't bring himself to look at Ram. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing whatever expression was on Ram’s face. Before he really knew what was happening, King fell asleep again. He was almost too warm with the hoodie and Ram’s arms around him - but he managed to fall asleep anyway.

That warmth that he'd fallen asleep in was why when he woke up the next morning, he was all too aware of Ram’s absence. Ram’s side of the bed felt cold when King slowly reached over and ran his hand over the spot that had been vacated at some point. King sat up and rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands, and when he lowered them he realized there was a note on the table next to the bed on Ram’s side. King hesitated for several seconds but then he reached over and picked up the note to read. It was an apology from Ram, telling him that he'd had to go home because his mother needed him. He also mentioned seeing King on Sunday, which reminded him that Bohn had invited Ram to join all of them for that. King suddenly felt nervous and he wasn't sure why. It didn't make sense. 

Ram had signed the note “Ning” and without realizing it, King brushed his thumb over the signature several times with a faint smile on his face. As almost disappointing as it was to have woken up alone, King found that the note made up for it. Which was silly. It was just a note. It was just something stupid and meaningless. It shouldn't have any affect on him. He was failing at the whole don't get attached agenda he promised himself he'd work on. “What am I doing?” King mumbled to himself and he ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times. He needed to stop. He couldn't keep spending time with Ram like he was doing. He couldn't keep relying on him so heavily. It was a foolish thing to do and would only end in him getting hurt. He knew how things would turn out, no matter how much he might wish… Ah but that was dumb to do. Wishing. 

King needed to do something. He needed to get Ram off of his mind. He needed to forget about Sunan. He needed a drink. A lot of drinks, preferably. It had been a while since he'd done anything like that, but right at that moment it felt like the best thing to do. Far better than having everyone at his parents’ place, watching Bohn make heart eyes at Duen and trying to keep himself distant from Ram. After crumbling up the note and tossing it aside, King got up from the bed and grabbed his phone to message Boss, Tee, Mek, and Bohn in their group chat that there was a change in plans. He wanted them to meet up with him that night, instead. He wanted to go out and have fun and just forget about everything that had been bothering him lately. He had promised his friends that he wouldn't do so without them after the last time he'd done that and found himself in the middle of a very bad situation he no longer remembered the full details of. All King knew was that his friends had ended up scared and he'd been pretty ill afterward from drinking way too much. After that, they had made him promise that if he was going to go out and drink his problems away, he would do so with them instead of by himself. 

When he got confirmation from everyone, King sat back down on his bed and then lay back. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the twisty feeling in his stomach and how there was a voice in his head that didn't seem to want to shut up and was telling him he was making a dumb decision. He just ignored that voice, and instead focused on trying to get his mind to stop wandering to places it didn't need to be.

Meanwhile on campus, Bohn frowned at his phone as he set it down before looking over at Duen. His boyfriend was sitting next to him with a few of Duen’s other friends at the same table as they all did homework and chatted about things. Bohn then glanced over at Ram, who was sitting opposite of Duen at the table. Duen had had to physically drag Ram out of his home to join them as he'd insisted several times over he couldn't. Eventually he'd given in when he hadn't been able to give Duen a reason that he couldn't go. “Hey, uh, Duen,” Bohn said, catching his attention. “Ram, too, I guess.” The statement made Ram look up from his notebook to Bohn with a slightly furrowed brow. “The thing on Sunday is being postponed.”

“Huh? Why?” asked Duen as he put down the pencil he was using to write his notes with.

“Change of plans.” Bohn looked back to Ram as he debated with himself on whether or not he should say anything about what was happening. He was not unaware of Ram’s fondness for King, and he wasn't sure how Ram would take the information on what was going on. It wasn’t entirely his business, but also… Bohn just wasn’t sure what was going on completely. He wasn’t sure King knew what was going on, either. It was kind of a mess, honestly, and Bohn had no idea how he was supposed to handle things.

He guessed he could just leave it as simple as the gathering Sunday being postponed, and Ram wouldn't need to know what the plans were outside of that. But then Duen asked, “Why? What's going on?”

“Uh…” Bohn was not sure how to approach the question. He didn't want to lie to Duen. He didn't want to say too much, either. Partially because it wasn’t Duen or his friends’ business what was going on in King’s life, and partially because he didn’t want to be the one to tell Ram what the plans had been changed to. “The guys and I are going out tonight. This place downtown that K- we like.” Bohn fidgeted a little in his place as he felt Ram staring at him. He slowly looked over at Ram and gave him a small, apologetic smile. “I’d invite you to go with us, Duen, but uhm. Well, I will be too busy to really spend much time with you. It’s kind of this thing-”

“It’s okay,” Duen interrupted with a smile. “You don’t have to explain.” He reached over and took a hold of Bohn’s hand on top of the table with a gentle squeeze, making Bohn let out a heavy breath. “If you want to spend time with your friends, that’s fine.” Duen smiled once again and let go of Bohn’s hand to grab his pencil again.

“Well, why don’t we all go?” Ting input from her spot at the other end of the table. “We could all-”

“No,” Bohn interrupted, making her narrow her eyes at him. He gave her a tight, almost apologetic smile. “No, it’s- Nevermind. I don’t need to explain things to you.” Bohn looked over at Duen when Duen pushed his shoulder and told him to be nice. “I am being nice. I’m not saying that to be mean. It’s just… this is something between my friends and I don’t need to explain why they wouldn’t want someone they barely know tagging along.” None of them needed to know where they were going or why. It wasn’t their business. “I don’t think where we’re going will be your scene, anyway.”

“Why? Are you heading to that gay club?” She laughed as she asked it, but then the laughter faded when Bohn just shot her a look in response. “Oh.”

Bohn sighed and turned to look at Duen again. “I’m going to go, actually. Need to go do some things but I’ll call you later?” Duen hummed an agreement and Bohn smiled at him before getting up and gathering his things. As he did, he glanced at Ram once again. Ram hadn’t said anything but he had a thoughtful expression on his face. When he looked at Bohn, Bohn gave him another one of those small, apologetic smiles before he left. It took all of Bohn’s self control to not turn around and tell off Duen’s friends when he heard one of them ask if Duen was really okay with the idea of Bohn going to a gay club, but then Duen became defensive of him, insisting that he trusted Bohn. It almost made him want to go back and kiss the top of Duen’s head. He knew that Duen still wasn’t comfortable with big public displays of affection like that, though, so he kept walking, instead.

Bohn left campus to go by his house so that he could grab clothes that were better suited for their plans of the evening. Then he went to King’s place. He stopped to grab them food along the way and let himself into the apartment once he got there. “I brought food,” Bohn called out as he made his way over to the kitchen table. “Get your butt out here and eat something, or we’re not going tonight.” He placed the bag of takeout on the table and then went over so he could toss his other bag onto the couch. “Ai’King!”

“I’m coming, hold on!” King shouted from his bedroom. He didn’t move to get up off of his bed right away, however. He hadn’t expected Bohn to show up for another couple of hours still, honestly.

He knew that Bohn would show up and make sure that he ate something before they went (and, okay, maybe that was because that one time they didn’t and King was sick for days afterward). He was also sure that Bohn was going to attempt to try to change his mind. He always did anytime that King got it into his head that it was something he wanted to do. It wasn’t something that happened a lot, just… occasionally. After he’d had a low point, going out and having some careless fun was something he tended to enjoy. He appreciated his friends who went with him to make sure he was as safe as he could be, and took care of him where he would usually be the one taking care of them. With a sigh, King pushed himself up off of the bed and made his way to the other room. “You look like shit,” Bohn commented as he gave King a once over as he placed the containers of food on the table.

“Thanks,” replied King with a roll of his eyes. “I didn’t expect you for another couple of hours. The place doesn’t even op-”

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Bohn ignored the way that King scowled at him for interrupting. He grabbed King’s shoulder and directed him to sit down on one of the chairs before he sat down in the other chair. King nodded as he grabbed the plastic fork sitting on the table next to the container of food in front of him. “Really, really sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” King scoffed at Bohn as he opened the container. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Bohn fixed King with a steady look, watching as his friend busied himself with his rice and chicken. “Does this have anything to do with that nong of yours?”

“He’s not m- No. Why would it?” King ran his free hand through his hair and scowled at Bohn. Bohn busied himself with his own food, only looking up when King sighed heavily. “I just want to go out and have some fun. I can go by myself if you’re going to make some big thing about it.”

“You will not. The last time we let you go alone y-”

“Yeah, yeah. I remember.” King took a bite of his food, and then rested his temple against his fist as he rested his elbow on the table using the arm he wasn’t using to eat. “Whatever. It doesn’t mean anything, and I didn’t ask you to judge me. I asked you because you lot insisted that I not go alone, and I am going out tonight. Whether you go with me or not.”

Bohn nodded his head as he poked at his food before taking a bite of it. “Ai’King, we’re going with you, don’t get so defensive. I just want to make sure that you’re not going to regret everything in the morning.”

King made a small laugh at that. “I thought the point in going out was to regret your choices in the morning.” Bohn sent King a look that told him the joke wasn’t appreciated, which made King shake his head and shrug his shoulders. “Could you just… stop trying to throw logic at me? I’ve made up my mind.”

“Would you listen to me if I told you I think you’re making the wrong choice?” King shook his head at Bohn’s question, making him sigh. “I don’t think this is just about Su-”

“I didn’t ask what you thought.” Bohn paused and just stared at King for several seconds. King sighed and dropped his fork into the food in front of him before reaching up to rub his face a few times before dropping them to the table. “Sorry. I’m sorry. That was…” King trailed off with another heavy sigh. He didn’t want to be an asshole to his friends, and he hadn’t meant to snap at Bohn like that. He was just - There was a lot going on and King wasn’t sure how he felt. It was why he wanted to go out and escape all of it for the night.

“I told Ram that the Sunday thing wasn’t going to happen,” Bohn told King after the two of them had sat in silence for a while and just ate their food. It made King look up at him. “He was with me and Duen earlier. You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“No. I forgot.” He had actually forgotten. He’d been too busy trying not to think about Ram. Or how nice it was to be close to him. Or how Ram barely had to try to make him smile. Or how he could all too easily get used to how it felt to be looked after. He needed to put some space between himself and Ram. Which maybe had more to do with his decision to go out than anything. He could do with some distractions, getting out of his head for a while. “Thanks for telling him.” King tapped his fingers on top of the table as he looked over toward the doorway that led to his bedroom, where he’d left his phone. 

“He’s worried about you.”

“Yeah, well. He shouldn’t be.” King shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat, ignoring the look that Bohn gave him. “I’m fine.”

Bohn hummed in response, though it sounded very disbelieving. King chose to ignore that, too. Neither one of them said much else as they finished eating. King helped Bohn pick up and then he went to grab his phone. He sent a message to Ram apologizing for the change of plans and said he’d see him at school later. Just because he needed to put distance between them didn’t mean he planned on cutting Ram out of his life completely. They could still be friends. He wanted them to be friends. He just needed to remind himself that Ram wasn’t someone he should get attached to because eventually he would leave. He was too good not to.

Ram deserved someone who wasn’t as messed up as he was and would eventually grow tired of him, anyway.

King tossed his phone back onto his bed without waiting for a response and then returned to the living room where he sat down on the couch next to Bohn. “How’d your talk with Duen go?” he asked as he grabbed the pillow on the couch to cross his arms over and hold tightly.

Bohn looked as though he debated not talking about it for a few seconds before he sighed and smiled at King. He knew that his friend was deflecting from talking about his own thoughts by asking, but he would let it happen, for right then. Bohn planned on circling back around and trying to convince King to just stay home. “Really well, actually. Well - after we both kind of yelled back and forth for a bit,” Bohn finally answered with an almost sheepish smile. “We both talked about things that we needed one another to address and it was just… It was good. I’ve got to work on my jealousy, but Duen is going to work on not pushing me away all the time. He’s not comfortable with public affection, which is cool. We promised we’d talk more when something’s bothering us instead of letting it sit until it becomes a problem.”

“Good, I’m glad.” King nodded his head before he rested it back against the top of the couch. “You told him everything about what you’d been feeling? About how it bothered you to never know what he’s thinking?”

“Mn.” Bohn nodded as he made himself more comfortable on the couch. “All of it. There were apologies from each of us and he kissed me.” Bohn could not keep the smile off of his face as he recalled that moment. He laughed when King reached over with one hand and shoved gently at the side of his face.

“Gross. You’re all in love and whatever.” Despite the comment, King had a smile on his face. He was glad that his friends were getting their personal lives on track. While his own life continued to be a mess, seeing them happy made everything feel less … awful. 

“You know you could j-”

“I’m going to shower,” King interrupted as he tossed the pillow at Bohn’s face and stood up quickly. He didn’t want to have the conversation that he was sure Bohn was going to try to have with him. They’d had it before. They had it every time that King decided he wanted to go out and lose himself for a night. “Do whatever. I’ll be out soon.” King went to go grab a change of clothes from his room, something that was far more suitable than the sleep pants and hoodie he’d been wearing all day, before going to the bathroom. He could hear Bohn once again loudly saying something about them just staying in instead - King effectively shut off the one sided conversation by shutting the bathroom door with a snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Yes. King is setting himself up to make some very dumb choices - at least he's got Bohn trying to talk some sense into him?


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king enjoys a night out - until he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaay. So, there's been a change in rating and adding of tags. Please make note of all of these before you read this chapter. There is a lot of stupid, drunken decisions (and just stupid emotional filled ones). There's also a scene of a drunken hookup that leads to dub-con as King consents but there's a level of disassociation with it and going along with it just because the guy convinces him to after he's said to stop. So please be mindful of that if you read this chapter. Just be safe bbies.
> 
> And use the buddy system if you enjoy going out and partying so that you can stay safe!

After he showered and changed, King cleaned up the bathroom and then made his way back to his bedroom. He looked at his phone on his bed and then walked over to the dresser he put his jewelry on top of so that he could choose which bracelets and rings he wanted to wear that night. It was as he was putting one of the bracelets that he noticed something out of the corner of his eye and he turned to see what it was. The note from Ram he’d crumpled up earlier was still sitting on his floor where he’d tossed it aside. With a small frown, King placed the bracelet back on the dresser and he walked over to the note, picking it up off the floor once he reached it. King slowly smoothed the note back out, reading it over again with a faint smile. He then walked over to his desk where he had some books stacked and opened the cover of the book on top in order to put the note inside of it. “Are you sure you want to go?” Bohn asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway and making King jump. He hit his knee on the desk and swore under his breath before glaring at Bohn who just smiled innocently in response. Bohn had changed into the clothes he brought with him while King had been in the shower.

“Yes, I'm sure,” King replied with a sigh. He reached down to rub his knee a couple of times before moving back to his dresser to finish choosing which bracelet to wear. 

“Wouldn't it be fun to just… Sit here and watch movies? I could have Tee bring drinks.” King shook his head as he fastened on what jewelry he wanted to wear before turning to face Bohn. “Why not?”

“Because I want to go out and have a good time. And I love you all, but dancing with any of you and drinking way too much doesn't exactly sound like something I would want to do.” King flicked his hair back out of his face before he started to walk out of the bedroom. He knew that Bohn followed him even before they both sat down on the couch. He could practically feel Bohn’s eyes drilling holes in the back of his head. King got comfortable before he ever even looked at Bohn. “You've never tried this hard to get me to stay home before.”

Bohn nodded his head a couple of times. It was true. He hadn't. In the past, he'd asked King once if he was sure about going out and then he left it at that when King insisted. It felt different this time. Bohn never really cared for King going out and being careless with his safety, with himself. But this time it was different, even if King hadn't seen it yet. Or maybe he didn't want to. Bohn was fairly sure that was more of the issue - King didn’t want to see that things were different this time around. “There's never been a reason to before,” Bohn started as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “But I think there is this time.”

King didn't seem to listen to Bohn. Instead he grabbed the remote and turned the television on just to have something to do with his hands as he used the remote to flip through the channels. “No idea what you're talking about,” King finally admitted, making Bohn turn and give him a look. “I don't. What reason could I have?”

“I don't know. This one junior with sad eyes that kind of lived here for a while that you're practically dating.”

King scoffed out a laugh at that. “We're not. We're friends. That's it.”

Bohn widened his eyes and pulled a face that stated he absolutely did not believe King, but he nodded his head anyway as he looked forward again. He missed the look that King gave him in response - the one that said that Bohn was being ridiculous. They were just friends and that was all they were going to be. “Are the others meeting us there?” King finally asked after several minutes of a tense silence passed between the two of them. 

Bohn sighed heavily and looked over at King as if he couldn't believe that was what King had to say. He ran his hand through his hair before nodding. “Yeah. They'll be there,” he answered.

The two of them continued to sit around King’s apartment until it was time to go to meet up with Tee, Mek, and Boss. King checked on his phone and saw there were a few messages from Ram but he didn't read them. He put his phone silent and then put it into his pocket as they left. Bohn frowned the entire walk to his car and the drive to where they were going. Every time he glanced over at King, his friend was pointedly staring out the window. “Are you-?” he started to ask.

King cut off the question with a sharp, “Bohn!” That made him fall silent almost immediately. Bohn just nodded once and kept his focus on the road. “I didn't ask for your judgement. I asked you to come with me. I just want one night where I don't have to think or feel or stress about  _ anything _ . I just want to get drunk, and get out of my head and not think about Sunan or Ram or anything else for five minutes so could you please, please just shut up.”

There was another very tense silence after King stopped speaking that was finally broken by Bohn a couple of minutes later with a soft apology. He could almost understand where King was coming from, having had a few of those nights himself. He just was not sure it was the best thing. Not when King’s opinion of himself was already as low as it was. He also had noticed King’s unconscious inclusion of Ram in his reasoning to want to go out. He wanted to point it out, but he was also sure that in doing so, he’d only manage to make King even more irritated. Bohn just did not see anything about the evening turning out well. But King had made up his mind, and at that point all Bohn could do was be there and make sure that King was as safe as possible.

Bohn parked the car in the parking lot and the two of them got out in order to go wait out of the way but near the front door so that they could wait for the other three. As they waited, King pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through Instagram. A notification popped up on his screen that Ram had sent him another message - King stared at it, not fully registering the words that were asking if he was okay or wanted to talk, until the notification went away. His screen went dark soon after that. King sighed and put his phone back into his pocket just before he noticed the other three walking toward him and Bohn. “Was starting to think you three got lost,” King commented.

“Of course not,” replied Tee as he draped an arm over King’s shoulders. Using his other hand, he gestured toward himself and the outfit he was wearing. “We had to make sure we looked good enough. Can’t have you showing us all up. Or me, I guess, since everyone else is already coupled up.” Tee sighed dramatically. He then reached up to ruffle King’s hair despite the protests. “Come on. Let’s go on. First round is on me.”

“I knew I liked you for some reason,” King joked before the two of them started inside. Mek and Boss lingered outside with Bohn for a few moments, the three of them sharing a significant look before they went inside as well.

Though it had been a while since they’d been there, the club was exactly as King remembered it being. The music was loud, there were way more people than he would usually be comfortable with, and everybody seemed to be having a great time. It would be very easy to forget about anything and everything there, which was exactly what King wanted. He and Tee made their way over to the bar to grab some drinks for everyone, while Mek, Boss, and Bohn quickly claimed a table that had just been vacated along the far wall before anyone else could grab it. “Alright! Drinks!” Tee shouted over the music when he and King found them several minutes later. They deposited enough shot glasses for everyone and a couple of bottles - along with a few extra shots that King had and was already downing as he sat down in the booth next to Tee. Tee then poured them each a shot out of the bottle, passing out the glasses. “Here’s to… a night one of us probably won’t remember in the morning.”

“That’s the plan,” King replied, though it went mostly unheard underneath the music, before he drank the shot. Everyone else drank theirs as well, pulling faces at the burn of the alcohol before setting their shot glasses back down on the table.

Tee poured everyone else another shot, which they all took, before he started tapering off. It was a routine by that point. Bohn would drink the most out of him, Tee, and Mek; but, he would still drink less than King so that he was mostly sober. Boss drank a little less than Bohn since he had the next highest tolerance and he could still help keep an eye on any drinks that King got outside the ones they gave him to make sure no one tried anything. Tee drank the next least amount because he often would end up driving Boss and Mek home and didn’t want to risk anything. Mek didn’t often have more than a shot or two, but that was mostly because Mek was tasked with helping Bohn make sure they didn’t lose King in the crowd or he didn’t leave with someone after having told them he only intended to drink and dance without going home with anyone. It was a system that they worked out through trial and error, honestly.

They sat around their table drinking and talking and laughing about things until King felt pleasantly buzzed enough that he wanted to dance. Usually Mek or Tee would go with King out to the dance floor, but with the way things had changed, that time Tee followed after him without any discussion from the others. It took no time at all for King to make his way to the middle of the dance floor and find someone to dance with. The music almost seemed louder there and it made it easy to focus on nothing else but where he was right at that moment. He had no idea who the person was that he was dancing with, which was ideal. There was no connection, no pre-formed thoughts on anything. He could just dance and have fun.

After a couple of songs, King peeled the guy he’d been dancing with off of him and made his way back to the table with Tee so that he could have some more drinks. Mek, Boss, and Bohn each had a glass of something - King wasn’t sure what they’d gotten - that they were drinking as they talked. They were all three smiling and seemed to be having a good time despite the fact they were really there to play babysitter more than anything. “Before you have too much more to drink,” said Mek as he reached out to grab King’s wrist and stop him from taking his third shot since returning to the table, “are you going to leave with Bohn or someone else?”

“I don’t know,” replied King with a shrug of his shoulders. He hadn’t actually decided that far yet. With the buzz of the alcohol in his system it sounded like a good idea, go home with someone and let them help him get out of his head for a longer period of time. It was usually his favorite part about going out. He carefully pulled his wrist out of Mek’s hold so that he didn’t spill any of the alcohol before he drank it. “If I meet someone who makes me want to leave, then I probably will.”

He knew that his friends were only asking because they wanted to make sure they didn’t have to stop him if they noticed him leaving with anyone so that he wasn’t making the decision completely under the influence. He appreciated the concern usually. That evening, though, it just annoyed him because it made him have to pause and think and he just really didn’t want to do that. Every time he did, he found himself thinking about things he really didn’t want to be worrying about. 

They sat around for a while, King and Bohn taking more shots until Bohn stopped to drink whatever it was that was in his glass - King was pretty sure it was a soda. King then ended up back on the dance floor. That time Mek went with him after he and Boss discussed it and decided it was fine. It gave Tee a chance to sit more and get some water for himself. It also helped that Mek was taller and found it easier to keep an eye on King in the chaos that was the dance floor. King forgot that any of his friends were there after a while, honestly.

He got lost in the music playing and the fuzzy feeling from the alcohol and dancing close to someone he never had to see again. He could not even say the number of different people he danced with until he finally stayed with the same guy for several songs. He was tall - taller than King but not quite as tall as Sunan - and his hands remained firmly on King’s hips. King wasn’t even entirely sure when he ended up with the guy pressed firmly against his back but he didn’t fight it, didn’t want to. It was too hot in the middle of the dance floor, but he was too fuzzy headed to really think anything of it or how easy it was for him to agree to leave with the guy.

King didn’t see Mek anymore, so he sent out a text to Bohn as he let the guy bodily lead him toward the exit that told Bohn he was leaving and would message later. Bohn replied with several frowning emojis but King ignored that as he exited the club. The guy’s hands didn’t leave his hips but he placed several open mouthed kisses along the side of his neck. King’s walking was unsteady but the guy’s hands on his hips helped keep him from falling over. “Your place,” King told him. He had absolutely no intention of bringing some random guy into his own apartment. He had to quickly push away the thought that he had barely known Ram when he’d brought him into his apartment for the first time, which wasn’t something he ever did. His apartment was a safe place and-

“You okay?” the guy asked suddenly, making King realize he’d ended up far too caught up in his swirling thoughts and actually hadn’t pushed them aside like he’d intended. The guy had stepped away from him and was watching him warily.

King shook off the wayward thoughts and he smiled at the guy, drawing him closer by the belt loops of his jeans. “Of course,” he insisted. “Your place is…?”

“Close. I can drive.”

King hummed but drew the guy in closer instead of letting him lead him to the car. He pulled the guy into a kiss after reaching up with one hand to place on the back of his neck and pull him in. If he was going to do this, he needed to get himself to a point actually being interested in the guy. He could clearly tell that the guy was interested, he just needed to catch up. King didn’t particularly care for the way that the guy kissed - too much teeth and not as skilled with his tongue as the guy probably thought he was - but it was easy to fall into the kiss, to focus on directing it to something he found more pleasurable. The guy wasn’t usually the type of guy he’d go home with. His type tended to be someone who was obviously more athletic, broad shouldered and with the kind of easy smirk that made him look like he could’ve been a celebrity. This guy was more on the slender side, but he was tall and cute and his hands were nice. While King thought he could be a better kisser, he liked the guy’s hands on his hips, the way that one of them moved to the small of his back underneath his shirt and pressed him closer.

By the time they made their way to the guy’s car, King was breathless and far more interested in where things were going. The drive to the guy’s place really didn’t take more than five minutes, which King was thankful for. It didn’t give him enough time to think too much or decide that he wasn’t interested anymore. They got out of the car and King brushed his hair back out of his face before turning to look at the guy with a small smirk and a raise of his brows. “Are you going to lead the way or not?” he asked as he took a step toward the building they were parked outside of.

The guy walked over to him and his hands settled on King’s waist once again, using the grip to lead King backward toward the building. King stumbled a few times and they both laughed as they made their way to the elevator. As they waited for it, the guy’s hands wandered from King’s hips and he ducked his head to kiss King again once he made sure they were alone. King sighed into the kiss - but it was a short sound, one that was almost more irritated than anything. He really didn’t care for the way the man kissed him. King turned his head to break the kiss and the guy used it as an invitation to start kissing along his neck. The elevator doors opened and King dragged the guy into it. “Which floor?” he asked. The guy let go of King with one hand to press the correct floor before he focused on King once again.

One of his hands was underneath King’s shirt, running along his side and gripping tightly in a way that almost reminded him of Sunan. For a moment, King almost shoved him away when he realized, but he pulled the guy closer instead. The other hand joined the first underneath his shirt, at the small of his back with the guy’s fingers pressing into his skin to pull him flush against the guy’s front. King wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself and the growing feeling of unease the more the guy kissed his neck and touched his skin. It felt… off, wrong somehow. “I’m Jay, by the way,” the guy introduced himself as the elevator door opened on the correct floor.

“I really don’t care,” replied King as he pushed Jay out of the elevator, almost hesitating in following after. Jay didn’t seem to mind the lack of introduction on King’s part. He simply continued to lead King down the hall toward his apartment.

When they reached it, Jay pushed King inside and bracketed him against the wall with one hand on either side of his head while kissing him again. King lifted a hand to Jay’s shoulder, fingers gripping the material of his shirt there - he struggled with the sudden urge to shove Jay away when he felt one of Jay’s arms move so that he could start touching again while lifting King’s shirt up and out of the way. He used the hold on Jay’s shirt to tug Jay closer, inhaling sharply into the kiss when Jay’s thigh pressed between his own. King let go of Jay’s shirt to lift his arms and let Jay pull off the shirt he’d been wearing. Ignoring the voice in his head that told him every touch was wrong, that every kiss didn’t feel right, that the arms of the guy he was pressing himself close to didn’t hold him the right way.

King pushed Jay away from him but reached down to grab the hem of Jay’s shirt so that he could tug it off and drop it aside. “Bed?” he asked, ignoring the way that his own voice didn’t sound steady. His heavy breathing was only due to the overzealous kissing and the anticipation of where things were leading to - not from the slowly crushing feel of panic that tightened around his throat as he realized suddenly that he really didn’t want to do this.

Jay led him toward the bedroom, directing King to walk in front of him and leading him forward with a hand on his back. King almost wanted to flinch away from the touch, but he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. Once they reached the bedroom, King turned back around to face Jay. He once again pulled Jay close to him so that he could kiss him, leading the kiss that time so he didn’t have to deal with the thoughts about how Jay was truly a horrible kisser. Or maybe it was less that Jay was a bad kisser and more that Jay wasn’t the person he w- King quickly shoved aside that thought by pulling Jay onto the bed with him. He lost track of what Jay was doing until he felt Jay’s hands fumbling with the clasp of his jeans. It made King break the kiss with a gasp. “Wait, wait, stop,” he insisted as he pushed on Jay’s shoulders.

Jay paused but kept kneeling over him with his hands still on the clasp of King’s jeans. “What?” Jay asked him with a slightly furrowed brow. “I’ve got condoms. Don’t worry.”

“That’s not…” King wasn’t concerned about that. Well, he was to an extent. It was good to know because without them, things would have gotten derailed very quickly; but that wasn’t why he’d told Jay to stop. King leaned up onto his elbows with a shake of his head. “I can’t do this.”

Jay let go of his jeans in order to reach up and hold King’s face in either hand, tilting his head up. “Sure you can,” he insisted as he ducked down to kiss King again. “It’s why you came here, isn’t it?”

King wasn’t sure he could argue against that, but he was starting to get a headache and the fuzzy feeling of the alcohol was fading away to something far less pleasant. Or maybe that was more to do with the fact that he really didn’t want to be there anymore. Even less so when he heard some of Jay’s mumbled words as he broke the kiss, speaking them along King’s jawline as he reached down between them to the clasp of his jeans again. King closed his eyes and tried to keep himself from blurring the lines of what was happening and what had happened in the past. It was all too familiar; soft coaxing words and promises of making it feel good, mixed with the not so subtle reminder that he had come there on his own fully aware of what the intention was. He had come there to end up in Jay’s bed, and shouldn’t he just see it through?

King’s head hurt and he was tired and he didn’t want to be there anymore but he also didn’t fight it when Jay started to tug off his jeans. He nodded his head when Jay looked at him - it was easier than arguing and it was really all he could do as his head spun and his chest tightened and he just wanted everything to be over. It was a feeling he was far too familiar with. Which was why it was very easy for him to just close his eyes and fumble along with Jay’s lead. 

Afterward, King was not able to really remember what happened, what was said or done. He had managed to get out of his head like he’d wanted, just not in a way he’d anticipated or planned on. He felt worse than he had earlier and didn’t really waste any time in getting up and putting his clothes back on so that he could leave. Jay didn’t really seem bothered that King was in a rush to leave and didn’t even attempt to see him out. King felt almost numb as he left the building and called a taxi that could come and take him home. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what happened or how things spiraled out of control like they had. He’d wanted to go out and have fun and hook up with someone that he had no attachment to, no reason to know their name or anything. Something went wrong somewhere, though, and King just felt… worse. He felt gross and horrible in ways he hadn’t in a very long time; not since he’d ditched Sunan for good. Was it because Jay had been more like Sunan than he’d anticipated? Or did it have more to do with the fact that the entire night, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about how there was really only one person he wanted to be that close to.

And it was the one person he couldn’t have.

King gave his address to the taxi driver once it finally showed up and he spent the drive resting his head against the window with his eyes closed. It was uncomfortable and he winced every time the car’s movement caused him to bump his head against the glass, but he didn’t bother sitting up straight. He just wanted to go home, take a million hot showers, and probably cry until he fell asleep while trying to figure out just when things had gotten out of his control. He still wasn’t entirely sure the answer to that question - maybe he hadn’t ever been in control. King hated to think that maybe Bohn was right and he should have just stayed home. With as awful as he felt right then, though, it was impossible to think anything else.

He didn’t really pay much mind as he made his way toward his apartment on reflex more than really seeing what he was doing. But he paused when he realized that down the hallway, there was someone standing outside his door. King tensed and was almost ashamed to admit that he considered running away when he realized that it was Ram standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. Before King could decide whether to walk forward or backward, Ram glanced in his direction and then stood up straight from where he’d been leaning against the wall.

King was highly aware of the fact that he looked like a mess - his hair was disheveled and his clothes were a mess and there were probably bruises forming from that idiot focusing on his neck so much. He almost felt guilty about it, even though he knew he had no reason to. He and Ram weren’t anything more than friends and he could do whatever with whoever. Just like Ram could. There was no reason for him to feel bad about his decisions. Except that he did as the two of them stood there for several long moments without saying anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for many things.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after king's night out didn't end up the way he planned, nothing else really seems to follow his plan, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Here we get a bit of comfort in a bunch of hurt so. You're welcome?

King and Ram continued to stand in the hallway. Neither one of them said anything. King wasn’t even sure how much time had passed before he took in a deep breath and continued walking to his doorway. He wanted to close his eyes so that he didn’t have to see Ram, see the look on his face. It only made King feel worse. He didn’t like the creeping feeling of guilt and disgust at his own actions. “P’King,” Ram said as King walked right by him.

King didn’t stop, didn’t look at him. He couldn’t bring himself to see the way that Ram’s brows were furrowed together in worry like he somehow knew they were. Instead he fumbled with taking his key out of his pocket so that he could unlock the door. He couldn’t seem to find the lock on the door and struggled to get the key into the lock, which only made him even more frustrated and was his hand shaking or the apartment? He was about to give up and just run off to Bohn’s apartment when Ram’s hand wrapped around his, directing him to get the key into the lock. Ram didn’t let go once the key was in the lock, but instead turned their hands so that the door unlocked before gently pulling on King’s hand to remove the key while using his other hand to open the door. King stood there for a few seconds, looking at their hands where Ram’s was wrapped around his own. Then King quickly tugged his hand from Ram’s grip and pushed his way into his apartment while turning to face Ram out in the hall.

He didn’t have the time or patience to deal with Ram, with anyone. He was tired and miserable and just wanted to sleep. He didn’t need someone looking at him like they cared. He definitely didn’t need Ram or his warm hands or comforting presence. That was it. That was what he was feeling. He was annoyed. Maybe angry. That was all he felt - because that was easier than admitting that seeing Ram standing there shook him to the core. “Go home, Ning,” he insisted. He started to shut the door, but before he could, Ram stepped into the apartment. It made King stumble backward a step as his brow furrowed. “What are you doing?”

Ram’s expression wasn’t one that King could read. It made him nervous - no, it made him angry. He didn’t have time to try to figure out what Ram was thinking. It was ridiculous. It was late and he just - he didn’t have time for any of it. “P’King,” Ram tried again, but King moved farther into the apartment.

“Go home, Ning,” he insisted once more as he made a beeline toward his bedroom to grab the first change of clothes he could find. He missed the way that Ram looked around the apartment slowly in response to being told to go home, and the way that Ram had started staring after him again due to him walking off so quickly. When he came back out of his bedroom, Ram was still in the apartment. King pointed toward the front door. “I mean it. Go home.” He didn’t wait for Ram’s response before he went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door after him.

The shower that King took was far too warm. It left his skin red and blotchy after only a couple of moments under the spray. It felt better than the other feelings that had crept into his skin. He could no longer feel the lingering sensation hands on him, or the brush of lips that he didn’t care for. The sound of the water around him drowned out the phantom voices that sounded in his ear - a mix of voices saying deceptively pretty things that ultimately left him feeling powerless and small in a way that he didn’t like.

As he got out of the shower and got dressed in the clothes he grabbed, he became increasingly aware that he should call Bohn. He didn't want to, but he was sure that he would feel worse in the morning if he didn't. He knew that Bohn was only going to end up telling him “I told you so”, but maybe he needed to hear it. King grabbed his cell phone from off the counter and made his way out of the bathroom to go to the kitchen and get some water while he called Bohn. He didn't make it to the kitchen before realizing that Ram was still there. He was still there and King just stared at him for several long seconds, trying to figure out if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. “What are you doing?” King asked, hoping that his voice sounded steadier than he thought it did.

Ram didn’t answer - he just gave him a look that made King’s chest clench painfully. There was so much in his eyes and it was too much for King to handle right then. The concern made him feel ill, like he could be sick right there and then. It made his skin crawl and that guilt to come back like a kick to the stomach. He didn’t want Ram’s concern, or that feeling he couldn’t quite describe on Ram’s face but was something akin to caring. It was a strong emotion, whatever it was, and almost made King breathless. He didn’t want it. He couldn’t- Ram shouldn’t be there. Not when he would end up leaving, not when he could hurt King far more than anything he felt right at that moment. It was  _ too much _ and before King really knew what he was doing, he had dropped his phone and rushed over to push at Ram’s shoulders to knock him back toward the door. “Get out of here!” King insisted as he pushed at Ram’s shoulders again. Ram remained steady for the most part - he stumbled back a step but just reached up to grab a hold of King’s wrists making King’s hands stay on his shoulders. King bunched his fists up on top of Ram’s shoulders, fingers clutching the material of his shirt as he shoved again. It made both of them stumble backward. “Why are you even  _ here _ ?” King’s voice shook as he asked the question.

Ram still didn’t answer. He let go of King’s wrists and reached out to wrap both arms around King’s middle, drawing him close and into a tight hug. King struggled in the hold, trying to break away or get Ram to stop as he mumbled, “Don’t.” It was a pathetic argument, even in his own ears, that sounded broken and unsteady instead of sure. King gave one more attempt at pushing Ram away, but Ram just held him tighter. As quickly as he’d started pushing Ram way, all the fight left him and King practically collapsed into Ram’s hold. The sudden shift in weight caused Ram to stumble back again and he found himself with his back to one of the walls. He still didn’t let King go. He shifted his hold just enough that King’s arms ended up being pinned against his sides and King simply stood there with his face pressed against Ram’s shoulders as he breathed shakily and fought back the growing urge to cry.

Slowly, King lifted his hands to Ram’s sides and he grabbed onto Ram’s shirt, fingers bunching into the material once again while using it to pull Ram even closer to him. If it was not for the fact that Ram’s shirt was growing damp underneath where his face was pressed against it, King wouldn’t have even realized that he’d started crying. King tensed for a few seconds when he felt Ram lift one hand to run over his hair at the top of his head in a repeated, soothing manner. Ram’s other arm remained firmly around his waist, keeping King held tightly. They stood there just holding onto one another until King stopped shaking and he did not feel as though he had any tears left. King squeezed his eyes shut tightly and then inhaled sharply through his nose when he felt Ram suddenly pick him up off the floor. With as close as they were, King couldn’t do much else except to let him and go with it. He moved his arms so that he wrapped them around Ram’s shoulders. Ram then carried him the short distance across the room over to where the couch was. He paused for several seconds, trying to decide the best way to continue, before he carefully sat down on the couch.

King hadn’t let go of him and Ram didn’t attempt to try, so they ended up with King sitting on Ram while clinging to him, a knee on either side of Ram’s hips. Ram once again reached up to put his hand on King’s head, smoothing over the dark strands as the other arm stayed wrapped firmly around his waist. King kept his arms around Ram’s neck, turning his face to hide it in the crook where his shoulder met his neck. He clenched and unclenched his fists a few times, debating on just getting up and walking away for only a split second - he was too tired for that and felt as though he might just pass out there in Ram’s arms.

A while later, Ram carefully shifted them over onto their sides and they both moved so that they could lay there in a more comfortable position. King let go of Ram, but only to slip his arms underneath Ram’s and hold him tightly around the middle. A part of him wanted to complain, to tell Ram to just leave again - but he was too exhausted to try. So he just lay there until he finally fell asleep with his mind spinning far too much and his chest feeling like it was on fire. But Ram’s arms were still around him, holding him close but carefully at the same time, like he might break if he held on too hard. It almost made King start crying again - he didn’t deserve that kind of consideration and it hurt that Ram gave it.

When he finally woke up the next morning, King found that he was in his bed. He hurt  _ everywhere _ \- but his head was the worst. It felt like someone was repeatedly hitting him with a hammer, or maybe that he’d hit his head on a rock again. King groaned as he sat up in his bed and rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. He could hear someone moving around in the main part of the apartment, and it made King sigh as he closed his eyes. He almost wanted to just climb underneath his blanket and hide away, but he needed to face Ram eventually. With a sigh he started to climb out of the bed, wincing as he went. He paused when he was half-way standing because he noticed a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers sitting on the bedside table. King sighed again and stood up straight before opening the painkillers and grabbing a couple of the pills to take with the water. Then he made his way to the other room and toward the kitchen where he heard movement.

King slowly stopped walking when he realized that the person in his kitchen wasn’t Ram. It was Bohn. Bohn was standing there cooking while still wearing his own pajama pants and a hoodie, looking as though he had just rolled out of bed and come over there. It made King’s breath still in his chest for a few seconds. He didn't deserve his friends. King just stood there staring until Bohn realized that he was there, not able to bring himself to say anything. “How are you feeling?” Bohn asked as he faced King a little more.

He opened his mouth to reply, but didn’t get out any words. He just closed his mouth again and Bohn turned off the burner on the stove before he moved the pan he was cooking with onto one of the unused burners. Bohn was across the room before King could really register it, and then he was being pulled into a hug. King immediately wrapped his arms around Bohn and started crying again. He hated it. He hated crying. He hated crying in front of other people - but it was Bohn. Bohn was the one who had seen him at his lowest. Bohn was there through the worst days. Bohn had taken one look at King and knew just how completely horrible he felt. “I’m sorry,” King mumbled, his words shaking along with his shoulders as he tried to control his tears.

Bohn just held him tighter and let him cry until he stopped on his own. When King stopped crying, he stepped away and bunched up his sleeve to wipe away the residual tears on his face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” King answered with a shake of his head - they both knew he would end up talking about it anyway. His voice was scratchy and rough, and his throat still felt painfully tight. His eyes were irritated and puffy from all the crying he'd done and he was sure that he looked far worse than he had the night before. King glanced over at the couch and crossed his arms over his middle. “When did you get here?”

“Not that long ago.” Bohn led King over to the couch and sat down on it. He pulled King down next to him, and King leaned against his side. “That nong of yours called me on your phone.” Bohn gestured to King’s cell phone, which was sitting on the coffee table. “He said that you needed me, so I came over and he went home for now.” King nodded his head a little. He didn't blame Ram for not staying. “He looked like he didn't sleep at all last night - too busy worrying after you.”

“He shouldn't.”

“Yeah, well. He does.” Bohn lifted his shoulders in a shrug when King looked over at him. It was the truth in the matter, after all, and he felt no need in lying about it. “I don't think he really wanted to leave.” King made a non-committal hum in response. He was not sure if he agreed with that thought. Honestly, he was surprised Ram stayed at all. He should have left - he should have left the moment he'd seen King in the hallway looking like he had. King wasn't sure what it meant that he'd stayed. Bohn startled King out of his thoughts by wrapping an arm over his shoulders and hugging him in closer to his side. King got comfortable and rested his head on Bohn’s shoulder. “So. What happened? When Mek came back to the table he seemed pretty sure you were okay and going to leave with that guy.”

King nodded his head without lifting it, keeping his gaze on the far wall opposite him. “He was right. I was fine and I went home with the guy,” he answered slowly, pausing to clear his throat half way through. “Then I came back home and Ram was waiting - I don’t…” King trailed off his words with a release of a heavy breath. “I don’t know why he was here.”

“Yes, you do.” Bohn tightened his arm around King for a few seconds. “He cares about you.”

“He shouldn’t. I mean… I’m-”   
  


“There’s nothing wrong with you.” Bohn frowned as he rested his head on top of King’s. “Sunan is an asshole and an idiot. More importantly, he’s wrong and one of these days you’re going to realize that I’m not just saying that because we’re friends.”

King nodded his head again as he lifted his hands and started to play with the cuffs of the hoodie he was wearing. He hadn’t realized that he was wearing one again. It was one that he was pretty sure Tee had bought him a while back. It wasn’t his favorite, but he loved it because it was a gift from a friend. He found comfort in it, even if it was a bit smaller than he would have picked out for himself. “Jay, he’s the guy from last night,” King finally said after they sat there in silence for several minutes. He didn’t lift his head or try to look at Bohn. He was glad when Bohn didn’t move, either. It was easier to talk about when Bohn wasn’t looking at him. 

“Did he hurt you? I-”

“No, Ai’Bohn. No.” King shook his head with a half-hearted laugh. It was almost on the bitter side, honestly. “I mean I don’t think he fully knew what he was doing but I kind of blocked everything out. I wasn’t really into it.” Bohn scowled and hugged King tightly again. He hated how familiar that last commented sounded. “But it’s whatever. I just went along with it and got out of there. I was drunk and I just wanted to go home.”

Bohn sighed inaudibly as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. He felt guilty for having let King leave. He knew that it would turn out to be a bad idea. He had known that there was no way anything good would come of the whole thing. Yet, he still just let King go. He knew, though, that King would have gone anyway - even if he’d tried to stop him. King was stubborn in the worst way sometimes. “You should have called me. I would have come gotten you.”

“I know. I just- I didn’t want any of you to see me like that.” Bohn hummed in understanding at King’s reasoning. He didn’t agree with it, but there was no point in arguing. It was in the past. 

“I’m sure the bruises on your neck look worse today.” King winced at Bohn’s comment but he really couldn’t argue against it, either. “Are you sure you didn’t go home with a vampire?”

King laughed at the comment as well as he could right then. It was a short, almost bitter laugh as he reached up with one hand to the side of his neck he knew that Jay had been focused on. He shuddered and found that he wanted to go take another too hot shower to rid himself of the lingering feeling again. “You were right. I shouldn’t have gone out. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You weren’t.” The comment made King wince once again, but Bohn didn’t apologize. They both had moved past the point of Bohn apologizing every time his statement of the truth made King react that way. It wasn’t anything that King didn’t know already, it just wasn’t easy to hear lain out so plainly. “Are you ready to talk about why?” King shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed for several seconds, taking a deep breath as he did so. Bohn considered for a moment pushing King to talk about it anyway. He couldn’t bring himself to do so, though. King was obviously exhausted and felt horrible for more than one reason. They could talk more about it later. For right then, Bohn was just going to be there for his friend and do what he could to help him feel better - even if that meant just lazing about all day holding onto him and letting him talk about whatever he needed to on his own time.

Eventually Bohn let go of King and got him to lay down on the couch with something relaxing playing on the television so that Bohn could resume cooking. Well, start over because he had to toss what he didn’t finish earlier. King almost wanted to help, but he stayed on the couch, laying curled up on his side, instead. He wasn’t really hungry, but he knew that Bohn was not above forcing him to eat. So he would at least eat something to keep Bohn placated. “If Ram comes back, should I send him away?” Bohn asked once they were seated at the table with the food he made. King seemed to think about it for a few seconds before nodding his head in answer as he poked at the food. Bohn nodded in response and took a bite of his own food before reaching over and grabbing King’s wrist in order to direct him to actually eat something instead of just poke at it. King sent him a half-hearted glare in response, but ate the bite of food, anyway. Bohn patted the top of King’s head before returning to his own food. “You know, even if I do that…” King looked over at Bohn with a slightly furrowed brow, waiting for Bohn to continue the thought. “I don’t think he’s really going anywhere.”

King let out a heavy sigh at that as he focused on his plate. The fact that he was sure Bohn was right made his chest tighten uncomfortably. It was a horrible thought, one he wanted to just get rid of. At the same time, there was something comforting in it. Despite what had happened, what he’d done and said, they were both aware that even if Ram left the apartment building, he wasn’t  _ leaving _ . He would still be there for King when he was ready and that… that was almost too much for King to handle. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and grabbed his water so that he could take a drink of it. He didn’t want to agree with Bohn, didn’t want to say anything that might give away those thoughts he shouldn’t have been having - like how he might want Ram to stay.

Especially when he knew in the end it would be for nothing. That wasn’t how things worked, wasn’t how his life was going to end up. He knew that. He wasn’t - It just wasn’t a thing. King slowly sat his glass back down and he straightened up in his chair some when he grabbed his fork so that he could continue eating. Without looking at Bohn, he shrugged one of his shoulders and said, “He will eventually.”


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king is most definitely not avoiding ram, except that he is and everyone knows it - even if they don't know why. sunan shows up again, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. Sorry this chapter has taken me so long to get to. Things got a bit crazy with work and school, then I got caught up in writing some prompts on tumblr and yea. ANYWAY. Here's an update. I hope you guys like it.

Monday morning, Ram reluctantly walked next to Duen, who was rambling on about something that Ram was only half way listening to. He was slightly distracted by his phone, checking it every few minutes. His last message to King remained unread - it made him frown as he put his phone back into his pocket. It was then that Ram realized that he was following Duen toward the table that King and the rest of his friends occupied in the mornings before class started. He paused for a second, but kept walking when Duen grabbed his elbow and mumbled for him to come on. King wasn’t at the table, but he was the only one who seemed to be absent. Tee, Bohn, Mek, and Boss seemed to be talking quietly among themselves. Before Ram and Duen reached the table, King suddenly appeared behind Mek. He reached around Mek to place a bunch of different snacks on the table before wrapping his arms around Mek’s shoulders, hugging him tightly while swaying side to side a couple of times while Mek looked up at him and smiled. King returned the smile and Mek lowered his head again as King said, “Brought snacks for everyone. I- Oh. Duen, Ning. I didn’t realize you were joining us.”

Bohn turned in his seat to look at Duen, who gave a small smile with a wave as the elder students looked over at him and Ram. “Bohn said it was okay. Is it?” he asked.

“Mn. Of course it is. Sit down.” King nodded his head and smiled. He continued to drape himself over Mek’s back. Mek didn’t seem to complain at all. He just rested a hand on King’s forearm with a gentle squeeze. Boss’s only complaint was the fact that he wasn’t getting a hug too, which he made very loudly as Duen and Ram sat on the same side of the table as Bohn. Ram seemed to attempt to make eye contact with King, who was too busy talking with Mek and Boss or grabbing one of the bags of chips or looking anywhere else but at Ram.

Nobody else seemed to notice, except Bohn, though he was more focused on his conversation with Duen than anything. Well, technically he was talking to Duen and Ram - but Ram’s responses were either a nod or a shake of his head, or Duen answering for him. He could not find a way to get King’s attention enough to pull him into their conversation. He kept talking with Tee, Mek, and Boss instead. Ram kept glancing up at King, but otherwise seemed to stay fairly focused on the conversation he was a part of. Bohn didn’t know the guy well enough to understand what the look on his face meant. “Ai’Boss, I’m gonna steal your boyfriend for a bit,” King said after a few minutes. He unwrapped his arms from around Mek’s shoulders to grab his arm and tug him up from the table. “I promise you’ll get him back later.”

Boss gave a vague response as Mek grabbed his bag, but King and Mek walked off with King dragging him along before any real response could be made. Bohn, Tee, and Boss watched the two of them for several moments, and as soon as they knew the two were out of earshot, Boss and Tee looked to Bohn as Boss said, “Is he back to Code Green already?”

“No, I’d say more of an orange-y yellow,” replied Bohn with a frown. He spoke over Duen’s attempt at asking what Boss was talking about - not on purpose, simply because he had momentarily forgotten that Duen and Ram were even there. “This weekend was rough. Really rough. Almost as bad as when-” Bohn quickly cut himself off, then, remembering that they weren't alone. He looked over at Duen (who looked incredibly confused) and Ram (who looked incredibly worried). “We should talk about this later.”

“Why?” asked Duen as he looked between Bohn and the other side of the table that Boss and Tee occupied. “What's going on?”

“Stuff. Sorry, Duen. But King’s business isn't yours.” He'd already said far too much in front of them. Ram already knew what he was talking about, at least, stop Bohn didn't feel so bad about that. As much as Bohn didn't like to keep things from Duen, he knew he had no right to go talking about King’s issues to someone. It was King’s decision who knew what. Bohn knew King wouldn't appreciate Duen hearing anything more than what he'd heard already. 

“If something is wrong, I want to help.”

“I know, and it is appreciated. Things are just… complicated.” Duen nodded slowly at Bohn’s words. His brow was furrowed and he seemed to almost want to argue, but he didn't. He also didn't pull away when Bohn held his hand underneath the table. Duen gently squeezed his hand, feeling like it was something that Bohn needed right then.

The five of them sat around talking (Ram input a couple of things but mostly seemed lost in thought - he would glance off in the direction that Mek and King had gone off to every so often) until they had to head to classes. When Tee, Boss, and Bohn reached their first class, Mek and King were already in their seats. They were talking quietly and King laughed at something that Mek said. Bohn felt a little better seeing King acting more like himself that day, but he still worried it was mostly a front. He'd stayed with King all weekend. Sunday wasn't much better than Saturday, but at least he'd gotten King to leave the apartment for a little while on Sunday. They hadn't gone far, just to pick up some supplies before returning to the apartment; but, Bohn counted it as a win. 

The rest of the day went fairly normal. They all went to classes, hung around together after, and then King left with Tee to go do something - Bohn missed what the excuse was but he didn't miss the fact that it happened as Duen and Ram started to approach the table where they were hanging out. Ram sent King a couple more messages as he sat around with Duen and the others, all of which got ignored. Bohn frowned and sighed inaudibly. He couldn’t force King to respond to Ram, but he did plan on talking to him about it at least. 

While wandering around with Tee, King let out a heavy breath when he realized that it had been a while and Ram hadn’t tried to reach out again. It was a good thing - King told himself that several times as he tried to ignore the nagging feeling of something being wrong about it. It was the way that things were supposed to be. It would make things easier in the long run because eventually Ram wouldn’t be there anyway. Still, a part of him didn’t like the fact that Ram had stopped. It made him feel… Well, he wasn’t sure how to explain it, but he didn’t like it. He could not let himself worry about that, though, because it was for the best. 

Tee and King eventually made their way back to King’s apartment, after King promised him food for having gone with him and placated him for the evening. When they got to the building, they found Bohn waiting outside the building. He was leaning lazily against the side of the building near the entrance as he seemed to be messaging someone - probably Duen. He looked up when he heard footsteps in his direction and he put up his phone when he saw it was King and Tee. Then he pushed himself away from the wall and waited for them so that the three of them could go inside together. “Where did you guys run off to?” Bohn asked.

“Just around,” replied King with a shrug of his shoulders. “Been a bit since we’ve spent time just the two of us, so I wanted to change that.” He smiled at Bohn and ran his fingers through his hair to push the strands back as they continued toward his apartment.

“And avoided that nong of yours.”

King laughed awkwardly at the comment. “I’m not avoiding anyone. I talked to him earlier.”

Bohn nodded his head, but his brows were lifted and his expression clearly stated that he didn’t believe King’s statement at all. “You said a sentence and then ran off shortly after.”

“I needed to talk to Mek and didn’t feel like having an audience.” King huffed out a breath, though there was something that made Bohn question whether or not King believed his own explanation. 

“Wait, what am I missing? Why are you avoiding Ram?” Tee asked as he followed behind the other two. “I thought you were friends.”

“We are. It’s- I’m not- Just drop it, okay?” King sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. Then he shook his head as the three of them approached his door. He missed the look that Tee and Bohn shared with one another.

The rest of the evening was rather tense and quiet. The three of them hung out in King’s apartment, but none of them said too much. Bohn kept stealing glances at King, trying to get a read on his mindset or what he was feeling. He didn’t get a clear idea by the time he and Tee left for the night. King locked the front door after they left and then spent some time tidying up around the apartment - not that there was much to do. He never let it get overly messy. Then he took a shower before working on the homework he had. It was an easy distraction, but he’d rather focus on facts and figures than anything else. When he was finished with his homework, it was all too easy for him to crawl into bed and just fall asleep.

He didn’t sleep too well, and there were a couple of nightmares that he could remember when he woke up the next morning. King didn’t want to dwell on it, though, and did what he could to push it out of his mind before he headed to campus. He didn’t need to worry about that idiot from the club or Sunan or… Ram. King slowly stopped walking on his way to the courtyard he and his friends favored when he saw Ram sitting at one of the tables along the way. He had his phone in his hands and seemed to be fiddling with it, as if he was trying to decide what to do. The look on his face was undoubtedly sad - King had seen it far too many times for his liking. He almost wanted to go over and ask what was wrong, to try to help. That would just confuse things even more, though. He couldn’t do that to Ram, to himself. After a moment of hesitation, King turned around and started to walk in the opposite direction. He would find a different path to take.

King did not make it very far before there was a hand wrapping around his arm just above his elbow, making him stop and look back to see Ram standing there with that saddened expression still on his face. It made King give a half-hearted attempt at pulling away, feeling as though he was the reason for that look in Ram’s eyes. The thought made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to hurt anybody, least of all Ram. “Don’t look at me like that,” King said before he could convince himself to not say anything at all.

“You’re avoiding me,” replied Ram calmly. There was no doubt in the statement, not a hint of a question. It made King want to wince. He couldn’t lie to Ram, couldn’t tell him that he wasn’t. Maybe he could lie to the others, to himself, but lying to Ram was not that simple. King looked away instead of responding, focusing on something in the distance so he didn’t have to keep looking at Ram’s face. “Why?”

“Please, just…” King sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds, then he looked back at Ram. “I have to go to class.” He still had time before his first class. Ram knew that, too. 

Ram hesitated for a few seconds, but then he let go of King’s arm. Neither one of them moved to leave. “P’King-”

“Ai’Ning, you should go find your friends. I’m sure they’re looking for you.” King gave Ram a smile - it was closed mouthed and tight, polite in a way that was meant to try to hide the strong negative feelings that King was wrestling with. Ram kept his eyes locked on King’s, shifting over slightly when King attempted to look away, and he slowly shook his head in response. “Why? Why do you keep doing this? Why can’t you just…?”

King trailed off his words when he realized that suddenly he was being handed something. He had been too busy speaking to realize at first that Ram had opened his backpack and pulled out a small potted plant that he’d then put into King’s hand. King blinked a few times as he looked at it - it was one that he had a photo of on his wall but didn’t have in his collection yet. King looked back and forth from it to Ram several times before focusing on the plant again.

It didn’t mean anything - it was just a plant. In the same breath, it felt as though it meant a lot. It said things, things that almost made King want to drop it and run away. He couldn’t  _ do this _ . When he finally looked up again, King was alone. It made him give a short, soft laugh of disbelief. He was not sure what to do with himself, with the situation. King stood there a few moments longer before he continued walking toward where his first class was. There was still quite a while before the class, but if the room was unlocked it would give him a place to sit and think without anyone interrupting until the class began as it was the first one of the day in that room. He was glad to find that the room was unlocked and he went inside, walking to his seat near the back of the room. King placed the plant on the table and sat down before he crossed his arms on top of the table. Then he rested his chin on his arms. He sat like that even once he noticed a couple of his classmates starting to enter the room.

It wasn’t until he glanced at the doorway and saw Bohn walking his direction followed by the other three that King sat up straight. He took his bag off of the seat next to him and placed it on top of the table as well. “What’s with the plant?” asked Boss as he passed King to sit at the table behind him with Tee and Mek. Bohn shifted past King to get to his seat on the side farther away from the aisle and nearer the window. 

“I got it today,” was the only explanation that King offered. They didn’t need to know where he got it from. The small smile that Bohn attempted to hide by looking away when King looked over at him made King realize that Bohn, at least, had some idea of where it had come from. “I don’t know what to do.” King’s voice was small, soft and quiet to the point that Bohn almost didn’t even hear him.

It made Bohn frown a little as he shifted in his seat enough to sit on the edge of it, closer to King. “Maybe start with not pushing him away,” Bohn suggested, keeping his voice just as quiet so that their classmates didn’t hear him. King frowned slightly as he ran a hand through his hair. “You were there for him, right? Would it be so hard to let him be there for you?”

“But-”

“Good morning class,” their teacher said as she entered the room, interrupting what it was that King was going to say.

Bohn sent King a look that let him know that the conversation wasn’t over; at the same time, Bohn wasn’t sure if he would be able to get King to talk about it again. King was distracted throughout the lesson, barely paying attention. Bohn looked back when he felt a tap on his shoulder and Tee pointed to King’s back with the pencil in his hand. He shrugged in response, really not sure what to tell any of them about what was going on. Tee nodded in understanding and made sure to take extra detailed notes for later, in case King ended up needing them. When the class was dismissed, everyone gathered their things and filed out of the classroom in order to head to the next one. “I’ll meet up with you guys later,” King suddenly said when they were about half-way to the classroom.

“Huh? What are you-?” Boss started to ask, but he cut off when Mek nudged him in the side with an elbow.

King waved at them with his free hand but didn’t give any more of an explanation before he walked off. He then went to go seek out Ram, hoping that he was loitering around somewhere and not in a class. Luck did not seem to be on his side, however. He didn’t run into Ram anywhere. With a frown, he looked at the plant in his hand - he’d been looking for Ram with the intention of returning it. He didn’t want - no, he didn’t need Ram doing things like that. It just made everything harder. But then he remembered Bohn’s words from earlier about not pushing Ram away. There was a part of him that really wanted to listen to that, but the larger, scared part of him couldn’t quite seem to move past the thought that it would be all for nothing when Ram finally grew tired of him. With a heavy sigh, King ran his hand through his hair and shook his head before walking back to where he and his friends would gather for lunch like they always did.

The rest of the day seemed to move quickly, and when he was finished with his last class of the day, King headed home instead of hanging around with his friends. He still had the plant that Ram had given him earlier and spent the bus ride to the apartment building looking at it. He tapped his index finger against the side of the small pot that it was in. King had… absolutely no idea what he was doing, what he should do. He was confused and tired and just… He wanted to just go back to how things had been before they started getting complicated. King hated the fact that Bohn’s words from earlier kept repeating in his head. It didn’t really help uncomplicate things. 

He was so lost in his thoughts that King almost missed his bus stop. He swore under his breath as he quickly rushed off the bus before the doors closed, apologizing as he went. Then, King continued toward his building. Once again, when he got there he found someone waiting for him. That time, it was all King could do not to run in the other direction. Sunan stood outside the entrance, leaning against his car with what looked like a small bouquet of yellow flowers of some kind. It was a coincidence. It had to be. Sunan was there for someone else. Except, the moment he saw King, Sunan stood up straight and smiled that sickeningly familiar smile that felt like a punch in the stomach to King.

He hated the fact that despite everything, he still thought Sunan was easily one of the most attractive men that he’d ever met.He always looked like a fashion model or a movie star that had just stepped off a runway. It wasn’t fair and King would have laughed if he could bring himself to do so. He was sure that he looked like a mess - he felt like a mess. He knew his hair was tousled in an unattractive manner from how much he messed with it, and his workshop shirt and jeans weren’t exactly the peak of fashion. It was silly to fixate on, King knew, but it was just another way that Sunan made him feel small in his presence. “Here to pick up a date?” King asked, sounding far more bitter than he meant to. The smirk on Sunan’s face made him want to just walk away - he was sure that it sounded like jealousy instead of him being upset that Sunan was there in the first place. He didn’t like Sunan thinking that he actually cared about him dating someone else.

“I’m here to pick you up, Khun,” Sunan replied. He gave King a once over, eyes lingering on the plant in King’s hand for a few seconds before continuing back up to his face. “After you change and get rid of that… whatever.”

King held the plant close to his chest, then. He immediately regretted his earlier thought about returning it to Ram. “I’m not going anywhere with you. What are you- Stop.” King struggled as Sunan grabbed one of his wrists to hold out his arm before he placed the bouquet of flowers into his hand. King then saw that they were yellow roses and carnations. “I don’t want these.”

“They’re for your apartment. Your sister said it is lacking in color. I’ve been dying to see for myself. Which one is yours?”

King clenched his jaw as he listened to Sunan speak, watching as his ex looked up at the building during his question. King was not going to answer it. He hated the fact that Sunan even knew which building he was in. It made him want to pack up and move right then and there. Maybe Bohn would let him crash on his couch. “You’re not invited. What do you want?” King tried to hand the flowers back to Sunan, but Sunan took a step back and slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans with a shrug of his shoulders. “You didn’t come all the way out here for no reason. Just tell me what you want.”

“I volunteered to help your mother pick out some things for the party, and she said that you would be glad to help out.” Sunan’s smile was charming and sweet, and King could easily picture him using it while talking to his mother. He always was able to charm King’s parents, and everyone else around him, honestly. “So, ditch the green thing and let’s go. We’ve got several stops to make, and I’ll even do you the honor of joining me for dinner at that place you like.”

“The place  _ you _ like, you mean,” King corrected with a shake of his head. He knew exactly which place Sunan was referring to. King hated it, but he always agreed to go there because Sunan liked it and he always somehow ended up convincing King that they should go there. “But it doesn’t matter because I’m not going.” King held the flowers back out to Sunan again, shaking them slightly. “Take these back. I don’t want them and I’m not keeping them.”

“But, Nu, I chose them especially for you.” There was a look on Sunan’s face, something akin to sadness. Unlike the kick in the chest that he felt when he saw Ram looking sad, the look on Sunan’s face just made King feel ill. How many times in the past had he fallen for it? How many times had he been swayed by it, not noticing the way that his eyes didn’t match with the expression his face held?

“I don’t w- Ning?” King’s initial statement was stopped by Ram suddenly appearing at his side. Or maybe it wasn’t as sudden as King thought. He’d been so focused on Sunan, a parade could have gone on behind him and King wouldn’t have noticed. Ram took the flowers from King’s hand and shoved them into Sunan’s chest. He let go as Sunan grabbed them with an expression that was muddled with confusion and anger all at once.

“He told you that he didn’t want them,” Ram said. He spoke calmly and carefully, but there was a slight edge to his tone that would have made King flinch away if he didn’t know Ram. “He also said he wasn’t going with you. I think you should leave.”

“Oh? What’s this?” Sunan said with a laugh. King wasn’t sure how to explain the look on his face, it wasn’t one that he’d seen before; but there was a level of amusement there that King wasn’t sure he liked. “Your new friend is coming to your rescue now?” Sunan looked him over and seemed to linger for a moment on the fact that Ram’s hand had wrapped around King’s wrist at his side. It made Sunan raise a brow slightly before looking back to King. “Careful, Nu. I think this one likes you.”

King glanced over at Ram before focusing on Sunan again as he said, “He’s right. You should leave. You volunteered to help out my mother, so go do that. I’ve got other things to do.” King grabbed the side of Ram’s shirt and used it to tug him toward the door of the building. It made Ram walk that direction, leading King since he hadn’t let go of King’s wrist yet.

“Khun, this isn’t funny. L-”

“I’m not joking,” King interrupted him, continuing to walk into the building after Ram. He took a deep but shaky breath as they made it inside, looking back to make sure that Sunan hadn’t decided to follow them inside. When he saw Sunan just standing there with a clenched jaw and what was almost a glare on his face, King looked forward again and continued to walk with Ram until they reached his apartment. Ram let go of King’s hand as King pulled out his keys to unlock the door. Once the door was open, King went in and paused. He stared at the wall of his entrance hall for a few seconds before he looked back at Ram and said, “Well, are you coming in or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know, yellow roses in a bouquet are a sign of infidelity while yellow carnations represent rejection and disdain. So when Sunan said he specifically chose those flowers for King he was purposely being an asshole on multiple levels.


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king really needs to work on his communication skills - and boss shows up to try to deliver some advice that king may or may not listen to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. So here we go with another update. King has some really good friends. Boss is great in this chapter. Anyway! Thank you for the comments, reads, and kudos so far. I hope you enjoy this one.

It was quiet in the apartment as Ram sat on the couch, watching King fuss over figuring out where was the perfect place to put the new plant. It was an excuse to not have to really focus on Ram or try to hold a conversation - they were both aware of what King was doing. King just didn’t want to admit it was what he was doing, not even to himself. There was only so long that King could do that, however, and when he finally had chosen where he wanted it to go he just stood there looking at it for several seconds. Then he took a deep breath before looking at Ram and smiling in that exaggeratedly friendly way that he sometimes did toward the younger students when he may not have particularly wanted to be there but they were asking him questions and he wouldn’t just blow them off. “I figured you would be with Duen today,” King said. “Wasn’t he talking abou-?”

“P’King,” Ram interrupted King’s question, though his voice was still soft and unassuming. King sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair. “Why are you avoiding me? I thought we were… friends.”

“We are. Friends. Yeah. You’re right. We are. I just-” King exhaled heavily and ran his hand through his hair again. “Look, Friday I was a mess and I didn’t want… I mean… you saw that and I just. It’s kind of embarrassing.” King stared at one of the walls in the room instead of looking at Ram directly. It was easier to talk to a wall than it was to look at him. King could feel Ram’s gaze focused on him, though, and it slowly made King shift his attention to where Ram was sitting on the couch. Neither one of them said anything and after a few seconds, King looked over toward the kitchen and gestured in the direction of it as he said, “Hey, are you hungry? I can make us something. I-” King broke off when he looked ahead again and realized that Ram was walking over to him.

“P-”

“Ning, I… uh…” King looked as though he wanted to run away as Ram stopped in front of him. He knew that Ram had come over there because of King’s obvious attempt in changing the topic instead of talking about… well, everything. King still seemed to look anywhere but directly at Ram until there were suddenly gentle hands on either side of his face, directing him so that he couldn’t look away. There was  _ too much _ in the way that Ram looked at him, it made King feel as though he was going to drown in it. He knew, he  _ knew _ what wasn’t being said and what Ram could easily try to tell him then; but, King wasn’t ready to hear it. He couldn’t handle hearing it, not right then. Ram’s brow furrowed at the way that King seemed to immediately withdraw into himself - he looked scared in a way that Ram wasn’t entirely sure what to do with. “Please…” King wasn’t sure what he was pleading for. He just knew it was too much and he couldn’t - he couldn’t handle it. There was too much going on in his head and around him and King just couldn’t do this, couldn’t acknowledge the  _ something _ that seemed to linger between him and Ram no matter how much he tried to deny it. 

Ram let go of his face, then, but pulled King in close enough to hug him tightly. King stumbled a couple of steps as Ram pulled him into the hug and he just sort of stood there for a moment. King let out a shaky breath as Ram held onto him. After a moment, King wrapped his arms around Ram as well and tilted his head down enough to hide his face against the top of Ram’s shoulder. He couldn’t face what was happening, he couldn’t handle the thought of crossing the fine line that existed between what they were and what could be. King wasn’t even sure his thoughts and doubts and fears made sense to anyone but himself. He wasn’t sure he could explain them to anyone. Still, there was something in the way that Ram was hugging him. It was a concrete hold, one that left no doubt or question - a silent reminder that Ram was there and he was going to be there, even if maybe King wasn’t entirely ready for him to be.

King hugged Ram tighter for a moment in a wordless apology for everything; for him being like he was, for everything he’d done and said, for everything he was feeling. He was not sure how long they stood there, but eventually King let go of Ram, who hesitated a moment longer before letting go as well. King gave Ram a small, hesitant smile. Neither one of them seemed fully sure what to do or say, but King was honestly just glad that Ram seemed to just… accept things as they were right then. He wasn't pushing for answers or asking questions that King couldn't answer. He was just there. He was there and King felt confused but also like he didn't want to be anywhere else. He was scared, but felt safe around Ram all at the same time. It was a lot to try to process, honestly. It was easier for him to just not think about it, to accept the moment right then as it was for what it was. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to Ram, how they were supposed to move forward from that moment and the weird tension that continued to hang around them. King tried to say something, but his words were drowned out by sudden rapid knocking on his door.

It made King tense and stand frozen in place for several seconds. It was rather clear from the look on his face that he immediately began to worry that Sunan had figured out which apartment was his. Of course, that tension faded from his shoulders with a heavy sigh when another round of knocks was accompanied by Boss speaking loudly on the other side of the door, telling him to open up the door. King then made his way to the door so that he could open it up, leaving Ram standing in the living room. Ram sighed inaudibly and ran a hand over his face as King dealt with the door and let Boss into the apartment. “... And I really think we need to wat- Oh, hey, N’Ram!” Boss said as he and King came into the living room. Ram had missed whatever it was that Boss had been saying at the door. “You can watch with us! The more the merrier, right?”

Boss was practically pouting as he said it, and Ram didn’t have the heart to try to tell him ‘no’, so he simply nodded as Boss looked at him, waiting for a response. Boss smiled and then he took the DVD that he’d brought with him over to the TV so that he could get it set up to play. “I promise the movie is so good,” said Boss as he grabbed the remote. “King kept promising to watch one day, so I decided today’s the day since King had no plans.”

King honestly couldn’t argue against that. He’d told everyone else that he didn’t have any plans for the evening. Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t like Boss’s company. It would help provide a bit of a distraction, too. He could focus on Boss and the movie and not the lingering whatever between him and Ram. It would have been easier to do if Boss hadn’t maneuvered them onto the couch with King between him and Ram. King focused on the television instead of the fact that there was not much space between himself and Ram. “What even is this movie?” King asked as Boss got comfortable on King’s other side.

“Just watch,” insisted Boss with a nod of his head as he used the remote to start the movie. “I promise you’re going to like it.”

None of them said anything else as the opening production company screens started to play on the TV. Boss set aside the remote and then made himself comfortable on the couch, leaning back against King’s side so that he could use his friend as a prop and rest his head on King’s shoulder. Usually King didn’t mind. It was something that Boss did every time that they watched a movie together. That time, though, Boss leaning against him like he was pushed King against Ram’s side even more. If Boss wasn’t leaning so bodily against him, keeping him practically pinned in place, King would have jumped up already. “Ai’Boss-” he started, only to be shushed by his friend.

“Pay attention. If you miss stuff in the opening, the end won’t make sense.” King sighed as Boss shifted around in an attempt to get more comfortable. He picked his head up for a few seconds before he rested back against King’s side.

King slowly glanced over at Ram, whose attention was focused on the television in front of them. However he seemed to be fighting against the urge to glance over at King, feeling that King’s gaze was on him instead of on the TV. It was almost normal, like something that would have happened before when the lines in their relationship were more clearly defined - back before King’s emotions started to make a mess of everything. He missed when it was easy, when he and Ram just spent time together and King didn’t second guess every move he made or everything he said. He missed when there wasn’t that nagging reminder at the back of his head that Ram wasn’t someone he should get too comfortable around, the reminder that Ram would end up leaving. “Ai’King! Focus on the TV, not your nong,” Boss insisted as he reached up, poking King’s cheek. It made King look over at him and Boss just flashed him a smile, even as King’s eyes narrowed slightly. Boss just kept his head tilted back for a few seconds, smiling brightly at King, before he returned to how he’d been moments before and focused on the television.

When King glanced back over at Ram, it was easy to see the small smile that was on Ram’s face though he kept his attention on the television. For a moment, King was able to let himself think that things were normal and fine, that he hadn’t just spent the previous several days going in and out of the worst low periods he’d had in a long time. He could pretend like he hadn’t gone and done the things he did, like things with him and Ram were normal. It made it so that he was able to relax a little more as he sat there, finally somewhat paying attention to the movie that Boss had brought over for them to watch. The longer the movie went on, the more at ease King felt and the less he felt as though he might suffocate because of the lingering tension with everything going on. 

“You know,” Boss finally said when the movie was nearing the end. King wasn’t entirely sure what was happening in the movie but he was comfortable and felt more relaxed than he had all day. So he wasn’t going to say anything about it to Boss. “If I had known that Ram was home, I wouldn’t have just invited myself over.”

King’s brow furrowed at Boss’s comment - he wanted to remind Boss of the fact that Ram didn’t stay there anymore. He hadn’t since shortly after the camping trip. His mother had needed him at home, and of course he was going to go back. The words never quite formed, though, as he found himself recalling his own words the other day when he’d tried to push Ram away, physically even. He’d told Ram to go home, and Ram hadn’t said anything but he’d glanced around the apartment. King suddenly felt as though someone had kicked him in the chest at the realization of what he’d missed due to his head having not been in the right place at the time. The apartment had been Ram’s home for a while - he  _ still  _ considered it to be a place that held the title ‘home’. It made it so that he could almost hear Bohn again, telling him that he didn’t think that Ram was really going anywhere. “Yeah, well. You and Bohn have this terrible habit of not asking first,” King said. He reached up with his arm that Boss wasn’t leaning against to pat the top of Boss’s head, letting his friend silently know that he didn’t care, really. Even if he might act like he did. “You should have brought food since you decided to drop by unannounced.”

“My dear heart is not with me, and he’s the one who usually feeds me.” Boss pouted as he tilted his head back so that he could attempt to look at King easier.

King just sighed and rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. His friends were so incredibly ridiculous. He loved them a lot. “I’m going to tell him you called him that.”

“Go ahead.” Boss shrugged his shoulders as he got comfortable again. He may have hit his head a little harshly on King’s shoulder in retaliation to the threat despite his cool tone of voice, but he wouldn’t admit to it out loud. “I’ve called him worse to his face. Especially since we actually started dating.”

“I still can’t believe that’s really a thing.” King shook his head with an amused chuckle. “I mean, I know we always joked but I thought it was just a joke.”

“Mn. Me too.” Boss nodded his head as he focused on the television again. “But I’m glad that he spoke up, that I spoke up. It was terrifying, and sometimes I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing - but it’s worth it.” Boss laughed softly but he could not keep the smile off of his face. “I’m dating my best friend.”

King chuckled a little and used his other hand to pat the top of Boss’s head again. “Yeah, Ai’Boss, we know.”

“It scares me sometimes. Like at the camping trip? I really thought I was going to lose him. I almost did.” Boss frowned a little at the memory. Then he looked up at King again as King shifted them around slightly so that he could wrap his arm around Boss, curling around his chest and holding Boss back against his chest in a makeshift hug that just ended up with Boss leaning against King more and pressing King against Ram’s side even more than before. There was no room left between him and Ram anymore, but King barely noticed besides the way that Ram shifted just enough so that he could be as comfortable as possible given their positions. “I was scared he wouldn’t forgive me, even after me telling everyone that I love him and all. It was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done.” King looked down at Boss but could only see the top of his head, so he just gently tightened his arm around Boss, giving him a gentle squeeze. “I don’t regret it for a moment. Sometimes you’ve just got to take that step, you know? Even if it scares you.”

Boss didn’t look away from the television as he spoke, and he missed the way that King looked back over at Ram. He also missed the way that Ram slowly shifted his attention over, and that King quickly looked back to the TV before Ram was able to look at him fully. Ram continued to watch King, though, and King cleared his throat slightly before taking a deep breath in order to fight against the way that he could feel his face attempting to flush. He was not sure where that reaction came from but he definitely knew it wasn’t one he wanted to deal with. “Yeah, yeah. You and Mek are gross and in love. We know this,” King replied as he messed up Boss’s hair with his free hand before he gently pushed Boss off of him - which his friend followed the directioning. King then stood up and rubbed the back of his neck as he stretched some. “Your movie’s done. Come help me cook something. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“Ai’King!” Boss scolded as he scrambled up from the couch to follow after King.

“Someone showed up and insisted I watch this movie instead, remember?” Boss looked as though he was about to scold King even more, so King grabbed a dish towel off of the drawer handle it had been draped on in order to throw at Boss’s face. It made Boss sputter and glare at him while King gave him an innocent smile in response. “Ai’Ning. What do you want?” King looked over to the living room area, where Ram was sitting on the edge of the couch, looking as though he was debating on if he should leave or not. Ram shook his head slowly - King took that to mean that he didn’t have a preference, and he nodded his head in response. “Alright. We’ll come up with something, then. You can watch something while we throw something together or you can join us.”

“Why don’t you two-?”

“Ai’Boss, you insisted on being here. You help, too. And you can’t go running to Mek to save you. He’s not here.” King smiled when Boss heaved a put upon sigh, but Boss went to the fridge so that he could see what there was, anyway. Ram almost slowly walked over to the kitchen area where the two of them were. He seemed hesitant, not that King could blame him considering everything that had been happening. “Awesome. With the three of us, it won’t take any time at all.” King nodded once to himself as Boss made some suggestions on what they could make. Everything was simple enough and he had the ingredients to do it, so King didn’t have any objections to the suggestion. If he spent the entirety of the time the three of them worked together to make dinner trying to pretend that nothing outside of that room existed, that things weren’t still weird and tense between himself and King… well, there wasn’t anyone who could read his thoughts to know what he was doing in the first place. Though the varying looks he got from Ram throughout the evening made King wonder how good of a job he was actually doing in trying to pretend that he was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> King really is just Struggling right now, isn't he? But he's slowly starting to piece it all together. He'll get there eventually. Thankfully he's got some good friends to help him get there. Also it's late, I'm tired. I am off to bed now. I'll fix any mistakes after I get some sleep.


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a good evening with ram and boss, king finds himself having a no good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy. So here we go with another chapter. This one has Sunan being an asshole in it. There are ... a lot of snide remarks and insults and just no good things. Be ready for that.

King really didn’t want to wake up fully. He was in that post sleep haze where he saw things around him but it took a moment for him to even register what it was that he was seeing. It had to be early still, from the dim lighting of the room. That and the alarm on his phone hadn’t sounded, letting him know that it was time to wake up. King slowly became aware that there was an arm pillowed underneath his head, and he blinked his eyes open to find that it was Ram laying next to him. King’s head was on his arm and he was close to Ram’s chest. Ram’s hand was on top of his arm. It wasn’t quite a hug, but was a near thing. King didn’t remember falling asleep like that. In fact, he remembered laying with his back to Ram after Boss had claimed the couch for the night. Somehow they must have moved around after he’d fallen asleep. That was…

King was not awake enough to really think about it too much. He knew he needed to not let himself get worked up about it, though. Ram was someone he was trying to stay friends with despite all the weird tension lately. King was someone who was often close to his friends. The way things were right then was really nothing. It meant nothing. If it was Bohn right there (or Boss or Tee or Mek), King would just go back to sleep until the alarm went off because it was nothing. Even if it didn’t really feel like nothing. King glanced up at Ram’s face. It was relaxed in a way that only seemed to exist when Ram was sleeping. King was hesitant to move because of it. He didn’t want to wake Ram up if he was sleeping well.

He quietly watched Ram for several moments before he looked away. He should get up. He needed to get up. There were things that he should do before heading to the university, and there were three of them that needed to shower unless the other two planned on going home first. King’s throat tightened at the thought, remembering once again that Ram still thought of the apartment as his home. He let out a heavy breath, slow and steady as he closed his eyes for a few moments. Then he felt Ram’s hand gently grab his arm where it had simply been resting on it, making King quickly look up at him. Ram was awake - looking a little confused and like he could easily fall back asleep. “P’King?” he asked. His words were mumbled, thick with sleep and the slight scratchiness of having just woken up.

“Go back to sleep, Ning,” he insisted quietly. “Still a while before the alarm. I’m going to shower.”

Ram looked for a moment like he was going to argue; but, then he nodded his head and closed his eyes. King still didn’t move to get up. Instead he just lay there for several more minutes. With an inaudible sigh, King tilted his head forward so that his forehead rested against Ram’s shoulder. He felt Ram’s hand on his arm shift a little, as if he was considering letting go in order to actually hug him. It was then that King carefully shifted out of Ram’s hold and toward the edge of the bed. He hesitated just long enough to make sure that Ram didn’t fully wake up again, and then he got up from the bed to gather clean clothes and everything he needed for a shower.

By the time he finished with his shower, he could hear his phone alarm sounding in the bedroom and what seemed to be Boss’s alarm from the living room. He could also hear Boss whining about it being too early. It was something that King definitely agreed with. He finished drying his hair with the towel he’d grabbed before he stepped out of the bathroom. “Shower’s free for whoever wants it next,” he told them, speaking up so that Ram would hear him in the bedroom. He came to the doorway of the bedroom and handed King his phone, having turned off the alarm on it. King mumbled a thanks and put the phone in his pocket.

“Me next,” Boss insisted as he pushed his way past Ram into King’s bedroom. “I’m stealing some clothes.”

“Some of them are yours anyway,” King countered as he made his way over to the kitchen. “Who wants what for breakfast?”

With the dull haze of the morning and their classes looming before them, it was rather easy to just go about their morning routines as best as possible. It didn’t take long for the three of them to head out of the apartment together. Boss tossed an arm over King’s shoulders as they walked. “You should hang out with us more often, N’Ram,” Boss insisted, leaning forward so that he could smile over at Ram, who was walking at King’s other side. “What did you think about the movie? You never said last night.”

Ram shrugged his shoulders. He honestly didn’t have much of an opinion about it. He’d been more focused on King and how close he’d been to really pay attention to the movie. He was thankfully saved from having to try to explain as much to Boss by King suddenly saying, “Ai’Boss. Did you forget to tell Mek that you were crashing at mine? He’s freaking out in the chat.”

“Oh. Oops.” Boss pulled his arm from around King’s shoulders so that he could pull out his phone and quickly message Mek, letting him know that he’d fallen asleep at King’s and would see him on campus. He had told Mek he would be home late, probably after Mek had fallen asleep. He hadn’t intended to stay the night, but it had gotten late and King had insisted he not try to go home on his own. King had assumed Boss had told Mek that he wouldn’t be home. King rolled his eyes with a shake of his head and a small, fond smile.

The three of them then got onto the bus that would take them to campus. King and Ram sat in seats next to one another while Boss sat stretched out across the two seats in front of them so he could face them and talk with them throughout the ride. Ram didn’t say much, but he had a small smile on his face the entire time. While there was still a slight, lingering tension it was so far in the background that at least for the moment it was almost like nothing had changed, like things were more like they’d been at the start. King couldn’t even really pinpoint the moment where things started to change anymore - maybe the camping trip, when he’d fallen asleep in Ram’s arms while he’d been sick. King shoved aside the thoughts quickly, not letting himself go there and ruin the moment.

When they got to campus, the three of them started to wander toward the courtyard where the others were. King was pretty sure Duen would be there with Bohn, even said as much to Ram before he pulled out his phone to see who was calling when he heard the ringtone. “Ah, it’s Mae,” King told them before waving them ahead. “I’ll be there soon. I’ve got to answer this.”

Ram hesitated, but then nodded and went with Boss to where the others were waiting. Once they were out of earshot, King answered the call. He crossed one arm over his chest as he talked with his mother, stepping off of the walkway he’d been following to pace back and forth on the grass out of the way of anyone else wandering along. King frowned as his mother started complaining about how there were only a few days left before the big event that she’d been working so hard to plan and prepare for. “All I’m asking is for you to do this one thing,” she told him from the other end of the call. “Help your mother out.”

“Can’t he do this on his own?” King replied with a scowl, gripping his bicep tightly with the arm that was crossed over his chest. “I’ve got classes, and-”

“I don’t know why you’re so worried about that. You don’t need those classes, dear. Do this for me, please? I would but I’m so swamped with everything else. I need this to be perfect and I trust you can make the right decisions for me.”

King let go of his bicep to pinch the bridge of his nose as he stopped pacing with a heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll help, but I’ll do it on my own. I don’t need a chaperone.”

“Don’t be silly, dear. You couldn’t possibly. Besides, one of the vendors I want you to meet with is only doing business with us because of S-”

“Okay. Okay. I get it. We’ll go get your stuff for this dumb party thing.”

“It’s a charity event.”

King could picture the way that his mother’s face was pinched at his comment, the crease in her brow and the way her lips would be tight in the corners with disappointment. It made him run his fingers through his hair a few times. “Yeah. Okay. I know. I j- Never mind. When do we have to do this?”

“Perfect! Sunan should be there to pick you up soon.”

“He’s already on the way? But I just agreed-”

“Thank you so much, dear. I’ll talk to you later. I’ve got to run.”

King stared straight ahead of him as he listened to the sound of the dial tone after his mother ended the call. He was not entirely sure what just happened or how he’d found himself agreeing to participate in what he’d told himself and Sunan that he wouldn’t. He was sure that somehow Sunan had convinced his mother that he needed to be the one to run these errands for her - Sunan had his family convinced he was an angel. Letting out a slow and shaky breath, King lowered his phone and pulled up the group chat he had with Tee, Boss, Mek, and Bohn. He couldn’t tell them. One of them would show up and tag along and just make the situation worse. He also couldn’t not tell them. They would only grow worried when he didn’t show up for class. As he started to walk toward the front of the university, where he was sure Sunan would show up, King started to try to come up with something to tell them, anything that wasn’t a lie but not the truth, either. Eventually, he settled on a short message that stated he’d see them later but he wouldn’t make it to class and his phone would be off.

He didn’t actually turn off his phone. He just muted the chat, but they didn’t need to know that. He put his phone into the back pocket of his jeans as he approached the parking lot at the front of the school. Sure enough, the obnoxious car that King had come to associate with Sunan was already parked there. King was almost to the car when the driver’s door opened and Sunan stepped out of it. His hair was styled up with some gel and his clothes looked as though he’d just bought them out of some high end magazine. He looked good and King hated that. “You’re slow, Nu,” Sunan commented with that charming smile of his as he rested one arm on top of the open door. “Take off that cheap shirt.” Sunan ducked down into his car, grabbing something from his back seat. Then he stood up straight again, holding an expensive looking button down shirt on a hanger that he must have had hanging up in the back seat somewhere. “Put this on.”

“No,” King replied with a roll of his eyes as he moved around the car to the passenger side. He opened the car door with a harsh tug and climbed into the car, missing the way that Sunan scowled at his refusal.

Sunan ducked down to get back into the car and he shoved the shirt into King’s arms. “I’m serious. Put it on. You can’t go around to these places looking like you got your clothes out of a second hand bin. I might have underestimated the size a little, but it should fit decently enough.”

King raised his brows at the comment and looked down to the shirt before looking back to Sunan. He then slowly reached over to the button he needed to press to roll the window down. Without looking away from Sunan, he grabbed the shirt and dropped it out the window. “Let’s go.” King rolled up the window and stared straight ahead as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Khun. That wasn’t very nice of you.” Sunan spoke as he looked straight ahead as well, gripping the steering wheel tightly for several moments. “You should get that.”

“Either drive, or I’m leaving and telling Mae you never showed up.” King didn’t look over at Sunan, though he could see out of the corner of his eye that Sunan had looked over in his direction again.

“You’re buying me a new one.” King shrugged and Sunan scowled before he started to drive off.

The day after that was a blur to King. They made several stops. There was a florist, a bakery, a restaurant that would cater the event, a planner that would help finish decorating per King’s mother’s ideas. They picked up some things that his mother had already ordered that Sunan was going to take back to King’s family home later. King talked with Sunan as little as possible throughout the day, and he spent much of his time rolling his eyes and scoffing as Sunan smiled and charmed those that were working at the different businesses they went to. King was annoyed and tense by the time they had finished their final stop. He wanted to go home and put distance between himself and Sunan. He wanted to call Bohn and ask him to come pick him up, but he didn’t want to deal with Bohn’s reaction to it all.

“Wait, where are we?” King asked as he looked around and realized that Sunan was parking the car somewhere that wasn’t his apartment complex like Sunan had said they were going.

“We are getting something to eat,” answered Sunan as he turned off the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Come on. Don’t cause a scene. Your mother would be so disappointed.”

King clenched his jaw and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath while Sunan got out of the car. While having his moment alone, King sighed and lightly hit his head back on the headrest behind his head. He had known that coming with Sunan was a horrible idea. He had known that if he hadn’t gone, though, his mother would only continue to try to guilt him into it. He hated that Sunan had his family wrapped around his little finger - he hated more that if he said anything, they’d still side with Sunan. King jumped in his seat when the passenger door suddenly opened to Sunan standing there, holding a hand out to help him out of the car. “I’ve gotten us a table reserved, Nu,” he said. “Let’s not be late and keep the staff waiting.”

King scoffed and knocked away Sunan’s hand before getting out of the car. “If we’re going to eat together, it’s not going to be at some fancy place you’ve practically got to be wearing a suit to get into. Cancel the reservation,” he said as he glanced around them to see where they were, trying to figure out if there was a place nearby that they could go to that was far more his own personal preference than wherever it was Sunan wanted them to go. “Come on.”

“Nu, really.” Sunan heaved a heavy sigh, but he followed King anyway as King walked down the sidewalk away from the restaurant that Sunan had parked in front of.

There was a smaller, family owned little shop that King liked. It was open air and had some of the best fried rice ever. King didn’t visit nearly enough, but it was a place he enjoyed. If he was going to suffer through Sunan’s company, he could at least do so in a place that made him happy. “You would like a place like this, wouldn’t you? The cheap menu, I mean.” There was a double meaning in Sunan’s statement, King could hear it in his voice. Even if it seemed to an outsider like he was simply making friendly conversation, King knew better. King scowled and ignored it as he grabbed the notepad out of the container in the middle of the table in order to write down his order. He then passed it over to Sunan, who frowned but took it as he glanced over the small menu selection listed on a card that was displayed. Sunan was all charming smiles and sweet words when the waitress came over to take the paper once Sunan was done writing. He then placed the notepad back where King had gotten it from. “You know, Khun, today reminded me of many things.”

“Like what?” King mentally kicked himself as he asked the question. He knew he didn’t want to know. He knew that whatever it was that Sunan had to say would be no good. Nothing Sunan ever had to say was good.

“Like how pretty your mouth is when you’re quiet and not interrupting with your unnecessary opinions.” Sunan reached over and seemed to attempt to brush a finger along King’s bottom lip, but King quickly jerked his head away so that Sunan wouldn’t be able to.

“I was sent to run these errands for my opinion, if you remember.”

King sighed when Sunan made a non-committal hum in response. “I remember when you used to share the same opinion as me more often.”

“No.” King rolled his eyes and crossed his arms on top of the table. “I didn’t have the same opinion, I just never voiced mine and let you speak for me.” Sunan looked for a few seconds as though he had swallowed something sour, and King could not keep the small, almost smug smile from forming on his face. It wasn’t often that he had the upper hand with Sunan, but for once it felt like he might.

“Do you speak so harshly to everyone who is kind to you? Is that why you’re still alone while your ridiculous friends all seem to have paired off?” Sunan’s question was asked in a calm, conversational way. There was no malice in his tone, just something that seemed almost like ease. Still it felt like a kick in the face to King, a reminder of other words said in the past - biting ones that told him over and over again that nobody would be willing to put up with him for too long, that even Sunan got tired of him. 

“That wasn’t- I- You-” King was saved from his attempt at trying to come up with a response by the waitress bringing their orders. She placed a plate down in front of each of them, followed by a glass of water for Sunan and a cola for King.

“Thank you, auntie,” Sunan said to her with a small incline of his head before she left them to eat. Once she had walked away, Sunan grabbed their glasses and switched them around, placing the water in front of King. He then took a drink out of the cola before setting it aside on his side of the table. “You should stick with the water. With all the junk on your plate, well…” He trailed off his sentence and clicked his tongue against his teeth while eying the plate that was sitting in front of King. He then shook his head and poked at the food on his own plate, picking up a piece of vegetable. “Oh, Nu, remind me and we’ll stop by a shop on the way back to yours, pick you up some cleansers. I’m sure you’ll need them for your face after eating that stuff. You’ve stopped using them, haven’t you? I can tell.”

“Stop.” King closed his eyes as he spoke. His voice was quiet enough that he was not even sure that Sunan had actually heard him. Even if he had been heard, he was sure that Sunan didn’t care. He should have been used to those sorts of comments, those actions. They had been part of the routine when he and Sunan had been together. Dress a certain way, act a certain way, look a certain way; it was all what was expected to be seen at Sunan’s side.

When he opened his eyes again, Sunan was more focused on his food than he was on King. “Stop what? I’m only looking out for you.” Sunan spoke again in almost an even tone, as if he might have been bored, while he gathered some rice onto his spoon. He looked at the rice instead of over at King. “How else are you going to get that new friend of yours to stick around?” Sunan shrugged his shoulder before he ate the rice and placed his spoon back down on his plate. “Bore him to death rambling on about your flowers?”

“Plants. They’re not flo- Why am I even-? Shut up, Sunan.” King stood up from the table, fully intending on walking to the nearest bus stop and just going home, to get away from Sunan and everything he’d been dealing with. He noticed then that several tables away, Ram was sitting there. He looked confused and upset and almost like he was in shock all at the same time. Had Ram been there the whole time? He could have been. King knew that Ram sometimes went to that shop. They’d been there together a few times, even. King had been so focused on ignoring Sunan and everything else that he hadn’t even really looked around the shop. He couldn’t remember if he’d even bothered to look at any of the other tables once he’d spotted that open one. “Ning.”

Ram looked up at him, and King couldn’t quite read the look on his face. It was… King didn’t even know, and it made him uncomfortable. He didn’t like that he couldn’t understand what Ram was thinking. He’d gotten used to being able to tell. Ram didn’t say anything as he slowly stood up and gathered his things before he went over to the counter to pay for what he’d ordered. “I think your friend isn’t very happy,” Sunan said with a slight smirk before he took another drink of the soda he’d taken from King. “Did you not tell him you were going to be with me today? Or does he even know who I am?”

“He knows that you’re nothing to me,” King countered without much thought to it. Most of his focus was on Ram as he walked in King’s direction, not listening as Sunan argued that of course he meant something. “Ai’Ning.” He wasn’t sure what to say, mostly because he wasn’t sure what Ram was thinking.

Ram still didn’t say anything as he came to a stop next to the table. His jaw was clenched slightly, in a way that reminded King of the time he’d been angry at his dad and telling King about it, as he glared down at Sunan. “Ning, huh? T-” Sunan started to say. He hadn’t gotten Ram’s name before, but King cut him off before he could say anything else to Ram.

“His name is Ram, Sunan. Don’t call him that.” King didn’t look at Sunan at all as he spoke, keeping his focus on Ram while continuing to try to decipher just what it was he was seeing on Ram’s face. Ram stood there for a few seconds more as Sunan tried to say something that was probably belittling - King didn’t even have to pay attention anymore to know the tone in Sunan’s voice and what words went along with it. Then he handed King a plastic cup that King hadn’t even noticed Ram was holding on to. It was a cola, like what King had ordered to begin with. It made King give a soft, short laugh of almost disbelief.

Without saying a word, Ram had managed to counter part of what Sunan had just been telling King. Sunan glanced between the two of them as they stood there and after a few more seconds stood up. “Khun, it’s time to go.”

Ram raised his brows at King - a silent question that King understood that time. It made him nod in response with another small smile. “You’re right. We’re leaving.” King didn’t wait for Sunan to say anything else as he felt Ram’s hand wrap around the crook of his elbow, effectively starting to lead him away from the shop and toward the bus stop down the street while ignoring Sunan shouting after him that they still needed to go see his mother. King was sure that he would get an earful from his mother later, but right at that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Neither one of them said anything as they stood at the bus stop, nor as they climbed onto the bus and took seats next to one another. It wasn’t until they had passed two other stops that Ram finally said, “He talks to you like that a lot?” King sighed through his nose as he looked out the window next to him. It was easier than looking over at Ram and seeing the look on his face. King slowly nodded his head. “He shouldn’t.”

“I know,” replied King. His whispered words didn’t sound as confident as he wished they did. He did know. He knew what kind of person Sunan was, knew the ways in which he’d managed to bend and break him. He knew it, but that didn’t make it suddenly better or any easier. It didn’t make the damage suddenly go away just because he knew that Sunan was a horrible person. There was a time where he hadn’t seemed to be horrible, where Sunan’s opinion was the one that molded and shaped him. That didn’t just… go away because he knew that Sunan hadn’t been right. It just put him in a place where he could attempt to stop letting the words get to him as much.

“He’s wrong.”

The resonating sound of Ram’s belief in the statement caused King’s breath to catch for a few seconds as he looked over at Ram. The intensity in Ram’s returning gaze almost made King want to pull away or to go hide somewhere anywhere but there. At the same time, King couldn’t bring himself to move and didn’t want to be anywhere else. “What if he’s not?”

Ram didn’t look away from King but didn’t give an answer to the question, either. There wasn’t much of a point, not when it wouldn’t suddenly change King’s mind or erase the fears that nagged at him. At that point, the only thing that Ram could do was to keep doing what he had been - be there for King. It was what he intended to do. Ram took a hold of King’s elbow again and gently pulled him up onto his feet. King followed like it was the easiest thing in the world. He wasn’t entirely sure where they were. It wasn’t his own apartment building and it wasn’t the right bus stop to switch to the line that would take them there. But King didn’t ask yet. He was sure that there was a reason and he would find out what it was soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy. Ram to the rescue. Not that King really needed it. He can clearly look after himself. But he doesn't have to do it alone. Also Ram's silent disagreement with Sunan, insisting that King can and should eat or drink whatever he wants? A+ move imo lol.


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king spends some time with ram and opens up some about sunan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya guys. Thank you all for continuing to read and review. I have been agonizing over this chapter for a while now. I'm still not sure what I think about it, but it's done so I hope you enjoy.

King twisted the cup in his hands back and forth between his palms as he blankly looked around the yard around him as he sat on the bench out there. It was dimly lit, mostly from the lights inside the house behind him and the remnants of light from the sun on the horizon. He wasn’t entirely sure where Ram had disappeared to, but he was appreciative of the few minutes alone anyway. A lot had happened that day and King was just… drained. He was exhausted, and he knew that when he finally looked at his cell phone his friends were all going to be yelling at him for disappearing all day. It made him continue to put off messaging them or unmuting the group chat. He loved them all, but he just was not prepared to deal with them. He was not prepared to deal with most people, honestly - which was why he was sitting outside. He glanced over his shoulder to the house behind him. He could see shadows on the curtains that were drawn, people moving around the kitchen. King knew that he could leave, just set the glass aside and walk off. No one would notice he was gone for a while. He didn’t want to be a burden. King tapped his fingers on the cup as he held it better with the other hand and looked forward again.

He glanced up toward where the sun had disappeared past the horizon, where there were purples and oranges and reds and blues mixing together in the fading light that mixed with darker, night sky. A few moments later, King could hear the door to the house open and shut followed by footsteps in his direction. He didn’t look over at Ram as Ram sat down on the bench next to him. Neither one of them said anything for several minutes. “My family and Sunan’s family have been close for years. Since before I was born,” King explained quietly. He continued to stare at the sky where it grew darker and darker with each passing moment. “He and I were a thing off and on for… a really long time.” King sighed and reached up with one hand to run his fingers through his hair, pushing the strands back from his face. He wasn’t sure why he was telling Ram all of that. He hadn’t intended to. He didn’t want to talk about it at all. He definitely didn’t want to talk about it with Ram. Not with everything else going on. Yet, something made it so that he couldn’t exactly stop himself from talking, either. “About a year ago, maybe longer - I honestly don’t remember anymore. Anyway, we broke up and I swore it would be the last time. I was… a mess. I was in a really bad place. Bohn and the others, they…” King let out another heavy breath as he finally looked over to where Ram was sitting next to him. “I don’t know where I would be without them.”

“Your family doesn’t know?” Ram asked with a slightly furrowed brow. He couldn’t see how King’s family would insist he spend time with someone like that. It just didn’t make sense to him. Shouldn’t they want King to be away from the guy?

King shook his head a few times. “No. I never- They didn’t know we ever dated. They wouldn’t…” King broke off with a soft, bitter sounding laugh. “They adore him. He is the perfect son. Everyone loves him. He’s got everyone wrapped around his finger. They would probably believe him over me.”

Ram scowled at that bit of information as he leaned back and crossed his arms. It was easy to read Ram’s agitation. He seemed to be struggling with himself, trying to come up with the right words that he wanted to say. “Believe him about what?”

“Anything. Everything. If I told them and he said that I was lying, they'd believe him.” King scoffed and shook his head before finishing the water in the cup. He then placed the cup on the arm of the bench. “They want us to end up together, they talk about it all the time. They have no idea…” King shook his head again and crossed his arms while leaning forward enough to rest his arms on his knees. “I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. I shouldn't be dumping it on you. I'm sure-” King's eyes widened as a hand settled on his shoulder and suddenly tugged him backward so that he was sitting upright. He looked over at Ram, whose expression he couldn't fully read again.

“You aren't dumping anything on me, P’King,” he insisted, ducking his head just enough to meet King’s eye when King attempted to look away. “I want to know.”

King nodded his head a couple of times and he looked back around them instead of saying anything else on the matter. He was tired. “Your garden is pretty.” It was a clear change in topic, but it was so undeniably a comment that King would make that Ram could not keep the small smile off of his face as he nodded his head once. King glanced back over his shoulder toward the house when he heard a muffled laugh from inside. “Are you sure it's okay that I'm here?”

“Mn. My mom doesn't mind, and you already met my brother.” King seemed hesitant in his nod, but Ram smiled anyway when he did. “This is where I come to sit and think when I need a moment. It's not as impressive as yours, but…”

Ram was looking around the yard when King looked back in his direction again. He had a soft, almost peaceful smile on his face, as if they hadn't been talking about horrible things only moments before. King was not sure what it meant that Ram was just accepting his obvious change in topic and the fact that it meant King didn't want to talk about Sunan anymore. The fact that Ram had brought him there and brought up his secret spot in his own family garden said a lot, and King was not sure where to even begin with it. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Ram nodded his head and the two of them fell into silence again. It lasted for several minutes, just the two of them sitting there. Neither one was fully sure what to say - Ram had many more questions, many more things he wanted to say about what he’d seen and overheard, but he didn’t want to push King or make him feel like he was being pressured into sharing anything. “Are you hungry? Mom should have dinner finished soon.”

He wasn’t really, but he would feel guilty if he turned down the offer that Ram’s mother had already extended. He didn’t want to be a burden, but he also didn’t want to seem unappreciative of the kindness. Instead of answering, King nodded his head and stood up when Ram did. The two of them then went inside, forgetting about the cup still sitting on the arm of the bench. “I was just about to call you in,” Ram’s mother said in halting Thai - King was sure that it was for his benefit as he’d heard Ram speaking in English with his mother earlier. 

Ram pointed out the dining room table for King to go sit at before he helped his mother set the table with four places. The four of them were soon sitting around the table as they ate. There wasn’t too much conversation. Most of it was between the three family members with King just listening to the parts he could understand. He didn’t mind, he wasn’t exactly feeling very talkative. Focusing on the food was a good excuse to not have much to say. Ram must have warned the other two he might not say much, they didn’t really try to drag him into the conversation but they didn’t completely shut him out. He never felt like he couldn’t try to join in - he just didn’t. Once they were all done eating, Ram and his brother cleaned up while King sat around waiting for Ram. He felt awkward just sitting there, but Ram insisted that he didn’t need to help when he’d offered.

King wasn’t entirely sure how long he sat there before he was following Ram away from the kitchen and toward another part of the house. He wasn’t paying a lot of attention and almost ran into Ram’s back when Ram stopped just inside the room that he had been leading King to in order to turn on the light. King mumbled an apology before his attention was drawn across the room where suddenly Ram’s dogs were jumping up from where they’d been laying on the floor sleeping. The dogs rushed over in their direction and King immediately moved so that he could put Ram between himself and the dogs. A part of him knew he was being silly - he had been around Ram’s dogs before and they’d never done anything to warrant the spike of fear he typically felt when around dogs. However, he was already on edge from everything else and just seeing them almost made King want to cry from the way it caused another spike in his anxiety. “P’King, if you let go I’ll put them in another room,” Ram told him, making King realize that he’d even wrapped his arms around Ram’s middle in the first place.   
  


“Oh,” he replied as he quickly dropped his arms, but made sure that Ram stayed between him and the dogs. He watched warily as Ram directed them around King to the doorway and away from the room. King let out a long, shaky breath once he was alone in the room.

After several seconds, he slowly started to look around the room - Ram’s room, he realized. There were different pictures and posters on the walls, a desk area in one corner, an entertainment center across from the bed with a TV and some sort of video game console. The room was clean and organized, neater than he’d imagined Ram’s room to be. It was very basic colors and styles, though, which King had anticipated. As he slowly looked around, King’s attention was caught by a small plant sitting on a bookshelf. It was on the same shelf as a photo of Ram with his brother and mother and what seemed to be other knick-knacks that probably held some significance to Ram that King didn’t know. When he went over to the bookshelf, he carefully picked up the small plant to look closer at it and he realized that it was the plant that he had given Ram a while ago. King remembered that Ram had mentioned it being important to him, but he hadn’t expected Ram to still have it. The fact that he did meant that Ram was taking the time to continue to care for it.

King stood there with a small smile on his face as he looked at the plant, not realizing that Ram had returned to the room and was watching him in turn. There was a small but fond smile on Ram’s face as he watched the way that King studied the plant - which seemed to be healthy and was in a slightly bigger pot than the one that King remembered it being in last. King seemed far more at ease there than he had when he had first gotten to Ram’s home. There was something just unexplainably nice about seeing King look so comfortable there in his bedroom, like it was somewhere he was supposed to be. After a few moments, King placed the plant back on the bookshelf and then turned around to move on to something else - but he jumped slightly when he saw Ram standing there by the door. “I didn’t hear you come back,” King said.

“It isn’t boring,” replied Ram, making King’s face crumple in confusion as he tried to figure out what Ram was talking about. “When you talk about the plants you enjoy. It’s not boring.”

“Oh.” King gave a small, slow nod to that as he took the few steps needed in order to move over and sit down on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say that. I know it is. No one else shares my intere-”

“It isn’t.” Ram’s voice left no room for argument, even as King looked a little frustrated at being interrupted. Ram didn’t want to hear the rest of what King was trying to say as somewhat of an apology that was unnecessary. “When you talk about them, you look… happy. You’re happy and you get this look on your face like…” Ram huffed out a breath as he seemed to struggle with finding the words that he wanted to say. King swallowed thickly as he looked away from Ram, trying not to think too much into the fact that his mind seemed to easily supply the words that Ram was failing at thinking up. They were all  _ good things _ and King was glad that Ram didn’t say them. He wasn’t sure he could handle hearing them. “I like when you smile - they make you smile.”

“Oh.” King ran a hand through his hair as he tried to think of the right thing to say to that. He couldn’t find it, but somehow he didn’t think that Ram really expected him to. “I, uh, I should probably head home.”

“You don’t have to. If you don’t want.” Ram wouldn’t try to force King to stay, but he also didn’t really want King to leave. It wasn’t like he didn’t stay at King’s place a lot. It wouldn’t be weird if King stayed the night there.

“I don’t want to impose more than I already have.”

“You’re not imposing. I brought you here, remember?” 

King hesitated for a few seconds before he let out a soft laugh with a nod of his head. Ram did have a point, after all. Ram had brought him there after the whole incident with Sunan. He was thankful for it, because he wasn’t sure that if he went home that Sunan wouldn’t be waiting at his apartment building. King really didn’t want to have to deal with him if that was true. He also wasn’t entirely sure that being alone was a good idea. It would give him far too much time to overthink and that was not something he could see going well. He still didn’t want to unmute the chat and deal with his friends. Staying there seemed to be the best course of action. It was a neutral location, but at the same time he felt safe and comfortable there in a way he didn’t think he ever had in someone else’s home upon first visit. “Okay. Can I use your shower?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Ram got King a change of clothes that he could borrow before he showed King where the bathroom was. Then Ram returned to his room where he began working on his homework as he waited for King to finish in the shower. A knock on his bedroom door caused Ram to turn in his chair to see his mother standing there. “Did your friend go home?” she asked, speaking in English since she could see that it was only Ram in the room.

“No. He’s in the shower,” he said.

“He seems like a sweet boy.” Ram nodded his head a couple of times as his mother walked into the room and over to the desk. “Sad, though.” Ram opened his mouth to say something to that, but then closed his mouth again with a nod of his head. He wouldn’t explain past that, and he also knew that his mother wouldn’t ask. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything. I thought I should say good-night in case I fall asleep.”

“Good night, mum,” Ram replied with a smile. He closed his eyes when she pressed a kiss to his forehead before she ruffled his hair and then left the room again.

Once he was alone, Ram resumed working on his homework until he could hear someone shuffling around near the doorway. When he turned around, he found King standing there holding on to the clothes that he’d been wearing earlier. They were folded neatly, most likely so that he could wear them again the next day. “Feel any better?” Ram asked. King hummed but didn’t say anything. His face looked blotchy with redness. Ram wasn’t sure whether it was because of the heat of the water in the shower he had taken or because he’d been crying. Neither one really seemed like a good thing, but Ram was sure that King wasn’t going to talk about it. Instead of asking and having it ignored or the subject changed, he pointed to a chair over on the other side of the room. “You can put your stuff there.” King walked over to the chair that he’d pointed out and placed his clothes on it. “Do you want to watch something?”

King shook his head at the question. “I’m kind of tired,” he answered. He felt incredibly drained and like he could sleep for days if given the opportunity.

Ram nodded his head and then turned to his desk where he opened one of the drawers. He pulled out an extra phone charger that he then held out for King to take. He figured that King would probably need it since he’d been running around all day. “I’m going to shower.” 

“Oh. Okay.” King nodded as he went back to his clothes to grab his phone out of his pocket. At the same time, Ram gathered clothes for himself to take into the bathroom so that he could shower. King unlocked his phone and idly scrolled through a few chats he had with people, still avoiding the group chat with Bohn and the others. When King looked over to where Ram had been, King found himself alone in the room and the door had been shut without him realizing - he tried not to feel a surge of disappointment at that. With an inaudible sigh, King walked over to the bed and found that he would be able to plug in his phone and still use it if he lay on the left side. So he did that -- taking a moment to turn off the lights except a bedside lamp on the other side of the bed to make it so Ram would be able to see once he returned to the room -- so that he could finally open the group chat while he was alone.

There were well over a hundred messages. The first ones didn’t seem very concerned or upset, but the later in the day it got and the continued lack of response made everyone seem to grow more anxious. It was easily seen in their comments and the way they started assuming the worst. King winced as he read a message from Bohn stating that he would kick his ass if King had gone off somewhere with Sunan. The last couple of messages seemed to have calmed down - there was less yelling and swearing at him. They were more just asking that King let them know that he was okay. King lay there with his thumb hovering over the box where he would type a response for several moments before he tapped it and quickly typed out a message.

_ i’m ok. i will be at school tomorrow. _

_ sorry. _

King lay there staring at the screen after he sent the second message and he didn’t move until the screen started to dim. He tapped it to keep it lit but when he saw that there were several of the boys typing at once, King closed the chat and turned off his phone screen, setting it aside. He knew he would be in for a day of questions and concerns and frustrations come the next day. He would deal with it then.

He didn’t realize that he had dozed off until the shifting of the bed behind him signaling Ram laying down woke him up. King didn’t move, facing away from the middle of the bed as Ram seemed to settle into place. He almost wanted to turn and see what Ram was doing, but he didn’t want to let Ram know that he was actually still awake. After a moment, King realized that Ram was reading something when he heard Ram turn a page. He lay there for a while longer before King eventually turned over onto his other side so that he was looking over and up at Ram. “What are you reading?” he asked quietly.

Ram didn’t seem surprised that King was awake, but he didn’t answer right away. He looked at King before focusing on his book again - seeming to finish the bit he’d been reading. “It’s a book for one of my classes,” explained Ram as he placed his marker in his book. “Is the light bothering you?”

King shook his head. “I wasn’t really asleep.” He reached up and lifted the book enough that he could see the cover of the book. “Is that English?” Ram hummed his agreement with a nod of his head. King was pretty sure he understood what the title said even if he didn’t get the meaning of the words. He was too tired to ask. “You should get some sleep too. It won’t be good to sit awake all night.”

Ram hummed and nodded his head again. “I have to finish this chapter, then I will.”

“I guess that is acceptable.” King’s lips twitched upward at the corner, not quite a smile but not  _ not _ a smile, either. “Read it to me.”

“It’s English.”

King shrugged his shoulders and Ram chuckled softly but nodded. He then got a little more comfortable where he was sitting before he started to read. King knew some of the words that Ram was saying, but not enough to fully follow what the text was saying. It didn’t help that he was in the middle of the page so there was limited context for King to use. Still, there was something calming in listening to Ram read. His voice was still soft as ever, but there was a tone to it that King just really liked listening to. Before he really knew what was happening, King ended up falling asleep listening to Ram read.

Several hours later, King woke up and the room was dark. He wasn’t sure what woke him up - something in his dream, maybe. He wasn’t sure what he’d been dreaming of but he felt completely unsettled. It took him several moments to realize that Ram’s arm was wrapped around him and that somehow he’d ended up with his face almost pressed against Ram’s chest. King almost shoved him away on reflex, but the way that Ram’s arm was around him kept him from being able to do so. He knew he could get out of Ram’s hold if he really wanted to, but maybe the fact that he didn’t really try meant that he didn’t actually want to. The thought made King swallow thickly as he closed his eyes again. He was getting far too attached and that voice in his head once again was telling him that it was a dumb idea. He liked the feeling of being there in Ram’s arms too much to listen at that moment, though, and before he could dwell on it for too long, King was starting to drift off to sleep once again.


	11. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king has to face the consequences of running off and hiding from his friends all day - but maybe things go better than anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. Here we go with another late update for this. I meant to have this one out a while ago but I got caught up with a friend visiting and dealing with some stress stuff. But here you go. Here's the next bit.

It was the sound of an alarm that woke him, but it was not his own alarm. It made King sigh and thoughtlessly shift closer to the warmth in front of him as it shifted away. He didn't like that - and it took him several moments to realize that it had to be Ram that he was pressed in close to. It made him tense a little but he didn't pull away, mostly because he didn't want to see whatever expression was on Ram’s face. “P’King, I have to get up,” Ram said softly. One of his hands brushed over King’s back in a soothing gesture; King hated that it seemed to work as the tension that was building just seemed to leave. “It's still early. You can go back to sleep.” King hesitated for a few seconds before he nodded to show that he'd heard what Ram had said. Ram lingered there a moment longer before he got up from the bed, carefully letting go of King as he went. Ram didn't walk away at first, taking a few seconds of his time to make sure that King seemed comfortable and still had the blanket draped over him. 

Once he noticed that King had managed to doze off again, Ram quietly made his way out of his room and toward the kitchen. There were already lights on in there, letting Ram know that his mother had gotten up already. “I didn’t expect you up since your friend is here,” she commented when she saw Ram come into the kitchen.

“And miss breakfast? Never,” he replied. It was a standing tradition of his to get up early and join her for breakfast before she went to work. Of course, when he hadn’t been staying at the house, they hadn’t followed through on the tradition. Ram shook his head when his mother asked if his friend would be joining them. “He’s not usually up this early.”

His mother nodded in understanding as they worked together to get breakfast ready. “Is he the friend you stayed with for a while?” Ram nodded in response and he kept his focus on what he was working on, which made him miss the small smile that his mother gave him. “Will we see him here more often?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Ram hoped so. He was very close to his mother and his brother, after all. He wanted King to like them and to feel comfortable there. It was just something they’d have to wait and see, honestly.

“Well, either way, make sure he eats some of this before you head to campus. There’s more than enough.” His mother reached over and patted the back of Ram’s head and looked up toward the entry into the kitchen when Ruj stumbled his way in, rubbing one eye with the back of his hand with one of the dogs sticking close to his side. The three of them chatted as Ram and his mother continued to make breakfast. Well, it was mostly Ram and his mother who talked while Ruj continued to try to wake up as he sat at the island counter.

When they finished eating, Ruj went back to his room to finish his homework before getting ready for school while their mother went to finish getting ready to head to work. Ram finished cleaning up the kitchen, making sure to save a plate of the food for King when he woke up - which wasn’t too much later. He came into the kitchen looking a little confused and like he was still half asleep. “It’s still early,” Ram commented. King just hummed in response, not quite awake enough to try to form words. “Breakfast is still warm if you want some.” King nodded his head and Ram took the plate he’d covered over to the table while taking what he’d wrapped it in off to throw away. King mumbled a thanks and Ram nodded before he resumed picking up everything else.

By the time King finished eating, he seemed much more awake and ready to face the day. He even managed to hold a small conversation with Ram’s mother before she left to head to work. It was a slightly stilted conversation but King still felt like it went well. She seemed to like him more than Boss’s mother did - but Boss’s mother didn’t really care for anyone in their friend group. King wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like they ever got Boss into a lot of trouble or anything. “Your mom is sweet,” King told Ram when they made their way back to Ram’s room so that they could start getting ready to head to campus. “You’re sure she really didn’t mind me staying?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” replied Ram with a soft laugh. “She’s the one who made sure that we made enough breakfast for you, too. If she cared, she wouldn’t have.” King nodded his head in response as he grabbed his clothes from the day before off of the chair. They were still clean enough that he could wear them again. “You can borrow clothes.” King seemed to debate it for several moments before Ram sighed and grabbed a black t-shirt that would fit King and a pair of jeans. He then took King’s dirty clothes from King’s arms and replaced them with the clean ones. He handed King his workshop shirt, though, before he put the dirty clothes in the hamper. They could be washed and then Ram would return them to King.

King stood there for a few more seconds before he nodded his head and thanked Ram for the clothes. He then went to the bathroom so that he could change and freshen up a bit before they left. It didn’t take long for either one of them to get ready but they decided to head to campus despite it still being a bit early. Their friends were likely to be there, anyway. Especially King’s friends. He was sure they were waiting to talk to him about him disappearing the day before. The two of them decided to ride Ram’s bike to campus that day, with King riding on the back as Ram drove. It was ideal for King because it gave him an excuse to not have to try to hold a conversation like he might have felt he needed to if they had ridden the bus. Ram needed to focus - which was an excuse, King knew, but he wasn’t going to dwell too much on it. He would just use the time to mentally prepare for having to deal with Bohn and the others.

While he had a lot of ideas of how the morning was going to go, he didn’t expect to nearly be tackled as soon as he got off of Ram’s bike when they got to campus. “Bohn is so mad right now,” Boss insisted as he clung to King, somehow managing to nearly lift King off the ground with the strength of his hug. King looked to Ram for help, but Ram just watched with an amused smirk on his face as he put his bike onto the bike rack they’d stopped by. “Where did you go? Why did you ignore us all day? Are you okay?” Boss finally let go of King at the last question, giving King a once over as he asked.

“I’m fine. I… It’s complicated,” King replied as he reached up to rub the back of his neck. “But I’m fine. Promise. It’s all fine.” Boss looked as though he didn’t believe King, so King threw an arm over his shoulders and drew Boss in close to his side. “I’m here, aren’t I?” Boss didn’t have an argument against that, but he still seemed as though he doubted whether King was really okay or not.

He looked over at Ram, but the expression on Ram’s face was blank, not giving anything away. It made Boss huff out a breath. “Well, come on then. Everyone’s here already. Is your nong coming with us?”

King looked over at Ram, who shook his head in response after a slight hesitation. While Ram would have liked to continue to be close to King, he felt as though whatever was going to happen next was something between King and his friends. He didn’t need Ram hanging around and getting involved. “I think he’s got homework to do still, yeah?” King replied, though he was directing the question at Ram more than he was speaking to Boss. King wasn’t exactly wrong. Ram did have some studying he could be doing. So he nodded at the question. “We’ll talk later.” It almost seemed like a question, though the look that Ram sent him in response was enough to make King realize it was a rather dumb question. He nodded his head once with a soft laugh. It was familiar, easy in a way that made King remember how things had been before he had to go and let his feelings make things complicated.

He wasn’t entirely sure what it meant that after everything, Ram was still there. King brushed it off for the moment, however, and started to walk with Boss toward the courtyard they usually gathered at. Neither one of them said anything, but King wasn’t unaware of the way that Boss kept sneaking looks at him as if he was double and triple checking that King really was okay. He seemed to be, but then Boss had learned that things weren’t always the way that they seemed when it came to King. Boss knew that he still didn’t know everything that bothered King, he didn’t know why things were the way they were. What he did know, though, was that sometimes King wasn’t able to hide his sadness behind his friendly smile and kind voice. He knew that King’s ex wasn’t a good person and that Bohn hated the guy. He knew that King felt as though he had to carry everything that haunted him on his own.

Sometimes Boss just wished that King remembered he didn’t have to.

“Bohn went by your place last night,” Boss said, attempting to keep his voice casual in a way that made it seem more conversational than concerned. “He said you never showed up.”

“Did he sleep there?” asked King, suddenly feeling bad about his decision to not go home the night before. He hadn’t thought that Bohn would show up. Even though he knew that Bohn had a key, he still didn’t think it would happen. Boss nodded his head and King sighed softly. He reached up with his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was sure that the fact that he hadn’t gone home had only made Bohn worry even more. King wished there was no reason for that worry, but it was justified. “I was at Ram’s.” King ignored the look that Boss gave him in response to that admittance. He didn’t want to talk about whatever thought caused Boss to look at him like that. “I’ll explain when we’re with the others.”

As they approached the courtyard, King saw Bohn pacing around next to their usual table. His hair was a mess and he seemed to be wearing some of King’s clothes that didn’t fit him correctly at all. King would have teased him about it if things were different. That day he didn’t, though. Especially since he knew that it was his own fault that Bohn seemed so stressed out and worried. He hadn’t thought that Bohn would have worried that much, especially after he had reached out and let them know that he was okay. “Ey, look who I found,” Boss announced as they neared the table, squeezing his arm around King’s waist tightly enough that it made King groan. “He showed up with that nong of his.”

“Where the hell were you?” Bohn insisted as he stalked over to Boss and King, causing Boss to slip away from King’s side in order to go join Mek who was sitting at the table. 

“Like he said, I stayed at R-” King started to explain, but he was interrupted by Bohn.

“I mean all day. Ram was on campus, don’t give me that bullshit.” Bohn had known that King hadn’t spent the whole day with Ram, it had been the first person Bohn had checked with once King had stated he was leaving. Ram had been unaware of what was happening.

“Look. I just… It’s complicated.” King really didn’t want to have to tell Bohn about how he had spent the day. Something about the way that Bohn was looking at him made him feel like maybe Bohn already knew. Or he at least suspected it. King sighed and reached out to grab Bohn’s arm so that he could lead Bohn over to the table where their friends were sitting. “Does it really matter? I’m okay. That should be what is important.”

“Not if Sunan is around filling your head with nonsense again.” Bohn clenched his jaw and tightened his fists when he noticed the way that King winced at his statement. It proved his suspicions correct. 

“Bohn’s right,” Tee said as he shifted around, crossing his arms on top of the table and leaning forward slightly. “Why would you go spend the day with him? You promised.”

“I know,” replied King as he nodded his head a couple of times. He had promised that he was done with Sunan, that he wouldn’t let his ex into his life again. He had meant it. He still meant it. King wasn’t doing anything with the intention of giving him another chance or seeing where things might go. “He got Mae involved. She insisted that me going around with him to run errands for the thing this weekend would do her some great service or something.”

“Well tell her to fuck off,” insisted Bohn with a huff of breath.

“Bohn! I can’t do that. She’s my mom.” King’s brow furrowed and he shook his head a couple of times at the idea. It wasn’t as though his mother was purposely putting him in the position of dealing with someone that he had sworn to avoid. She didn’t know - which was King’s fault for not telling her. “But I’m okay. I’m  _ fine _ . Sunan was… Sunan, but he doesn’t… I’m not… I-I mean it’s not easy to hear him say these things, but it’s not…” King groaned and ran a hand through his hair a few times. He hated that he couldn’t quite find the words to say what he wanted. He was okay. He was better than he would have been in the past after spending a day with Sunan. He felt out of sorts, sure, but he wasn’t in as bad of a place as he could have been. “He can’t get to me like he used to. He tried, but I’m stronger now. Partially because I have these pretty amazing friends at my back always.”

“You don’t get to be cute and charming and get yourself out of trouble, sir,” Tee said as he wagged a finger in King’s direction with slightly narrowed eyes. “You should have told us. One of us would’ve gotten you out of there.”

“I know. I know that.” King gave Tee a weak smile before he glanced around at the others. “I know you would’ve been there if I asked. But then he would’ve gone to Mae and I just- I wanted to just get it over with. Now I don’t have to see him anymore.”

“What about the thing this weekend?” asked Mek. 

The question made all of them pause and King tensed in his seat. He hadn’t thought about it. His mother had never specifically stated whether or not she expected him to attend. King hadn’t planned on going, but then he hadn’t exactly planned on helping her run her errands, either. It would probably be expected that he be there, that the family would show a united front and all. King let out a slow, steady breath that mingled with a curse that was almost too quiet to hear. “I can tell Mae that I’m ill or something,” King finally answered. “I have no desire to get all dressed up and play nice with her… can they even be called friends?”

“Go with a date,” suggested Boss. “Then Sunan will have to leave you alone or look like an asshole in front of everyone.”

King could not stop himself from laughing at that suggestion. It wasn’t entirely accurate, but it wasn’t wholly inaccurate, either. If he did go with a date, it would at least give him a buffer and an excuse to avoid any attempts at Sunan trying to talk to him alone. “I’ll be your date,” Bohn said, which once again made King laugh.

“I’m pretty sure your boyfriend might have an issue with that,” he replied with a shake of his head.

“So would yours, but they can deal.” King immediately started to argue with Bohn, insisting that he didn’t have a boyfriend - because he  _ didn’t _ . Bohn ignored King’s argument, speaking over him instead as he continued his train of thought. “You’re not going alone. It’s as simple as that. Besides, your family loves mine. They won’t even question me being there. They’re indifferent to Tee, Boss they’d just give you crap over-”

“Hey!” Boss protested, though it went mostly unheeded while Mek just patted his back reassuringly.

“- and Mek is far too quiet to keep up with the whole mingling process. It’s got to be me.” Bohn gave a short but resolute nod of his head, and honestly King found that he really didn’t have any arguments to anything that Bohn was saying. He was sure that he would be fine. He could handle Sunan on his own. Still, knowing that he wouldn’t have to and that someone else would be there at his side made a great weight lift off of his shoulders.

“Do I get a say in this?” asked King as he looked between his friends, who all shared a look with one another.

“No,” they all answered at the same time as they looked back to King instead of one another. 

“You guys are being absolutely ridiculous.” King shook his head again, but he found that it was really difficult not to smile despite the absurdity of the whole situation. He could take care of himself. He didn’t need his friends coming in to play hero. The fact that they were all willing to meant more than King could properly express, though. He was sure that they could hear the fondness in his voice, anyway. “Fine. If I have to go - that’s a big if - then Bohn can be my date.”

Bohn smirked as he leaned over to rest against King’s side. He wiggled his brows as he said, “You’re going to have the best date at the event. I hope you’re prepared.” King pulled a face at Bohn’s words while Tee and Boss both started complaining that Bohn was being too much and that he was wrong. Good natured bickering broke out between the three of them over who would make a better date, missing the way that Mek and King shared mirroring, fond and amused smiles at their antics. King could almost breathe a sigh of relief as they got lost in their disagreement, feeling more and more at ease the more time he spent around his friends. The whole thing had gone better than planned - even if he was hyper aware of the fact that they kept looking at him as if they were expecting him to suddenly break down or something.

Given how things had been going, he couldn’t exactly blame them for those concerns, either. Even if he thought those concerns were rather unfounded considering he was fine, he knew they had merit. The fact that they were there, trying to help him and wanting to do whatever they could was something that King wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to handle. He could say ‘thank you’ a million times and it would never seem like enough. They did so much for him. He truly couldn’t ask for better friends. Though knowing that Bohn would be with him at the event that weekend didn’t stop the feeling of anxiousness slowly starting to build in his system the longer they sat around talking. Despite him joking along with his friends, laughing and smiling the entire time, he could not help but fear that the event was only going to end up being a far worse situation than they were expecting. He could only hope it was simply his anxiousness making him worry more than he needed to; but, he guessed that he would know for certain by that weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has been reading this. I hope you continue to enjoy and see you at the next update.


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the event at his family home goes nothing like king imagined, while bohn is both a better and worse friend than king thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy. So this is a bit late. I definitely struggled with this one again, but things are about to get to the point I've been waiting for really soon. This whole party thing turned out to not be anything like I had originally planned but it is what it is. I hope you enjoy this mostly friendship bonding chapter.

Things felt as though they were starting to go back to normal in King’s life. He was in much better spirits and his friends didn’t seem as concerned. That was until Friday evening came. If it weren’t for the fact that Mek, Boss, Tee, and Bohn were all there at his apartment with him, King was sure that Ram would have been there too. Things felt a little more normal between them, which King was relieved over - but then a part of him could not help but wonder if it only felt that way because he’d stopped thinking too much about it. He and Ram spent time together every day, after all. Bohn continued to call Ram his boyfriend no matter how many times King insisted that he wasn’t. There was too much going on that evening for King to really spend much time on it, though. “I look ridiculous,” he said with a grumble as he ran a hand through his hair while looking at the tall mirror that hung on the inside of his closet door. His hair was styled back and off his forehead - though the fingers through the strands mussed it up a bit. He wore black slacks and dress shoes with a pressed shirt and suit jacket per his mother’s instructions. It was all worth far too much money, in King’s opinion.

“Well you can’t go in jeans and a hoodie,” commented Bohn as he came into the room wearing a similar outfit though the jacket was a different style. It was a little more fitted than King’s jacket was. “Your mother would disown you on the spot.”

“You think?”

Tee eyed King warily from his spot sitting on King’s bed. “You sounded far too excited at that comment,” he said.

King shrugged his shoulders as he fiddled with the jacket again, tugging on the front of it so that it sat better on his shoulders. “If she’d disown me then I wouldn’t have to go to this stupid thing.”

“You love your mother,” Mek reminded King, making King glance up and look at him through his reflection in the mirror since Mek was standing somewhere over King’s shoulder. “If you would just _tell_ _her-_ ”

“Tell her what? The apple of her eye ruined my life with a charming smile and a laugh that people swoon over?” King shook his head. “It’s better this way.” King pointedly ignored the look that his friends shared with each other. He understood their thoughts and reasonings. He could see why they might believe talking with his family about what had happened might be a good idea. He still couldn’t. He couldn’t just… No, it was better that they didn’t know. Or more it was better that they didn’t think he was making up stories about the golden boy. He knew his sisters were aware that there had been someone in his life that had messed him up. It was why they’d helped him convince their parents that he needed the apartment. It had given him a safe space to go. They were just unaware that it was Sunan that had gotten him to that low point that they’d witnessed. “Anyway. What did you tell Duen about tonight?”

Bohn looked up from his cell phone as he’d started texting someone on it as King had spent a moment a bit lost in thought and he flashed King a bright smile. “That I had to go be the greatest date ever tonight and that King was going to have the most handsome man at the event on his arm,” Bohn answered. Somehow he managed to keep a straight face as he spoke, though his comments caused Boss to snicker behind a hand. “Nah. I just told him that there was a thing and you needed a friend with you.” While they joked around about Bohn being King’s date for the night, they were all aware that it wasn’t actually a date. Duen might not see the humor in it that the rest of them did, and Bohn hadn’t wanted to potentially upset Duen or make him misunderstand anything. 

“I’m surprised that you didn’t invite that nong of yours,” said Boss, making King turn to look at him. Boss was sitting on King’s bed as well, though he was closer to the pillows while Tee was near the foot of the bed. “I think you’d have a better time with him as a date than Bohn.”

“Excuse me!” Bohn huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Anybody would be lucky to have me as a date.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” King reminded them as he looked around at all of them. “You all need to stop. He’s got better things to do than hang around some stupid event all night, anyway.” 

Bohn uncrossed his arms and smoothed out the front of his jacket as he said, “You know he would be there in an instant if you asked. He cares about you - boyfriend or not.”

“He doesn’t need to be any more involved than he already is. He… he sort of knows about Sunan. He gets the gist of it.” Which was about all the detail that Boss, Mek, and Tee really had, too. Tee knew a little more than Boss and Mek, but still they did not know as much of the details as Bohn did. They hadn’t seen King at his lowest low point, just on his fight back up and the steps backward he made along the way. “He, uhm… That day that I went around with Sunan? He overheard us talking when Sunan was being…”

“An asshole. You shouldn’t listen to him.”

King sighed at the interruption and sent Bohn a look, but Bohn didn’t bother apologizing. He wasn’t even a little sorry and King knew it. “Anyway, so he kind of knows bits and pieces.” Due to King talking to Ram a few times about it all, he maybe even knew more than Boss did. The realization suddenly made King feel anxious. He didn’t like it. Ram didn’t need to know anything. He didn’t need to get more involved. He didn’t -

“Ai’King, are you ready?” Tee suddenly asked loudly, snapping King out of his thoughts and nearly causing him to jump. “You okay?”

“Mn. Fine. I’m fine.” King nodded his head a couple of times with a tight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Let’s get this over with.”

The group of them then left the apartment. King wasn’t sure where the other three were heading off to, but he and Bohn made their way to Bohn’s car so that he could drive them to King’s family home. They were both quiet for a couple of minutes with Bohn stealing glances over at King every so often. “So,” he finally said after several minutes, making King sigh heavily as he let his head fall back against the headrest behind him. “I thought things were good with you and Ram again.”

  
“They are. Everything’s back to normal,” King replied. “We’re friends and it’s… it’s good. It’s how things are supposed to be.”

“I don’t understand. You like him-”

“Can we not? Please. I’m already freaking out about tonight and I just… Please.” Bohn sighed heavily, and King took that as him agreeing to drop it. King nodded his head a couple of times and looked out the window at the buildings and other cars flying by.

It remained silent between the two of them for a couple more minutes before Bohn cleared his throat. “You can let yourself be happy, you know.”

“Bohn-”

“No. King you can’t keep doing this. You’re torturing yourself and making yourself miserable for nothing. I don’t understand what’s going on in your head because you never really tell me, or anyone for that matter. We can only help you as much as you let us. Why are you so adamant about pushing him away? It wasn’t that long ago that you were going out of your way to take care of him and make sure he was okay. Now it’s like… I don’t know.” Bohn’s brow furrowed as he spoke. He was trying to make sense of everything that had happened, everything that he’d heard King say - the few things that King had actually said about any of it. He could tell that King was scared, but he didn’t quite understand the rest of it or why King didn’t just let himself be happy when it was clear that being around Ram made him happy.

“Bohn. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’m very glad I’ve got you in my life. But we’re not going to talk about this. Especially not now. I don’t need- Sunan takes advantage of weakness. I don’t need to show him mine.” King glanced over at Bohn, who was still looking ahead of them at the road. Bohn looked as though he wanted to argue, but he nodded his head in somewhat understanding. The two of them spent the rest of the drive in silence. “Use the back entrance,” King informed him when they got near to the house. There would be nobody except his family parked back by the garage there. Everyone would be using the main entrance.

“What? Don’t want to make a grand entrance?” asked Bohn as he turned onto the street that would take them to the back of the house.

“Easy, Cinderella. One would think that’s your desire.”

Bohn clicked his tongue against his teeth and then heaved a great sigh. “My secret has been found out.”

King shook his head with a small, amused smile. “Does Duen have any idea how absolutely ridiculous you are?” He shook his head again when Bohn simply hummed with a shrug of his shoulders in response. King let out a slow, heavy breath as Bohn turned into the drive. His parents’ and sisters’ cars were parked there next to the outer building of the property. It was where they kept the gardening tools and such. As soon as they got out of the car, they could hear the sounds of music and voices in the back yard of King’s family home. They could see the lights that had been strung up. King was sure that the place was impeccably decorated and the short amount of time it took them to walk to where the party was proved him to be correct.

There were tables filled with different refreshments and light snacks. Everyone was dressed to impress and looked as though they were worth millions of dollars. Most of them probably were. King knew it was some sort of charity event his mother had put together - he didn’t know whether it was simply a gathering where everyone made donations or if there was anything else planned. He didn’t care as he found the whole idea to be misleading and ridiculous. Nobody there cared about charity. They cared about appearances. “Ah, you made it!” King heard his mother say from some distance away.

King sighed, inaudible over the sounds around him, and he rolled his eyes as Bohn placed a hand on his side and drew him in close to his side. “Laying it on thick, aren’t you?” he asked, shaking his head when Bohn simply smiled at him as King’s mother approached them. “Hello, Mae.”

“You brought Bohn with you?” she questioned with a soft laugh. “When you said you were bringing someone, I thought…”

She took a drink out of the glass in her hand and King shrugged his shoulders. He almost attempted to wriggle away from Bohn’s side, but Bohn simply pulled him in closer. “No. Just Bohn.”

“Well. You both clean up nicely.” As she spoke she reached out to smooth out the front of King’s jacket. “What do you think? I think everything came together beautifully.” As she spoke his mother turned to gesture to the lights and decorations and tables scattered around and the people milling about.

“It looks like it came straight out of a magazine,” replied Bohn, unknowingly mimicking King’s own thoughts. King always thought that everything that got put together for events at their place was so picture perfect. It was unsettling.

“Thank you.” His mother was beaming at the comment, as if she was the one that had actually done the work instead of hiring people to do it while she just directed. It made King want to roll his eyes. Somehow he managed to keep himself from doing so. “You two have fun. Try some of the food. It’s all wonderful. I have to go mingle.”

The two of them said goodbye to her before she left to do as she said, and then King let out a deep sigh of relief. “I hate this,” he commented. He looked over at Bohn as Bohn lifted the hand from his waist to pat the top of his head. It made King narrow his eyes at Bohn, who simply smiled at him again. He was enjoying everything far too much, in King’s opinion. “I need a drink.”

“Let’s find you one, then,” Bohn agreed with a nod of his head. The two of them then weaved their way through everyone scattered about until they found a drink table that offered something stronger than punch. It wasn’t much stronger, honestly, but wine was better than nothing.

King took the glass that Bohn grabbed for him and took a drink out of it before a voice off to the side pulled his attention. “Isn’t it a bit early in the night to start drinking?” Sunan asked, his charming smile in place as it always was.

“Says the one with the glass of wine in his own hand,” Bohn pointed out as he wrapped his free arm around King’s waist again. King once again almost wanted to shrug him off, but he found that having Bohn there at his side was reassuring, grounding in a sense. 

Sunan shrugged his shoulders before he took a sip out of his glass. He then gestured between the two of them. “What’s this, then?”

“I’m his date.” Bohn straightened up more, attempting to make himself seem taller so that he was closer to Sunan’s height.

Sunan gave a short laugh, but then he furrowed his brow when he realized that neither King nor Bohn were laughing. “Since when? You always told me there was nothing going on with him, that you had no interest. Were you lying?”

“There wasn’t anything going on then,” replied King with a heavy sigh. He all too clearly could remember the times when Sunan accused him of things that hadn’t happened, that would never happen. He still had no interest in Bohn other than being his friend, but he didn’t want to say as much aloud at that moment. There was a twisted sense of amusement in Sunan’s obvious distress at the situation.

“What about that one kid that-?”

“Sunan, I think my mother is looking for you.” King pointed across the way where his mother was talking with a couple of people and she seemed to be attempting to get Sunan’s attention. Most likely wanting to talk about some new amazing, wonderful thing that Sunan had been up to - as if Sunan was actually her son. King should have just been glad that his mother wasn’t trying to show him off as well. Sunan looked for a split second like he might ignore it, but then he just sighed and made his way over there as he once again smiled his charming smile. It made King shake his head and down the rest of the wine in his glass. “Coming here was pointless.”

“It made your mother happy,” Bohn reminded King as he gently squeezed him. He had a small, reassuring smile on his face, one that King could not help but return with a small nod of his head. Bohn was right about that. He knew that it did mean a lot to his mother that he was there. Even if he didn’t like the event or the fact that it was really just pomp and circumstance for appearances, he wasn’t there for himself in the first place. “Another drink?”

“Probably not a good idea.” King winced a little as he tapped a finger against his empty glass. While he would honestly love another glass of wine, he knew that it would be far too easy to convince himself to have more and end up more drunk than he wanted to be. “I’m going to run inside for a minute. You okay out here?”

“Mn. I’ll find some way to keep myself busy. The food does look good.” As he spoke, Bohn eyed the table that had different baked goods and pastries spread out and displayed prettily on it. “Don’t take too long or I’ll come looking for you.”

King rolled his eyes but patted Bohn on the shoulder before he made his way toward the house. He was careful to not draw attention to himself by various people he knew through his mother but did not want to play nice with. He left the empty glass in his hand with someone that his mother had hired to do such things when he passed them. He would have just taken it into the kitchen since it was right there off of the back yard, but he was sure his mother would have a fit if she saw him. King let out a heavy sigh of relief once he was inside the house and had shut the door behind him, successfully muffling the sounds of the party going on. He then made his way over to where his plants were lined up on the counter with a small smile on his face so that he could check them over. The housekeeper did a good job of looking after them since he was rarely there anymore. King hated how uncomfortable he felt in his own home most of the time. It was why he’d moved out in the first place.

“Didn’t take you long to run off,” Sunan said behind him, making King jump and almost drop the plant in his hand. He was not sure how long he’d been in there, studying his plants and making sure that they were okay. It felt like seconds, but he was sure it had been several minutes in reality. “Really. You would sneak off to check on these dumb things, wouldn’t you?”

King placed the plant down on the counter where he’d grabbed it from. “Guests are not supposed to be in the house,” King reminded him. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair as he turned to face Sunan fully. “What do you want?”

“Just to talk. Can’t we talk like we used to?”

“I have nothing to say to you.” King ignored the way that Sunan frowned at him and he made his way back toward the door. He stumbled to a stop when Sunan grabbed his arm and yanked him back.

“I wasn’t finished.”

“But I am.” King tugged his arm out of Sunan’s grasp and he could not keep the small smirk off of his face at the way that Sunan seemed incredibly surprised at his reaction. It was true that a while ago, it would have taken far less to get King to stand there and talk with him - or not talk as the case often was when they snuck off together. “I have to get back to my date.”

“He’s not good enough for you,” Sunan insisted as King walked out the door. He closed it with a snap that effectively cut off any further communication for the moment. 

King felt… light. He wasn’t sure how to explain it, really. There was an ease to his step and he did not feel like there were weights on his shoulders anymore. It had been a very simple interaction. Nothing had really happened, but maybe that was the point. Nothing had happened. King had been able to face Sunan and he didn’t feel defeated or broken down. He felt like he continued to have the upper hand, like when he told his friends that he was going to be okay he would actually be able to mean it. King saw Bohn standing near where he’d last seen him, but that time his mother was standing with Bohn. Perfect. King went over toward them, greeting a small group of his mother’s friends that were standing around with a small incline of his head and folded hands as he passed. Once he reached his friend’s side, he looped his arm through Bohn’s. “This has been great, Mae, but we’re going to go,” King announced, cutting through his mother’s attempt at getting him to come talk to someone or another. “I made an appearance. Your friends or whatever have seen me. Just tell them I had an emergency come up or something. But we’re going to go.”

“We are?” questioned Bohn, his brow furrowing. He studied King for a few seconds but then looked to King’s mother with a nod of his head. “We are. The party is lovely. Thanks for having us.” King took the small plate of appetizers from Bohn’s hand and held it out to his mother, who had a look of surprise on her face as she took it without quite realizing what she was doing, before he started to lead Bohn back toward where he’d parked the car. “Ai’King, what’s going on?”

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” King explained with a shrug of his shoulders. “I hate it here. I hate this stupid party. I hate these clothes. I don’t want to be around Sunan. I just… I’m tired of doing what everyone else wants me to.” Bohn smiled proudly at King over the top of his car as he listened to King explained and he nodded his head before they both got in. “Coming here was stupid. I had no reason to be here. I should have just told my mother that I wouldn’t show up in the first place.”

“But then I wouldn’t have had the chance to dress up or be your wonderful date.” Bohn flashed King a smile as he started up the car that made both of them chuckle. “So, what happened when you went inside? What changed?”

King bit his lower lip as he thought it over, his brow pinching in the middle as he reached up to run a hand through his hair again. “I’m not… entirely sure. Sunan sho-”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing. Really. He just said he wanted to talk and I just… I told him no and I walked away. Then I just… realized that I should’ve said that to the whole thing in general and just not gone.” Bohn hummed in acknowledgement, though he wasn’t entirely sure he agreed. At least in showing up, he did placate his mother some. That was a good thing, after all. Though the way he left may have lost him the points that he’d earned in showing up in the first place. “I’m starving. Let’s go someplace we’re far too dressed up for and eat too much and you can tell me about the drama I’m sure you overheard standing out there.”

“Mn. That sounds like a much better date, anyway.” Bohn laughed when King just turned and punched him in the shoulder, though he flinched away and held up an arm in an attempt to get King to not hit him again. “Don’t attack the driver.” King rolled his eyes and huffed as he got himself settled back into place, crossing his arms over his chest. “And don’t think that we’re not going to eventually get back to what we were talking about before.” King seemed to be confused at the comment, which just made Bohn smirk as though he had the upper hand. “So Ram’s your weakness, huh?” King groaned and lifted a hand to run over his face several times but offered Bohn no response. It just made Bohn continue to smirk as he kept most of his focus on the road ahead of him while he drove to one of their favorite small shops to eat at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for everyone who continues to read this fic. Sorry that Ram was not in this update. But he will return in the next one.


	13. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> king and bohn spend some more time talking, and king doesn't end up going home right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. So another chapter. And Ram is actually in this one again.

King and Bohn had ditched their jackets in Bohn’s car. They had their shirt sleeves rolled up past their elbows with the hems untucked and the top few buttons undone. They definitely felt a lot more at ease than they had when they left the big party at King’s family home. “Ai’King?” Bohn asked as they wandered along. Each of them had a small bowl of ice cream that they were eating as they walked one of the trails at the park they’d stopped at. It was much nicer than staying at the party, in King’s opinion. When King hummed, letting Bohn know he was listening, Bohn started talking again. “You let me, Mek, Tee, and Boss look out for you. So why is it you’re so adamant about pushing Ram away?”

“Damn, Bohn. Can’t we go five minutes? You would think that you’re the one who has feelings for him,” King said with a harsh jab at the ice cream in his bowl.

“Is that your roundabout way of admitting that you do have feelings for him?” Bohn smiled innocently when King glared over at him in response. “Look. I get it. I know- I know how fucked up things were with Sunan. We both know that Ram isn’t him, though.”

“I know. That’s not… I don’t think Ram’s going to suddenly turn out to be an asshole like Sunan is.” King shook his head and then took a small bite of his ice cream. That was most definitely not an issue in the slightest. Ram had done nothing but show him kindness and concern in a way he wasn’t used to from someone that wasn’t one of his boys. It was similar, but different all at the same time. “I just- He’s not going to stay. Eventually, he’ll get tired of having to deal with me being… well, me. I don’t want to get hurt.”

Bohn nodded his head a couple of times as if he understood. He could understand what King was saying, he just wasn’t sure he agreed with King’s rather drastic attempts at protecting himself from something that may never happen. “And what if he doesn’t? I mean, I’ve already told you I don’t know how many times that I don’t think he’s going anywhere. If anything, I think he’s just waiting for you to catch up.”

“He deserves better.” King didn’t look at Bohn as he spoke, focusing on his ice cream instead so that he wouldn’t have to see Bohn’s face. Bohn always struggled to keep his feelings from showing on his face.

“That isn’t your decision to make.” The almost edge to Bohn’s tone made King look over toward his friend out of the corner of his eye. “It’s his. And for some reason, despite everything that’s been going on, he’s still here. Well, not here literally but you get what I’m trying to say.” King sighed heavily but offered no words in response. “If you called him, I’m sure he’d be here in no time at all. Or maybe he’s already waiting for you at the apartment the two of you did share for a while.”

King nodded his head a couple of times with a tense, closed mouth smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. The one he left.”

“The one that he keeps coming back to,” corrected Bohn, attempting to get King to focus on that rather than whatever sense his mind was insisting existed in the fact that Ram had moved back home. Bohn smirked when he realized that King seemed to be struggling to come up with some sort of response to his statement. King’s brow was furrowed and he scowled at his ice cream as if it was the source of his problems. “Come on. Finish that and I’ll take you home.” Bohn nudged King gently with his elbow, making King look over at him with a faint smile and a nod of his head in agreement.

Neither one of them said much else except to talk about their ice cream and the different gossip that Bohn had overheard at the party. It made the two of them laugh and shake their heads at the ridiculousness of it all. Most of the gossip was about petty things, but they were amusing to talk about nonetheless. King could not keep the frown off of his face when Bohn informed him that a couple of people seemed to be talking about Ram’s parents. Bohn said he wasn’t sure what exactly was being said besides the fact that those that were talking were saying it was a sad story. “Apparently they were invited but the invitation was turned down,” Bohn explained.

King almost wanted to go back and give everyone a piece of his mind, to make sure they stopped talking about it. He was sure it would only make the situation worse, though. So he just sighed and ate another spoonful of his ice cream. They didn’t wander around much longer after that, just long enough to finish off their ice cream before they started to walk back toward Bohn’s car. “Are you going to see him this weekend?” asked Bohn once they were in the car and getting buckled in. He knew King had heard him, but King refused to answer. It made Bohn shake his head with a heavy sigh. “I’m going to go meet Duen once I drop you off.”

“Isn’t it a bit late?” asked King as he checked through a few messages he had on his phone that he hadn’t responded to yet. One of them was from Ram, asking him how he was doing. King’s thumb hovered over the message for a few seconds before he turned off his phone screen.

“Not really. We’re gonna catch a late movie and then who knows.” Bohn shrugged as he pulled out of the parking lot that they were in. “Think I should go like this? Show off a bit?”

“You’d look like a prat, but sure. Go ahead.” King chuckled as he spoke, reaching over to tug at the collar of Bohn’s shirt. “Your clothes are still at my place. Change back before you leave.” Bohn sighed dramatically but nodded his head at the suggestion. He had already planned on it anyway, but that was no fun to admit. 

The drive back to King’s apartment building didn’t take too long. The park that they had chosen to stop at wasn’t very far away. “Wait, wait,” King said as Bohn pulled into the parking lot. “Is that Sunan’s car?” He pointed to the familiar looking sports car that was waiting in one of the spots close to the front door. Bohn swore and King sighed as he sunk down low in his seat. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be here. Let’s leave. Please.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll take you to my place, reschedule with Duen.”

“What? No. You don’t have to do that,” replied King with a shake of his head. He could handle spending time alone at Bohn’s place. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Nah. It’s fine. I don’t mind.” He really didn’t want to leave King alone for an extended period. His friend seemed okay, but with everything that had been going on he just didn’t want to risk it. King did better when he wasn’t allowed time to get too lost in his head, after all. “Duen will understand.”

“Mek and Boss-”

“Already have plans. So does Tee.” Bohn wasn’t sure who Tee had plans with, but he knew that Tee had made plans for the evening. He didn’t want to ruin any of their plans by forcing them to come home and spend time with King. He knew that they would without hesitation, but that wasn’t the point. He knew that King wouldn’t want them to cancel their plans, either. 

“Then, uh… I have another idea. You won’t have to cancel with Duen, either.”

Bohn frowned a little, not sure what to think, but he nodded his head and started in the direction that King told him to go. “Where are we going?” Bohn asked. He frowned again when King didn’t give an explanation. He just continued to direct Bohn wherever it was that he wanted to be going. Bohn glanced over at King again once he pulled into an unfamiliar driveway in front of an unfamiliar house. “Where are we?”

King let out a heavy breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Well,” he started to answer before he paused and seemed to think over his words for a few seconds. “You’re the one who thought I should talk with Ram, right?”

“This is Ram’s place?” Bohn ducked down slightly as he asked, attempting to be able to see more of the house through the front windshield. 

“Mn. I’ll hang out here a while and then go home later. Hopefully Sunan will have given up and left.” King gave Bohn a weak smile and he reached over to pat his shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

Bohn nodded his head as he sat up straight again. “Text me when you get home so I know you’re okay.”

“Yeah, yeah.” King rolled his eyes and unbuckled his seatbelt so that he could get out of the car. He waved at Bohn as he climbed out and then shut the door as he moved aside. King waited for Bohn to start to pull away before he turned to look at the house. He let out a slow, deep breath and tried not to convince himself he should just leave. Ram had told him that he should feel free to stop by, after all.

It took him a few moments, but he eventually walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell before he placed his hands in the front pockets of his pants. He was not sure how long he stood there before the door was opened by Ram’s mother, who seemed a bit surprised to see King there but had a gentle smile on her face all the same. “Hello,” King greeted with an incline of his head. “Is Ram here?”

“He took the dogs out for a walk,” she answered King, though she stepped aside and opened the front door more as she did so. “You can wait for him in his room if you’d like.” She was assuming that King hadn’t stopped by for no reason, after all.

King hesitated for a moment before he nodded his head again before he stepped into the house and he thanked her. She asked him if he would like something to drink, which led him to thank her again though he turned down the offer. He felt awkward as he made his way to Ram’s room, but he tried not to let himself overthink it too much. He had been given permission from Ram and his mother to be there. Still he found himself worried that he was overstepping or that maybe Ram had already started to realize that he didn’t want to stick around King anymore. King shook off the thoughts and busied himself with checking up on the plant that he’d given Ram before, the one that still sat on the bookshelf in Ram’s room. It still looked healthy, which made King smile softly to himself. Then, King carefully looked around the room more at the different books Ram had around and at the different things that were lying about in visible places. It didn’t quite feel like snooping, but it was a near thing.

“I thought you were with Bohn tonight,” Ram started to say a short distance from the open doorway, but he paused as he came in when he saw that it was King standing there in his room and not Duen. “Oh. Mum… just said a friend was here. I thought…” Ram’s brow furrowed slightly though his lips were curled up at the corner in an almost smile at the same time. 

“Yeah. I, uh… I hope you don’t mind,” King replied as he lifted one hand to run through his hair. “There was this thing Bohn and I went to - I told you we were going to go, right? I think I did. Anyway, we got all dressed up, as you can see. Afterward, I didn’t really feel up to going home right away.”

“You don’t have to explain.” Ram didn’t need an explanation for King choosing to come visit. “Are you-?”

“I’m fine.” King interrupted the anticipated question. It seemed to be the only thing anyone asked him anymore. He couldn’t blame them for it, but he really was just tired of having to say that he was okay, that he was fine. He was. He was just… He was fine. Really. “Sunan was there tonight.” Once again, King was not entirely sure why he was telling Ram as much as he was. He hadn’t intended to. He hadn’t intended to tell Ram anything. Maybe sit around with him for a while and watch a movie or something before going home. Ram didn’t say anything in response. He just moved across the room to where King was. He took a hold of one of King’s hands with a gentle squeeze. King almost wanted to pull away, that voice in his head once again reminding him that he needed to keep his distance. When he glanced up at Ram’s eyes through the fringe of his hair, though, King couldn’t find it in himself to pull away at all. “He didn’t really get a chance to say anything. I didn’t let him.”

The smile on Ram’s face was almost a smirk that time, and King found he felt a small burst of pride at the expression. “Good.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t message you earlier. I just don’t like that question and-” King broke off his attempt at an explanation when Ram used their joined hands to pull King closer in order to hug him. “Oh.” King hesitated for a few seconds before he hugged Ram back, wrapping both arms firmly around him with a heavy sigh.

The hug lingered for a while, though King lost track of time and had no real idea how long they stood there. When he pulled away, Ram smiled at him again - it was a small gesture, unsure and hesitant but honest all the same. “Do you want to borrow some clothes? Something not so…” Ram offered as he gestured to what King was wearing. King looked good, of course, but Ram thought he always did. He was sure, though, that King was probably incredibly uncomfortable. It definitely wasn’t something he would have picked out to wear on his own.

King gave a soft, almost airy laugh at the offer with a smile and a nod of his head. “That would be amazing. These are just…” King pulled a face as he spoke. He definitely felt uncomfortable in the clothes, even if he was less put together than he’d been at the party his mother had put together. “Thank you.”

Ram nodded his head in response and he smiled a little more before he went to grab some clean clothes that King could borrow. They were more like what King would wear on the average day - including a soft hoodie that was similar to ones he’d seen King wear at King’s apartment. Once he had the clothes, King went into the bathroom to change into them. He carefully folded up the nice clothes he’d been wearing and carried them back into Ram’s room where he placed them on the same chair he’d put his clothes on when he’d stayed the night. “Are you sure it’s okay that I hang out for a while?” King asked, making Ram look up from the book that he was reading.

“P’King,” replied Ram with a heavy sigh as he placed a bookmark in his book. “Of course it is.” The fact that he always wanted King to be around went unsaid, but somehow, even King knew that the words lingered there just below the surface, just beyond the simple statement that he’d given. “Do you want to watch something? I’ve got a few video games we can play, fill the time.”

King hesitated, glancing over to the doorway before he looked back over at Ram before he nodded his head in response. It was fine, he told himself. They were friends and hanging out was part of what friends did. It didn’t need to be more than that. “Fine. But only if you promise not to kick my ass too horribly.”

The expression on Ram’s face was one that told King that Ram wouldn’t promise him anything. It made King laugh softly before they went to sit together on the floor in front of the television with the gaming console. They didn’t say anything as Ram set it up, but King didn’t feel like they needed to. It was just a very peaceful moment, honestly. He felt at ease and for a little while he was even able to forget why he was there in the first place, that Sunan had shown up at his apartment building in an attempt to… something.

As they played some sort of racing game, King eventually ended up shifting how he was sitting so that he was able to easily lean over and rest his head on Ram’s shoulder. He did so without thinking about it. It was just a very simple action and felt like something that was normal. It wasn’t until they’d played several rounds that way before King found himself starting to overthink it. He really needed to stop letting himself lean on Ram so much - physically and figuratively. Clearing his throat, King sat up straight again. “I, uh, I should probably go. It’s starting to get late. Wouldn’t want to keep you or miss the last bus,” he said with a small laugh as he sat aside the controller he had been using.

“You could stay,” Ram offered quietly.

King nodded his head a couple of times. “I know. I would, but, uh… I think- I think I need to go home.” King nodded his head again as he ran a hand through his hair. “Thank you, though. For letting me hang out and the clothes. I’ll give them back soon.”

“Keep them.”

King blinked several times at the suggestion, but then he gave Ram a small smile. “Okay. I, uhm… I’ll see you Monday?”

Ram nodded his head as the two of them got up from the floor. Ram turned off the television as King grabbed his clothes. “Can I at least walk you to the bus stop?”

“Yes.” King answered before he could stop himself - he almost wanted to groan once he realized what he’d said. He didn’t want Ram to think that he had lied or anything, though, so he kept his realization to himself. He hadn’t lied. He wanted Ram to go with him; but, that was the problem. He wanted Ram to go with him.

Neither one of them spoke as they walked to the nearest bus stop, but then it wasn’t uncommon for them not to need to try to hold a conversation. King was sure that Ram still had some questions, some comments. He could see them in the way that Ram would glance over at him, the way that Ram would shift and move in a way that seemed as though he was going to turn to face King directly and say something but then he didn’t. King knew that it wasn’t fair to keep dragging him along, to keep showing up and involving him and then pushing him away again. It wasn’t fair or right, but he just… he didn’t know what else to do. 

With a heavy sigh, King sat down on the bench there at the bus stop once they reached it. Ram seemed to hesitate for a moment before he walked over and sat down next to King. “Things have been kind of… off lately,” King said after they had sat there for a minute or two. He crossed his arms as he rested them on top of the clothes he had sitting in his lap. “I know I’ve been kind of all over the place.”

“P’King…” Ram said with a sigh of his own. He knew that King was right. Things were a bit of a mess - confusing and oftentimes with such a quick emotional whiplash that Ram wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to think. Still, there wasn’t anywhere else that Ram wanted to be, even if it meant being confused while King continued to figure everything out. He could wait. He would wait. He wanted to hear what King had to say, what he thought and felt. Yet he was sure that King wasn’t entirely ready to talk about more than what he had already. More than that, his bus was approaching the stop. “Your bus.”

King looked over in the direction that Ram nodded his head in as he’d mentioned the bus and saw that he was right, the bus was almost there. “Right. Right, yeah. I’ll…” King gave a short, soft laugh with a small smile on his face. “I’ll see you Monday, Ning. Unless… I-I mean… if you’re not busy tomorrow...”

“Tomorrow. I’ll come over then.” Ram didn’t get up as King did when the bus came to a stop in front of them. “Sleep well, P’King.”

“Yeah. You, too, Ning.” King turned to look at Ram as he spoke, walking backward toward the bus as he did. He hugged his clothes to his chest with one arm and raised his other hand in a small wave before he turned around and hurried onto the bus before it took off without him.

Ram continued to sit there for a few minutes, until after he could no longer see the bus in the distance, before he stood up and made his way back toward his house with a small smile on his face the whole time. Though he knew he should be hesitant about everything, he could not keep himself from hoping that things were finally actually moving in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to look up~


	14. fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King faces Sunan, has a sleepover with some good friends, and makes a small step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy. So this chapter is coming to you much later than I had anticipated. Things happened and yea. But here we are. Ram once again makes an appearance in this chapter aaaaand we're making baby steps in the right direction - now just gotta give a good nudge, huh?

When he got back to his apartment building, King didn't see Sunan’s car in the parking lot anymore. It made him let out a great breath of relief as he made his way toward the front door of the building. He hadn't quite reached the doors when he heard Sunan's voice behind him. “Are you avoiding me?” he asked, which made King stop walking and groan under his breath before turning to look at him. “What are you wearing? Whose clothes are those?”

“None of your business,” answered King with a clipped tone. “Go away. I'm tired of having to tell you this. If you don't stop I'll-”

“You'll what, exactly?” Sunan raised his brows as he spoke, a faint smirk curling his lips. “Come on, we both know this little game of yours isn't going to last. You want me in your life.”

“No, I don't. I already have everyone in my life that I need - you aren't one of them.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

There was a time that the glint King could see in Sunan’s eyes would have scared him, would have made him flinch and try to take back whatever he'd said that had brought it about. That night, King found that he really just didn't care. He was tired and he was sure that it was visible in the slump of his shoulders and the way his face was folded. “It means that you don't have a hold on me anymore. I won't jump just because you told me to. I'm my own person, and I'm better than you ever realized.”

“Your dumbass friend went and put some nonsense in your head, didn't he?” Sunan scoffed with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head. “You're better with me. I make you better.”

“No, you don't. You make me a shell of myself following after you and begging for a moment of your attention.” That time, King scoffed as he gave Sunan a once over. “And it was never worth it.” Sunan grumbled something and took a step toward King but King continued into the building instead of continuing to stand there. Sunan seemed stunned by the fact that King was just walking away from him and by the time he moved past it enough to follow, King was in the elevator and the doors were closing - effectively making it so that Sunan couldn’t follow him to the apartment.

The breath that King let out as the elevator started to move was long and shaky. He suddenly felt incredibly tired and like his legs might give out underneath him; which was ridiculous. Nothing had happened. He was so tired of being so affected by something that was ultimately  _ nothing _ . It was just … ridiculous. King laughed at himself as he ran a hand over his face before stepping off of the elevator when the doors opened. He quickly made his way to his door and into the apartment, turning on the lights as he went. He tossed his keys onto the table and the dress clothes from earlier onto the couch as he passed. King intended to take a shower and go to bed but before he could leave the living room it was as if everything that had been happening finally caught back up to him and he found himself struggling to breathe let alone take a step forward. 

He wasn’t exactly sure when he managed to sit down, but he found himself on the floor with unsteady breaths and slightly blurred vision. He hadn’t been eating correctly or sleeping well for a long while at that point, and with all the stress of everything King was just… drained. He felt physically and mentally drained and honestly he wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it. He wanted to just crawl into bed and forget everything, everyone. King gave a short, pained laugh at the thought of the look Bohn would give him in response if he ever said such a thing.

Once King seemed to have a control on his breathing, once the panic that had taken over settled and faded to a point that he could move again, King carefully made his way to his bedroom and then crawled into his bed. He then pulled his cell phone out of the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing and he sent out a quick text before he could convince himself otherwise. He felt guilty as soon as he sent the message, but it felt like the right thing to do. He only hoped that the message would actually get read. 

King wasn’t sure how long he lay there - but he was almost asleep when he heard the distant sounds of his door being unlocked and opened. He heard faint whispers in the front room, probably an attempt not to wake him in case he’d fallen asleep. King sighed and sat up on the bed, running a hand through his hair. He was almost up from the bed when Boss and Mek came walking into his bedroom. He’d sent the message to Boss but it didn’t surprise him at all that Mek had come with him. “Sorry for interrupting date night,” King mumbled.

“Don’t even,” replied Boss as he walked over to the bed. He then pushed King back onto it, ordering him to lay down and get comfortable. “You were almost asleep?” King hummed in response with a nod of his head as Boss directed him to lay there and then wrapped both arms around him to hug him close. King made a noise of complaint - it wasn’t what he’d called Boss for - but Boss seemed to ignore it as he just held King even closer. “We can talk in the morning, then. For now, just hush and relax.”

Mek moved around the bed as Boss talked, climbing into the bed on King’s other side. He got comfortable and then wrapped his arms around both of them, hugging them tightly. It made King groan at the sudden strength of the four arms around him, but the holds loosened and the three of them just lay there. King hated to admit that just having them there like that made him feel better, lighter. His head didn’t feel as fuzzy nor his chest as tight. “I thought Bohn was with you,” Mek commented.

King hummed again with another nod of his head. “He was. Then…” King started to explain. He frowned and shifted around in an attempt to get comfortable. “Sunan was downstairs. So, I had Bohn take me to Ram’s so he could go meet up with Duen.” King quietly told them about what had happened with Sunan, what he'd said to his ex, and how when he'd gotten back to his apartment he'd felt everything bottom out.

“You've gone through a lot lately,” commented Mek. While maybe it didn't seem like it to anyone who didn't know King or the situation, he really had gone through a lot since Sunan showed his face again and while struggling with his own feelings. Mek was not surprised it had all caught up with King again. At least that time it wasn't aided by alcohol and stupid choices. “Proud of you. For continuing to stand up to Sunan.”

King glanced over at Mek as well as he could in their tangle of limbs with a small, weak smile. “And you did good getting a hold of us,” Boss insisted with a nod of his head. “But you're stuck with us at least until morning, now.”

“I think I can handle that,” replied King. He was already feeling better, just having two of the people who knew him best there at his side was enough. The reminders that they supported him and would be there for him were enough to drive away the lingering shaky, sick feeling from his run-in with Sunan. Far too warm, and a little uncomfortable but very safe in the grasp of his friends, King found himself very easily falling asleep. 

Morning came faster than any of the three were ready for, and Boss’s phone alarm sounded loud and annoying from the other room where he'd left it on the table as he'd passed it. Somehow, Boss had ended up sprawled out in the middle of the bed with one arm draped over Mek while the other was draped over King - the later of whom seemed to have almost fallen out of the bed by the time they were stirring and groaning about Boss’s alarm. “It's Saturday,” King whined. “Why's it doing that?”

“Boss gets up and… I don't know what he does,” answered Mek. His voice was muffled from how his face was pressed into the pillow under his head.

King groaned and reached over to shove at Boss’s shoulder. “Get up and turn it off.”

Boss whined and wrapped both his arms around King instead, snuggling in close to his side. “I don’t want to,” he replied.

“I’ll get it,” said Mek as he sighed heavily. With a groan, he got out of the bed and made his way to the living room in order to turn off the alarm on Boss’s phone. Once it was off, he made his way back to the bedroom before crawling back into the bed, laying so that he was draped across the other two which made them groan and complain. “You made me get up. Deal with it.”

There were a few more complaints from both Boss and King, but eventually they grew quiet and the three of them drifted off to sleep again until a couple of hours later when King pushed his way out of the pile of bodies that were his friends before he stumbled his way to the bathroom. Boss slowly sat up and ran a hand through his hair while running the other one over his face a time or two. “What time is it, anyway?” he asked, voice still thick with sleep.

“Don’t know,” Mek answered, though he looked over toward the bedside table to see if he could see the clock from there. He couldn’t and didn’t want to move to attempt to see it. A knock at the front door made Mek sit up as well, looking over at Boss. “Think it’s Bohn?”

“Might be. I’ll - wait, no. Bohn has a key.” The two of them then got up from the bed and walked together to the front door. “What if it’s Sunan?”

Mek clenched his jaw at the question and opened the door, prepared to tell him off and that he wasn’t welcome there, but when he saw that it was Ram standing there he let out a small laugh instead. “Oh. Hi,” he said before he grabbed Boss’s shoulder and started to lead him back to the living room, letting Ram into the apartment. “I didn’t realize you were coming over today.”

Ram nodded at the comment as he looked around, most likely seeing if King was actually there, and he said, “Mn. P’King-”

“Who was at the door?” King asked as he came into the living room, not realizing that he was interrupting Ram speaking.

“It’s that nong of yours,” answered Boss. He took a step aside so that King could see Ram standing there.

“Oh. Hi. I- What time is it? Wait did we say a time? We didn’t, did we? Still, what time is it?” Ram shook his head slowly with a small, amused smile at the line of questions from King, which made King huff out a breath when he realized that Ram wasn’t going to tell him the time. 

“It’s almost noon,” said Mek after he picked up Boss’s phone and checked the time. “What the hell? Did we really sleep that long?”

“It was late when we got here,” Boss mumbled, leaning against Mek’s side and using his shoulder as a pillow.

“Was it?” King’s brow furrowed as he asked the question. He had no idea how late it had been when he’d messaged them. He hadn’t thought it was that late. Then again, his whole sense of time had been rather skewed the whole night. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you guys.”

“If it was a bother, we wouldn’t have shown up,” insisted Mek, shooting King a pointed look that left him with no room to argue. King sighed and nodded his head a couple of times, running a hand through his hair. “But, on that note. I think we’re going to go. Boss seems like he might fall asleep again just standing here.”

Before King could even attempt to protest, to tell them that they didn’t need to leave, they were already heading to the door with Boss calling over his shoulder that he’d see King on Monday. The apartment seemed incredibly quiet after the door shut, leaving King and Ram alone. “Sorry. I would have… called or something. We just woke up, though. I’ve not even showered yet or anything,” said King as he thoughtlessly ruffled his hair. He hadn’t quite forgotten that he and Ram had talked about hanging out, but he realized then that he’d failed at following through with any real plan such as when Ram should show up. Not that he couldn’t show up whenever. “Do you mind if I do that? I feel gross. I had two giant puppies clinging to me all night.” Ram’s brow furrowed in confusion for several seconds before he realized that King had to have been referring to Mek and Boss. With a soft laugh, Ram shook his head. He didn’t mind just hanging out while King did whatever. “Cool. Thanks, Ning. You can watch something if you want. Instead of just sitting around.” King nodded and gave Ram a small smile before he went to his bedroom so that he could get what he needed in order to shower. 

Ram turned on the TV to something he didn’t have to pay much attention to and played a game on his phone as King showered and changed into something clean instead of the clothes borrowed from Ram. King lingered in the shower some, mostly because despite having had Boss and Mek with him all night he still felt a bit tense and almost dirty just from having talked with Sunan the night before. He felt a little better by the time he was out of the shower. King was still drying his hair with a towel as he made his way into the living room. By the time he reached it, his brow furrowed as he realized that Ram was no longer sitting on the couch. He could hear something in the kitchen, though, so he continued in that direction. “What are you doing?” he asked Ram as he realized that Ram was actually making use of the kitchen.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Ram replied with a small smile. “I figured… if you just woke up, you haven’t eaten yet.”

“Oh.” King shook his head and draped his towel over his shoulder. “You’re right. But you don’t have to-”

“I wanted to. I’m almost done, anyway.” Ram nodded toward the table, indicating that King should go sit down.

King nodded again and went to sit down. Then he resumed drying his hair while Ram finished cooking. “I feel a bit bad,” King said as he draped the towel over the back of his chair. “First I interrupted Boss and Mek’s date night, and now you’re cooking when you’re the guest.”

“Not a guest.” King tilted his head slightly in confusion at Ram’s words, which made Ram smile at him with a soft laugh. “I lived here, too.”

King inhaled sharply through his nose at the reminder. It was true. Ram had lived there, albeit temporarily. He had known it would just be temporary when he’d first offered to have Ram stay. Still, he found that he hadn’t really liked it when Ram had returned home. “Yeah, yeah you did.” He was glad that they didn’t talk about it anymore as Ram placed two plates on the table before sitting down with him. “Ah. So was this just a cleverly designed way for you to steal some of my food.”

Ram smirked and shrugged his shoulders, easily playing along with King’s joking comment. It made King shake his head with a soft laugh before he ate some of the food that Ram had made for the two of them. The two of them talked some as they ate, nothing of real importance but enough to fill the time and space with a general, comforting feeling. It was things like that which King missed when he found himself alone in the apartment. “P’King,” Ram said after they were both finished eating - the tone of his voice carried a weight it didn’t have before, the playful lightness that had been there set aside for the moment.

It made King tense in his seat for several seconds before he stood up and took their plates over to the sink so that he could start cleaning up. “I don’t want to talk about Sunan,” he said after he cleared his throat. “I do- I’m fine. Yesterday was… I’m fine. Having Mek and Boss here helped.”

Ram nodded his head slowly in understanding. “That wasn’t what I wanted to talk about.”

“Oh.” King paused for a few seconds before he resumed what he was doing. “Can we just… not. Not right now. I can’t-”

“We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

King let out a heavy breath that he hadn’t realized he had started holding while Ram spoke. He didn’t deserve the consideration that Ram was showing him. He hadn’t done anything to earn Ram’s patience and understanding and yet he continued to show it every time. With another nod of his head, King finished washing up and then looked over at Ram with a small but hesitant smile. He still wasn’t sure why Ram was there, why Ram continued to be there; but, he was glad that he was. “Do you want to watch a movie or something? Or we can… I don’t know. I don’t really want to go anywhere.”

Ram shrugged his shoulders as he stood up from the table. He wasn’t bothered at the thought of staying in while hanging out with King at all. If anything, he liked it more because it meant that he didn’t have to deal with anyone else when King was the only one he was interested in spending time with. “Staying in sounds nice. We can watch what you want.”

“Are you sure? It’ll probably be a boring documentary again.” King grabbed the towel off the back of his chair as he spoke, intending on taking it to the bathroom before sitting down to watch anything. King shrugged his shoulders when Ram gave him a look that clearly stated he couldn’t believe that King had said that. He knew that the documentaries he enjoyed watching were boring to… well, pretty much everyone. But then as he went to put up the towel he remembered back to when Ram had told him that he enjoyed seeing and hearing what King enjoyed. It made King smile a little to himself before he returned to the living room, where Ram was already sitting on the couch.

King sat down next to him and took the remote when Ram handed it to him with a soft ‘thanks’. Instead of putting on the documentary like he’d said, he put on a movie that he was sure Ram would enjoy based on some of the things they had watched together in the past. After starting the movie, he set the remote aside and got comfortable there on the couch. Once again, he ended up sitting where he could rest his head on top of Ram’s shoulder. He didn’t even realize he’d done it until Ram shifted enough to get more comfortable. King started to sit upright, but he stopped when Ram placed a hand on top of his leg, his eyes immediately moving from the television screen to Ram’s hand - a silent statement that he didn’t need to move. King smiled a little and relaxed again as he returned his attention to the television. Maybe it would seem like some to be a boring day, but after everything that had been happening it was the kind of day that King needed. Having Ram there with him just made the whole day better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk about anything or talk about my fics on [tumblr!!](https://reservethesun.tumblr.com/)


End file.
